I am an adoptive parent who is in the process of adopting a 9 yr old child with ODD and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have never experienced a child with this level of special needs and would like some insight from those of you with experiece in this area.
I know a little about ODD and we see a therapist with him every week. I have also ordered a few books from Amazon.com on the topic. I find that it is easier to learn something, when others have already been in your shoes.
It feels like every time I try to get him to settle down it reengerizes his will to argue and fight. It is like the worlds worst battlefield. I do not want to argue with him, but at the same time I want him to understand that the behavior that he is doing is inappropriate and cannot exist in my home. He yells and kicks doors. I know that this level of tantrum is to be expected. I knew this going into the adoption. I would like to hear some views on how to channel this young lads emotions and to help him understand that he cannot lose control. Also, is there a better alternative than time out for ODD children?
Javon, 9, is one of 3 brothers that we have brought into my home for adoption. His younger brothers are 6, and 4. All 3 have the same mother, but Javon has a different Father. Javon's mother did a lot of drugs while she was pregnant. To top that off, when he was 4, she decided that she could not handle Javon anymore and gave him and the next brother to her grandfather and step grandmother to raise. The grandmother would literally beat till he bled, Javon, for anything that he or Gregory did that irritated them. The youngest brother was born a few years later and we immediately placed in a foster home after Mom placed the baby with the grandparents. A neighbor had had enough and did not want to see anymore happen to the boys.
Javon can be a great kid, he does show affection, but how much is an act we do not know. We suspect much of it is. He is very defiant and anytime something does not go his way or he feels you are controlling him, he lashes out verbally and also physically. He does hit in the stomach and arm Gregory and Devin. Never in the face. He does do a lot of Parenting (trying to raise them, so that he feels the affection of the younger boys) to Greg and Thomas.