Found gfg's birthmother

[Nancy]

The agency contacted her to see if she wanted to reconnect and she said yes. She is basically homeless, has been divorced twice and recently gotten out of an abusive relationship. She was living in a shelter but a friend took her in and she is working in a factory. She was told about the struggles we are having with gfg and her comment was "well it is genetic." She is going to write gfg a letter and we will communicate via email until we arrange a meeting with gfg.

I made it clear to the social worker that I only had gfg's best interest at heart and that I didn't want to do anything that would stop forward progress. However based on the fact that gfg has been smoking pot basically every night and not coming home until the next day tells me that we don't have much to loose right now.

The social worker feels that this meeting may be good for gfg and that she may decide she doesn't want that type of life. I'm not so sure but I guess we are going to find out.

Nancy

[Shari]

Hopefully the SW is right. Short of throwing her out on her own, tho, you don't have a lot of other options...hopfully this will make her see the ramifications of her choices. Hugs.

[ThreeShadows]

Oh, Nancy, you really know I share some of your feelings and experiences. This is huge. Much love to you and your DH. I hope she can find the best path for herself so she can stop blaming you and the adoption for all her problems.
Mega hugs.

[TerryJ2]

Wow.
Best of luck. This should be interesting.
I would be interested in hearing what the bmom has to say.
Finger's crossed!

[Nomad]

I am concerned. A friend of mine went through something super similar. The results were mixed. Wishing you and your gfg the very best of luck. Sending positive vibes...good thoughts...prayers...well wishes. Hugs for you Nancy...it's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.

[Fran]

Considering how bad things are, I think meeting bio won't hurt.

[KTMom91]

Hope the communication is a plus for gfg, and helps her see what you're doing for her in a positive light.

[busywend]

Keeping fingers crossed this goes in a positive direction!

HUGS!

[LittleDudesMom]

Nancy,

I know your feelings must be really mixed right now. I would be thinking both options are possible - gfg could see what she doesn't want to be or she could pull up a chair and start partying with bmom.

Unfortunately, there is the powerless factor in this situation. You don't have any.

Mega hugs, support, and positive thoughts being sent yor way. I hope sociology wins over biology.

Sharon

[Star*]

Nancy,

Three shadows took the words right out of my mouth verbatim. My heart hurts for you and my thoughts are with your daughter. "It is genetic!?" What a narcissistic statement -She hasn't heard about a child she gave birth to in years and THAT is the statement she makes when she finds out the struggles she's had? WOW....(shakes head - WOW) the pity train hasn't pulled out of the station yet. All aboard. Wow. Repeat what three shadows said - AGAIN.

You're quite a woman to do this for your child.