GFG update

[rejectedmom]

As many of you might remember GFG got out of jail over the winter. We did not let him come home to us and he went to a shelter close by. He did well for a little while but then moved out of the shelter which was trying to get him into therapy and on medical assistance to live with some "friends" on a farm just over the state line. He was helping on the farm and working at a FF resturant and had applied to the Fire company and that was looking good. Then he started drinking again (bad mix with his meds) and lost his job his housing and also got a non life threating STD. He also has several new criminial charges including an assault on his GF, a DUI, driving without a licence and unauthorized use of a motor vehicle. He will be going to court for those charges this week. He will get at least a year i jail according to his lawyer.
The news didn['t surprise us but the fact that he broke his GF's nose was more than upsetting to us. He asked me to go and round up his possessions for him while he wwent to rehab. I refused. It was hard but I had told him when he took them all out of my house that I would not gather them back up for him again. We also told him that we didn't want anything more to do with his life until he was sober for a good long time (Dh said years..sigh)...
We haven't heard from him or seen him since July 4th. He may already be in jail here for non payment of his court fees. I do not know I haven't checked the prison roll. DH and I are so dead inside when it come to feeling anything but frustration and disgust for his life choices anymore. His siblings feel the same way. Yet I still miss him and I often find myself looking for him when I drive through town.

I'm sure there will be more chapters to the story of his life and mine in the future but for now that is on hold. I know there are others here who have had to sever ties with their GFG for the sake of their sanity and safety. I thank you for having shared that with the forum because knowing that there are others out there that have walked this path does help.
wishing you all many blessings..-RM

[Nancy]

I'm so sorry RM. There sure are a lot of us out here who have either had to cut off contact or are contemplating it. I know some of the sadness you feel everytime my gfg goes on the run. I am afraid someday it will be for good and I will be looking around town as I drive through also.

I hate what alcohol does to some people and I hate that it's so hard for them to stay away from it.

I think you are doing the right thing but that doesn't stop the hurt.

Hugs,
Nancy

[katya02]

I'm so sorry, RM. Hugs for your hurting heart.

[Bean]

Just wanting to share more hugs with you. What a hard place to be. The fact that you haven't called the prison to see if he is there sounds like a sign of achieving a decent level of attachment. Is that true? Doesn't mean that a momma's heart still doesn't hurt though.

[busywend]

I am so sorry. You are doing the right thing. It is important for the GsFG to realize that people around them can only take so much. There is a breaking point for everyone. It is a natural consequence to their choices. If only he could see that.

HUGS!

[rejectedmom]

Nancy, Katya, Bean and Busywend, Thank you for your kind words and Cyber hugs. As it turns out GFG called me this morning...Must have be telapathy...he nolonger goes to court tomorrow. They are asking for a postponement cause the PD hasn't had time to work on his case. WTH Anway...
He says he is living at his Sponsor's house since felt like he wanted to use... Also he now has alot of hope that he will not get any or little jail time...He is kidding himself IMO. These are serious charges. He broke his GF's nose and took her car and he didn't have a licence and was drunk and speeding etc. He is thinking he will only get three months now but he had toldme a year when he first consulted the lawyer. Oh well, sigh, at least I know that he isn't a John Doe somewhere. -RM

[Bean]

Hang in there, momma.

[witzend]

At least it's "good news and bad news" instead of just "bad news". I hope he will want to continue his sobriety. It sounds like he is in a safe place for now.

[rejectedmom]

Thanks Bean!

Witz, you are correct It could be worse. I can always count on you ladies to find the bright spots in a situation even if they are small and hard to see. Thank you. -RM

[witzend]

I just wish I had something more upbeat to say...