Frustrated

[SnowAngel]

My family thinks I don't discipline my children enough and that is why my 9 yr old is out of control.He is a real challenge for me.I tried explaining to the school about his behavior and I felt it was left on deaf ears.

My 9 yr old runs the house.I wake up and within 20 minutes he is hitting,yelling,throwing things,breaking his glasses,spitting in the other kids' cereal bowls and being absolutely disrespectful.In July he tried stabbing himself and then tried jumping off my balcony.The crisis center said that because he was eating a hot dog when I called it was not a crisis.A month latter he attacked my 10 yr old and left his chest,legs,arms and back bloody from his nails.He was admitted for 23 hour observation..but they never saw any mood changes.They did say he shows no remorse.His doctor said I had to stay with him 24/7.I ended up loosing my job.I also lost our apartment and had to move in with my mother who is raising 3 grandkids(Who are ODD,Mood Disorder and 1 MR)with her husband.My son also had a bad reaction to Abilify and it temporarily paralized half his body.The doctor put him on Seroquel and he had a milder reaction so they added the Benztropine.My ex cant seem to understand and doesnt even try to obtain more information about the disorders.He says he cant understand something he doesnt have.I get so mad because I dont get out by myself.I dont have friends because the ones I had criticized me for doing everything wrong.I am fighting the school to test my boys but it takes time as they say.We moved to a different county so my sons services he was receiving are not going to transfer to his new doctor.I know I am extremely lucky to have 6 children but this roller coaster can stop anytime now.

[AllStressedOut]

Wow! I wish I knew what advice to give. The only thing that comes to mind is an ER visit for him to be admitted into the psych area. I'm so sorry for what you're going through! I know how hard it is with 6 kids, half GFGs. I'm lucky, we're going through a good spell right now. You found a great board for support!

[nvts]

Well, you have a support system now! It's really pretty slow on the weekends but more will stop to say hi!

If you have school questions, hop on the Special ed forum! They can help out a lot!

I'll write tomorrow, (when there's nobody driving me nuts!).

Welcome to the club!!

Beth

[SnowAngel]

Thank you so much.It gets so overwhelming at times.I just dont understand why people on the outside are so quick to judge.My kids are extremely challenging every day.I had a counselor ask me if there was some place I could take him because of his behavior.She kept on and on about how inappropriate his behavior is.Duh,I guess she thought I was on vacation during his crazy moments.She even asked if I would consider foster care.I was so angry.

[AllStressedOut]

Before I had my GFGs, I was one of those ignorant parents living in the bliss I didn't appreciate that was all PC. It took me having my own GFGs and doing my ****dest to parent them the way I thought they needed, structure, strict discipline, solid back bone, yada yada yada. I've had my GFGs for a little more than 4 years now and while they have improved greatly, they're still GFGs.

Next time someone like that says something to you, try to remember they live in a perfect world with easy children for a reason. God knew better than to give them kids like ours because he knew they couldn't handle them!

I think about people who've done things with their lives that are amazing who had mental disorders. Abraham Lincoln had severe depression. Beethoven and Van Gogh were bipolar. More recently, and I just love this guy with his adorable dimples, but the guy who plays Sonny Corenthos on General Hospital is bipolar in real life and in the show, they wrote it in after he made it known to the public. Many think Albert Einstein was autistic.

[TerryJ2]

Hi Desari, wow, 6 kids! I am so sorry about your 9-yr0old Gfg running the house. He's pretty wild. At least you found one dr willing to give him meds, even if they're not the best ones right now. Do you have child psychologist to help you both? Will Gfg go w/you to appts? (At the beginning stages, bribery works well, but you can't do it forever.) My Gfg has calmed down a lot but it has taken yrs of effort. He's only been on Adderal and it really, really helps. W/o it, he's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, very much like your son. It sounds like your 9-yr-old's ADHD is not under control, in addition to his other mood disorders, and that since he's so innattentive, behavior modification isn't going to go anywhere. Our Gfg finally started to learn once he was on his meds, so even when he's off of them (only 1 day at a time!), it's still a lot better than it was a yr ago. A lot of it is about consistency and consequences, as well as our own behavior and not overreacting.
What is your routine in the morning? How do you react when he spits into the other kids' cereal bowls?
I don't see by your bio that you're on anything. I hate to push meds, [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img] but I'd recommend it for you at this point. You really have your hands full, and so does your mom, and you can't afford to lose any ground.
Stay w/us here ... there are a lot of experienced people and this is a welcome place.

[Hound dog]

Welcome [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/flower.gif[/img]

I'm so glad you found us.

You certainly have your hands full. I'm not sure I could manage 6 pc's. lol

Hang in there. You've landed in a truely great place.

(((hugs)))

[Kjs]

wow, you have your hands full. Be sure to visit spec. ed. forum for school advice.

We have tried several different meds before finding one that works for us. Still gfg, just more managable. Definately has his moments. (days)

Hope you get some relief, and some time for yourself.

Many wise warrior moms will be along to give you great advice. Hang in there.

[smallworld]

Clearly, your GFG is not stable and needs intensive help. Has his Depakote blood level been measured recently? If it's not in a therapeutic range, it might not be helping. Furthermore, it might not be the right mood stabilizer, or he might need a second mood stabilizer to augment. Please talk to the prescribing doc about the problems he's experiencing. Is your GFG in therapy?

[busywend]

Welcome! Your 9yo GFG sounds like a handfull for sure. I do not think you should be so angry about the foster care comment. It is not a permanent placement. Some foster care homes are specifically set up help GFGs. It may not be fair to your other children to keep him in the same household. Look what they have already had to give up due to his behavior. They are going to start resenting him.

Is Dex a responsible guy? Perhaps GFG could stay with him for a spell. He sure would get to see what you are talking about then. Maybe not right away, but within 6 months he would be showing his true self to dad. Are there kids in dad's household?

Seriously, your other children are being abused by him - perhaps you are, too.

Nobody should have to live that way. And he should not have to look back on his childhood years and realize as an adult what he did to you all as a child.