T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
This is a discussion on T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E. within the Parent Emeritus forum, part of the Parents Support Forum; T.ough O. ld B.road E.meritus or NOT T.ough O. ld B.road E.meritus....(Witz said it first here...but) I'm beginning to believe ...
- 11-30-2009 12:30 PM #1
T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
T.ough O.ld B.road E.meritus or NOT T.ough O.ld B.road E.meritus....(Witz said it first here...but)
I'm beginning to believe Shakespeare may have um...you know, had something else in mind when he said his famous line.
By the way...I'm leaning more towards T.O.B.E. EVERY SINGLE DAY.Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.”
- 11-30-2009 12:46 PM #2
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
Definitely T.O.B.E. - and after last week, preferably with an unlisted phone # and no forwarding address!
Sue, wife of the *almost* perfect man
GFG: Adult son, RTC/TLP placement age 9 to 18, 24+ hospitalizations. BP II, drug use. Poof - he's gone again.
PC's: Adult son w/ cerebral palsy and epilepsy; teen son; tween daughter.
"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
- 11-30-2009 02:53 PM #3
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
Yup. T.O.B.E. That's me!
Me: 41 yrs old "Aspie-lite".
DH: 54 yrs old, love of my life.
Step-D: 33 yr old girl. Brief GFG-stint is over, thank goodness!
GFG: 20 yr old boy. Asperger's, Bipolar, ODD, OCD, Seroquel SR. Lamictal. Not my bio-son, but MY boy. At long-term RTC since 11/01/07
Little PC: 8 yr old boy, SID, Aspie, Anxiety, Asthma, my joy. A goofball, like his mummy.
Tot-monster Girl P: 9 months. Little angel. ASD-ish.
Tot-monster Boy B: 9 months. Also a little angel. Image of Little PC. ASD-ish too.
- 11-30-2009 03:03 PM #4
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
Definitely T.O.B.E. Me too. And getting tougher all the time.
Cast of Characters:
Me (Mary) - 47, stressed, overweight, Effexor XR, Metformin, and now...Ambien!
DH - 49, ADD, Ritalin, married 10 years
GFG (Miss KT) - 18, ADHD/ODD, Ritalin & Risperdal, in college
Son #1 - 28, electrician, doing well
Son #2 - 27, computer guru, married to K, baby girl Maddie
Buddy - my Jack Russell
Four senior cats and three naughty toy panthers
"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
- 11-30-2009 03:52 PM #5
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
Well, I for one, feel wiser and freer of late.
Perhaps I too am getting "tougher" all the time.
I'm just not getting older. hee hee
Come to think of it....I feel a little YOUNGER.
slsh: I make goooood use of caller ID.Two adult children.
One pc, another ....well.....
Never hesitate to seek the advice of your local and licensed mental health professional for you or for your loved one. If you or someone you know has thoughts of suicide or are suffering any other serious or life threatening medical or medically related emergency, please call 911 and/or proceed to the nearest emergency room immediately.

- 11-30-2009 04:42 PM #6
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
I want T.O.B.E. all that I can be!
Me - 47, PTSD, FSH Muscular Dystrophy, Factor V Leiden. DH of 23 years P/A
GFG L - 26 y/o. Grew up with her dad. dx'd ADHD, but much more, no meds. FSH MD. Nannying for now.
GFG M - 23 y/o, dx ODD/CD Axis II, depression, no meds FSH MD. Out of work.
Bubba the Dalmatian, Mandy the Labrador, and Oscar the Aussiedoodle.
"Why wait any longer for the world to begin? You can have your cake and eat it too."
- 11-30-2009 05:36 PM #7
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
TOBE...........we cannot have put all of our strength, resources, and most of our soul into NOT. It will come to fruition sister. It has to.
Hugs.Me - 42 single mom
Depression, Anxiety, PTSD - Lexapro 30mg
GFG - Matt - 19 YO DX with Bi-Polar, NVLD
Lithium 1200, Lamictal 300, Clonidine, Paxil 25
In an adult transitional program in California
"Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall;
A mother's secret hope outlives them all."
Oliver Wendell Holmes
- 12-01-2009 05:26 AM #8
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
I'm currently in transformation from Not tobe to TOBE....
I'll tell ya this......moving with no fwd address, phone or existence is NOT going to be hard.Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.”
- 12-01-2009 01:19 PM #9
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
Have we heard from the kid?
Janet, 48,BP, BPD, Arthritis, Anxiety, Fibro,Post Meningitis syndrome, lamictal, topamax, & xanaxER, Ambien
Tony,47, SO of 27 years
Billy 29 Aspie-lite Computer geek,works at Radio Shack
Jamie 26. ADHD Success Story,US Marine Corps 2/03 - 2/07 as a MP. Animal Control Officer-Now.
Billie Jean 29 Jamies wife
- Hailie born 7/15/07
- Michael born 9/29/09
- Keyana born 6/6/06
- 12-01-2009 05:15 PM #10
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
We DID.....and we (DF and I) rapidly got out the DUCT tape and SHUT OUR OWN mouths. MMM mmmmm mmm and then mmmmm mmm mmm mm m mmm.
Oh I forgot to tell you - HE BROUGHT HOME A new PUPPY -Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.”
- 12-01-2009 06:45 PM #11
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
mmmmm mmjmmm mmmmmml,,,,,mmmmmmm ...a new puppy?....just what you need....mmmmmm mmmmmm and mmmmmm (do you see my bobble head?)
SuzMe: Former moderator. Member since 1999. "Mimi" to beautiful baby girl.
Rob: Age 26. Foster child at 3, adopted at 4. RAD, ODD, ADHD combined-type severe, Drug and Alcohol abuse. Tons of meds- no meds now. RTC then group home. Motorcycle accident 8-2009. TBI/brain bleed. Recovering.
Rescue fuzzbutts: Chloe and Rufus.
Detachment article:
http://www.coping.org/control/detach.htm
"We did the best we could with what we knew...And when we knew more, we did better!" ~ Maya Angelou
- 12-02-2009 08:01 AM #12
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
Hes Home? With a new puppy! Did he bring it home in a car?
Oh god...spill!Janet, 48,BP, BPD, Arthritis, Anxiety, Fibro,Post Meningitis syndrome, lamictal, topamax, & xanaxER, Ambien
Tony,47, SO of 27 years
Billy 29 Aspie-lite Computer geek,works at Radio Shack
Jamie 26. ADHD Success Story,US Marine Corps 2/03 - 2/07 as a MP. Animal Control Officer-Now.
Billie Jean 29 Jamies wife
- Hailie born 7/15/07
- Michael born 9/29/09
- Keyana born 6/6/06
- 12-02-2009 09:27 AM #13
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
Lets see.......You'd think....(erases that with imaginary eraser) That involved the word thinking which involves a brain. This will come of cynical and sarcastic so you've been warned.
Dude now calls x Daddy.
I still call him nothing
Dude said he LOVES FL and wants to move there
I can't believe he wants to go be anywhere near x
Dude brought a puppy home and doesn't have a job
We figure we're destined to raise this kids castoffs
Dude did not get a car -
Daddy just did a few sociopathic well placed tears and poof -ALL is forgiven
Dude's Dad I'm told was more interested in getting high than seeing him
Dude tells the story like Daddy wanted to take him to BushGardens
Dude tells us that Grandma left a huge box of stuff for him on her death -
The box was so wonderful he left it behind
For the life of me I can't figure out what I did WRONG again...I'm being treated like the enemy - AGAIN.....
Daddy must have done his "Men who stare at Goats" mind games again and it still works. ARGH.
DF still thinks that x must have gotten him a freebie from the escort service
I JUST DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THESE THINGS - probably involves that goat too.
Pretty much sums it up.Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.”
- 12-02-2009 10:09 AM #14
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
Maybe the freebie from the escort service was in that box Grandma left...ewww.
I suspect maybe DF is right. Dude wants to go back to FL because of lots of kitties. Magic Daddy provides them free...for now. Eventually Dude will have to work for it.
So sorry. You are right, you will be caring for his castoffs. First dogs, later kids. Its sad.Janet, 48,BP, BPD, Arthritis, Anxiety, Fibro,Post Meningitis syndrome, lamictal, topamax, & xanaxER, Ambien
Tony,47, SO of 27 years
Billy 29 Aspie-lite Computer geek,works at Radio Shack
Jamie 26. ADHD Success Story,US Marine Corps 2/03 - 2/07 as a MP. Animal Control Officer-Now.
Billie Jean 29 Jamies wife
- Hailie born 7/15/07
- Michael born 9/29/09
- Keyana born 6/6/06
- 12-02-2009 03:13 PM #15
Re: T.O.B.E. or NOT T.O.B.E.
If he didn't drive the dog back, how did he it get there?
You can "foster" and place the pup elsewhere, Star. You are under NO OBLIGATION to keep it permanently. This is one of those times when you have to draw the line. I think Lisa did that a couple of times with the strays Nichole brought home. Or, you could do a contract that Dude has to have a job within 30 days to pay rent and the care and feeding for himself and the pup....or you will find a good home elsewhere.
If Dude wants to move in with Hollywood Dad, then have him work off the bus fare (one way ticket) in advance to go back down there. He can take the pup back with him. Honestly, it sounds like Dude is going to have to live with him for an extended period of time before it sinks in what scum he is. Call his bluff. If Dude means it, he's old enough that you have to let him go and hope he comes to his senses. If he doesn't mean it you'll find that out soon enough.
SuzMe: Former moderator. Member since 1999. "Mimi" to beautiful baby girl.
Rob: Age 26. Foster child at 3, adopted at 4. RAD, ODD, ADHD combined-type severe, Drug and Alcohol abuse. Tons of meds- no meds now. RTC then group home. Motorcycle accident 8-2009. TBI/brain bleed. Recovering.
Rescue fuzzbutts: Chloe and Rufus.
Detachment article:
http://www.coping.org/control/detach.htm
"We did the best we could with what we knew...And when we knew more, we did better!" ~ Maya Angelou


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