Food Issues

[Jeppy]

My GFG is now having a lot of food issues. He flipped out most recently because a guest who stopped by the house ate one of twelve cracker packs, all individually wrapped so the person's fingers did not touch the food he will be eating. Until recently he was in a diagnostic center but they didn't know how to handle his OCD issues around food so he's back home.

Finally I have been able to get an appointment with a pdoc but it is two months away.

Any words of wisdom for getting through the next couple months?

[smallworld]

Is he taking any meds?

Is he in therapy?

Can you get on the pdoc's cancellation list?

[Jeppy]

On meds - no.
Tdoc - yes, and she is good but even at once a week we could use more support.
Cancellation list - I didn't ask - will have to find out if they have one. I am also waiting to get their new patient packet with forms I must fill out before I go in.

[SRL]

Are the food issues new, or has he had food issues of some kind in the past?

[gcvmom]

There's almost always a cancellation list... just let them know the urgency you have to get him seen so that if something opens up they can work you in. Don't worry if you don't have the packet and it isn't filled out yet. You can always do that in the waiting room!

Will your insurance allow a tdoc visit more than once a week? If so, I'd ask if they have additional openings... or ask if you can have a longer appointment.

[Jeppy]

He's had the food issues for awhile but they have really been getting worse lately and he was losing a lot of weight as a result. Now that he's home he is eating better but it's like he survived a concentration camp or something, he is so possessive about his food. Maybe as he is home longer he will relax a little more.

I know the first visit with the pdoc is a long one. (The pdoc GFG had before left the state so we have to start over.) The tdoc is going to be reviewing testing the school did and maybe arrange for some more in the interim so the pdoc will have that also. So I guess things are being done, I am just impatient.

[ML]

Nothing to add except I know what you're going through and I am praying they have a cancellation and you can get in sooner. Hugs, ML

[smallworld]

When you say he is possessive about his food, what do you mean?

Is it possible just to give him the food he wants until he can get into the appointment with the pdoc? I wouldn't get into any food battles until he gets treatment.

[susiestar]

I am sorry you are going through this. We had a lot of OCD problems with Wiz. Possessiveness about food was one, esp after he came home from the phosp. The phosp had mostly unlimited food as long as the kids ate it and they were not majorly overdoing it, which Wiz did for a while.

When he came home we had to decide to either give in and let him have his food to himself, with no one allowed to touch it or to let him have just a few items that were just his and the rest were shared no debate allowed.

We chose to let him pick two items of food that were HIS. One could be a sweet or treat and we only purchased one serving per day. If he ate them all in one day then he was out for the week. He did try to blame his sibs for eating his food, guests, even dh and I, but we knew it was not the case. Regardless he did NOT get more unless we saw the other person eating the food AND knew that gfg did not offer it. If he offered to share he had to check with us first or no replacements. (This was tried to get us to keep more of the item in the house so he could go through our room and break into locked containers to search for more.)

The other food item was one he could have anytime, much as he wanted. It was something that the rest of the family did not have so it generally was a fruit or veggie that most of us did not eat. It was "his" and his alone. If it wasn't what he really wanted, well, that was OK with us. He still had it to fill his "mine mine mine" need.

ALL other foods had to be shared. No debates/discussions were allowed. If he started he got sent to another room or was given a task to do. Period. I didn't want every conversation to revolve around this and he would have if allowed to. Sometimes I had to bluntly say "You are not allowed to discuss this. Change topics, be silent, or leave."

If we bought something with 10 items in it, say a package of indiv pizzas, he would decide that 2 of them, at least, were HIS. Often he thought more were "his", but this was based on him deciding that one or more of us really did not want/need them - NOT on reality. I would purposely give him less, or give another person more than what he decided was "fair". It sounds mean, but was designed to help him get out of the way of thinking that every item that came in had 1/5 that was his. B/c if he didn't get his portion he would have a huge rage or tantrum.

I just didn't want him to get to the point that everything we brought in had to have some set aside for him. Life doesn't work that way.

The whole thing wasn't fun, but it did work. Time and patience and eventually he learned that he is not entitled to a set amount of everything that is purchased. Unless HE purchases it or it is specifically purchased for him to have.

The hardest part was refusing to discuss it. I would tell him he was arguing, or justifying (telling me why it should be his way), or whatever. He was not allowed to justify or debate if we made a decision. Not at all easy to be consistent over, but it DID give us more peace than we had in years after about 2 months of getting the hang of it.

Maybe this will give you some ideas to help with this. I am sorry that OCD issues are a problem. SSRI meds can help if he can take those. They do with Wiz.

[Jeppy]

Thanks susiestar. I appreciate everyone's responses but yours is especially helpful. I will try these ideas out.