What would you do?

[Skylark Matrix]

My sister has a pc daughter, age 18, finished school, working, lives at home. housing is very expensive where they are, no hope of pc getting her own place. Pc has had the same boyfriend for over a year, my sister hates him, and he is a loser, 20, no job, no education, no ambition, lives at home. Last weekend pc decided to go stay with the boyfriend (at his parent's farm) for a few days, however my sister thought she had moved out permantly. I spoke with pc (my niece, hope everyone is not too confused here) who says she just wanted to get away for a few days and plans to go back home to live in the next couple of days, and would I talk to my sister about that, because my neice is sort of afraid of the reaction she is going to get. My sister has decided "if you play adult games, you get adult consequences" and won't let her move back home. I don't know how to approach the subject with my sister. I realize the girl did wrong, but I feel like my sister is way to harsh, and this is a NORMAL child who should be allowed to date and have NORMAL priveleges, however, she doesn't my siter is very controlling and I don't know why. I don't want to get a war going, but I feel so bad for my neice who is a very lovely girl.

[goldenguru]

Tough call. Personally, I would try to stay uninvolved. If you go to your sister it may be percieved as you interfering with her parenting.

Your niece left home by her own power ... she should go back home in the same manner ... by her own power.

[busywend]

I would tell the niece that she needs to talk to her mom. She knows how mom is and she should just say I am sorry for whatever started this tiff. Your sister sounds pretty rigid to me.

If it were me I would want the child in my own home before letting her live with a loser BF!

I am betting your sister just wants to make sure niece get the 'lesson' here.

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[everywoman]

I too would advise niece to talk to mom, but other than that I would keep quiet. This is her child. The way she chooses to raise that child is her business as long as she is not abusive. Now if she tells her she can not come home and pc asks to stay with you, I would allow it. Again, I would not solicit advice or say anything to the niece or mom about my personal feelings.