I am 60 years old and still work. My daughter, I love her. She is 29 yrs old, has two small children. She and her husband live about 30 minutes drive from daycare and town. I live about 7 minutes from town in the opposite direction. While her oldest child attends day care, she brings the youngest and comes to my house. I am at work, but have given my permission for them to be here. Recently she has removed some items from my house without telling me. She thinks I won't notice the dresser she took. When I ask her about it she got defensive and said it was hers. I said yes it was hers, but that it would be nice if she told me she was going to take it or ask me if it was ok to take it. This dresser has been at my house for the last 10 yrs. I'm frustrated because we argued about the idea of asking me or telling me she was going to take the dresser, but to take it and never mentioning it. I told her a couple of times that it makes me feel violated when things disappear from my house without some explanation, a note on the table would probably have worked. So we argued this point, then things got nasty and she began berating me and of course that worked and hurt. I ended getting so angry I hung up on her. We won't talk for days and I worry about how it will affect my relationship with my grandchildren.
Usually when I get angry I get really upset and the stress of it makes me ill at least a week later. I don't want to be angry with her. I would dearly love for her to be more forth right and ask me about taking items that are mine and from my house. Being polite and respectful goes a long way. I was a single mom, I worked hard to make her life nice. She married a nice man who works hard, loves her and their two children. I'm am really hurt by our words. I need some advice about my situation and am open to suggestions how to handle this.