Gfg is closer

[Wiped Out]

to hospitalization in my eyes. Today when he was upset he threatened to push me down the stairs again and sprain my other ankle. He didn't do it. I did tell him though that if he ever tried that again he wouldn't be able to stay living with us. I didn't say it as a threat or as a punishment. I told him that if he was going to be unsafe he would need to be somewhere where they could provide him with more help. His answer was why didn't I go so he wouldn't have to?!!He just doesn't get it! He did manage to get through yesterday o.k. thanks to dh who ran lots of interference.

I'm truly getting to the point, where as much as I love him, am wondering how much more of this we can deal with.

[aninom]

Maybe hospitalization would truly be a good thing, not just so you can remain sane and strong for him, but for his own sake as well. He needs a wake-up call that his behavior isn't OK. It really sounds like he's in denial and has lost perspective on how completely unacceptable his violence, his threats of violence, and his notion that the world must bend to his will ("why don't you go so I don't have to").

You shouldn't have to live like this!

[whatamess]

I'm sorry he said that. He really doesn't get it. I'm glad your dh was there to help.

[Shari]

Kudos to Dh, but this is getting scarey.

Do what you must to keep yourself safe. Sending prayers.

[Fran]

I agree that he doesn't get it. Your physical well being doesn't click with him as important. Hope he grows to get it. Good for dh to help protect you. Hospitalization is never punishment but an alternative when gfg's aren't doing well. You are wise to see the difference.

[gcvmom]

What he's verbalizing sounds so out of touch for someone his age. It's like something a toddler would think, and not about someone they're supposedly attached to like a parent. I'm sorry, Sharon. I hope you can get a break, soon. And I hope someone can help him.

[susiestar]

Sharon, this sounds like he really does not have a good grasp of things. Pushing you down the stairs sounds like it is a reasonable course of action to get what he wants, in his mind anyway.

This is a big red warning flag that the situation is ramping up to where he really hurts you. It won't be thought out as in "I am going to kill her. She won't let me and I am so mad and I want to do it so bad that I will kill her. THEN she will let me go."

That sounds like the thinking he is starting to have. Just today he TOLD you to go, so if you stay and get hurt then it is YOUR fault.

I heard quite a few people in Wiz phosp say things like that. NOT in therapy, or while eavesdropping. Just things the kids would say to me or with me in the room.

You and dh should probably start hunting for an outpatient placement very soon. I am so sorry. I know it hurts. But until his thinking can be changed, or he matures out of it, he is getting to be much too big to safely be alone with you.

[Wiped Out]

Thank you everyone, his thinking is so strange these days. On Wednesday when we get back from out of town I will be calling the pdoc. We are leaving this morning for fil's surgery which is Monday morning. We have a prn for the drives (which for him can be very difficult). Once in Michigan we have tons of support and things should be o.k. I'm guessing we may even get a break from him at some point while in Michigan.

[gcvmom]

Have a safe drive. Let us know how it everything goes for FIL.

[totoro]

I'll be thinking about you. You have a lot, too much going on right now.

Hugs, a lot of them