Phone calls...

[Dammit Janet]

I must say I find these almost amusing. He is pulling out all the stops.

The first call was all "Get me out! You HAVE to get me OUT!" And when I said now it deteriorated into him cussing me out and he hung up on me...lmao. He called me back in short order and apologized telling me I didnt know how bad it was in jail and trying to cajole me into getting him out. Yeah right.

Wasnt working.

He pulled out all the stops. He told me his mother wouldnt do this to him. I told him my son wouldnt have done this to me...lol. He tried telling me I wouldnt leave Jamie in there. I said if Jamie did this to me oh yes I would. LOL. He tried it all. Said he needed to get out to settle his affairs. Say goodbye to his child.

I simply held fast and told him he could do all that on the phone. I was actually giggling at times during this conversation.

I told him I would accept calls 3 times a week from him so he better make them count. The best times would be once during the week and twice on the weekends so he could speak with the baby.

That is the best I can do for him.

[donna723]

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/9-07bravo.gif[/img]

WAY TO GO, JANET! You did great!

He sure covered all the bases, didn't he! There weren't many that he left out! Did he threaten to hold his breath till he turns blue? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/sick.gif[/img] Go out in the yard and eat worms? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek.gif[/img]

It's not so much fun now that it's all finally caught up with him, is it! Maybe now, finally, he'll start to "get it"!

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/9-07bravo.gif[/img]

[Dammit Janet]

Well in the first phone call he threatened to keep the baby from me for "the rest of her life!"...lol. I pointed out that he wasnt in much of a position to make that threat and that it was really between Keyanas mom and us at this particular time since he was otherwise involved at the moment...lol.

He just sputtered.

Dont threaten me with the baby because it simply wont work. Her mom wont allow it. We would be allowed in her life even if he isnt...lol. Her mom knows a good thing when she has it. She has permanent weekend sitters for free that provide for the childs needs. We provide 4 packs of diapers a month, wipes, clothes, food, etc. Why mess that up?

[Suz]

Janet, can you limit the time for these phone calls? Maybe they already have a time limit? His ridiculous phone topics might be somewhat *funny* at this point but they are going to get tiresome and aggravating pretty soon. I know when Rob was at the RTC I refused to listen to bellyaching. In Rob's case I would tell him to whine to his therapist. In Cory's case you could refer him to his public defender. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/1010hammer.gif[/img]

(I just want to smack Cory up one side and down the other at this point- can you tell? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img])

Suz

[gottaloveem]

Hi Janet,
You did good. I remember when Alex was in juvy I got those same phone calls. It must be standard GFG logic when they are locked up or sent somewhere they don't want to be. I am crossing fingers like crazy that this trouble Cory got himself into is the turning point in his life.

Hang in there Janet, you are doing great.

[standswithcourage]

Ditto eveyone!! My son has done the exact same thing to me. Has pulled out all the words that could get next to me and used them well. However, it didnt work anymore. I told him if he didnt like where he was, why does he keep going there and breaking the law. Then he comes up with an excuse that it was all the cops fault. Imagine that! Marijuana is illegal and so is a lot of other things in this world. Good for you Janet. I think the more we can hold up to their stuff the tougher we get and eventually the better they will get. Does that make sense?
Also, when my son was in jail or the correctional facility we got cell phones. Our phone bill was so high from him calling saying how miserable he was that we could barely afford it. I figured the more he could get to me by phone it wasnt helping him stand on his own two feet. So we started writing letters. We would go visit him. That is worse sometimes. Face to face you really have to be tough and not breakdown. One more thing - he has a previous record - l felony - resisting arrest and many misdemenors for possession of marijuana - he has been in front of this judge before - I stood up in court in front of this judge and told them he needed treatment - about 2 years ago - my son does not want me to be in court this time. I wont go. We will see what happens.

[witzend]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dammit Janet</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...it deteriorated into him cussing me out and he hung up on me...lmao. He called me back in short order and apologized telling me I didnt know how bad it was in jail and trying to cajole me into getting him out. </div></div>

"Gee, I guess that makes us even for your not knowing how bad it is to have your son steal your checks and write checks for more money than you have in your bank account so that you have no choice but to report it or get into trouble yourself for something your son did."

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dammit Janet</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> He told me his mother wouldnt do this to him. I told him my son wouldnt have done this to me...lol. He tried telling me I wouldnt leave Jamie in there. I said if Jamie did this to me oh yes I would. LOL. He tried it all. Said he needed to get out to settle his affairs. Say goodbye to his child.</div></div>

(You did very well here, btw! LOL) "Since you knew you would eventually go to jail for this, perhaps you should have said goodbye to his child before the police came and got him."

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dammit Janet</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I simply held fast and told him he could do all that on the phone. I was actually giggling at times during this conversation.

I told him I would accept calls 3 times a week from him so he better make them count. The best times would be once during the week and twice on the weekends so he could speak with the baby.

That is the best I can do for him. </div></div>

I hope you will add that tried and true rule that the phone gets hung up the minute he gets abusive with you. He's the one who's got himself limited to three phone calls a week!

[Dammit Janet]

The calls are time limited by the phone company to either ten or fifteen minutes so he cant ramble but for so long.

He threatened to just call back but I told him I wouldnt accept the call so he backed down...lol. He is figuring out that he doesnt have as much power as he thinks he does. He wants to bluster and moan but that is all he can do. I do have to laugh at him because he was cussing at me and saying how I could get him out and I heard this guy in the background asking him why he was saying that to me...lol. He was trying to justify himself to some convict...lmao. Good lucky buddy.

He will learn.

Im not going to make this easy at all on him. He has to feel the heat to figure out that it isnt what he wants. I do have a friend who is going to send in a prison minister to talk to him which I think will be a good thing. Cory wont know this guy is from us so that will be a plus.

[Big Bad Kitty]

You should be proud of the strength that you are displaying.

When you feel you have spent it all, come on back here and we will send you more. "Standswithcourage", that goes for you as well.

Both of you are in my prayers!!

[standswithcourage]

thanks! I need all the help I can get! I sent preachers in to talk to my son also. I also did that when he was in correctional facility. I think I talked to everyone except the Governor! That is codependent at its worst. Instead of talking to God - I talked to every human being that would listen. This support group here is good for everybody and God knows it. We will just hold each other up.