Hi! I'm new to the forum.

[GottaLoveEm!]

I'm joining forum to learn coping skills for 9 year old ADHD boy. (Or for me!!)

[Wiped Out]

Gottalovem,
Welcome-glad you found us-you will find much support here! You are not alone.

[GottaLoveEm!]

Thanks Wiped Out! I'm glad I found you too. Last week I had to have my DH come home to deal with tantrum. (9 year old GFG). I am hoping I can take a time out here instead and possibly get some new ideas. He's had many Dx, but we're mostly dealing with angry outbursts and defiant behavior right now. It intensifies after being disappointed by bio mom. (In jail this week.)

[crazymama30]

Welcome!! The best coping skill I have found for me is to have a good outlet for stress. I either work out or shoot my bow. Lately it has been working out, and I tend to go untill I almost drop and then shower and feel better.

[Calgon_Take_Me_Away]

Welcome ~ I'm fairly new here, too, but learning as I go.

My best coping skill ..... house cleaning lol (maybe it's more of a stress reducer) It could be Tylenol, too.

[Andy]

Hi there! I love your Avatar! So fun and determined!

What meds are your son on, if any? Some here will know if they increase the negative behavior.

Do you have an out? A way to leave kids at home and just do your own thing - even once a month? Join a health club, a community organization, take a class, go shopping, gather some friends for a girl's night out to dinner and a movie?

[GottaLoveEm!]

Thanks for the welcome. I DO need an outlet for stress, I'm just so tired at the end of each day!! I am homeschooling GFG3 because the alternative is a "special class" that I don't think is appropriate. I am hoping we can integrate back into school once we get meds figured out. I also have a feeling that he needs the one-on-one attention due to abandonment/instability of bio mom. Thoughts anyone?

[GottaLoveEm!]

Adrianne,
Thanks for your reply! He has been Dx ADHD since about 3 years old, with most effective reported Rx being Adderall 15mg am and 10 mg pm. He was recently (before coming to my home) in Residential and D/C all meds and started on Abilify (Which did NOTHING for him) due to family history of bi-polar. Now he is being re-evaluated by new Doc, and back to Adderall, but XR this time-gradually increasing probably to 20 mg, with Clonidine to help with symptoms of Adderall.

Oh, I am active in church and have a "Ladies Lunch" with friends once a month. The Summer has really cut into my own time this year and I'm hoping when school starts it's a little less stressful. (Probably wishful thinking!!)

[Andy]

Since nights might not work, how about a weekend morning or entire day? Can DH handle the homefront once a month as you find alone time on a Saturday?

A pampering day - get your hair done, your nails done, a make over and then go shopping for one new outfit? (Maybe a sitter can watch the kids for a dinner with DH?)

A window shopping day -

A hobby day - scrapbooking stores often have back rooms that you can work on your pictures.

A gym day - swimming, workout, etc.

Garage sales day - might find some inexpensive school clothes for the kids.

Trip to the library just for complete quiet uninterrupted reading -


As for one on one time - all kids can use as much as they can - just make sure siblings don't start resenting because they will not understand if they notice he gets more one on one time.

[MidwestMom]

Hi there. Welcome.
Ok...questions.
Did you adopt this child and, if so, at what age?
Did his biological mother drink or use drugs (or both) while she was pregnant? Was he abused? Thrown around from person to person? There is something most older adopted kids suffer from--attachment issues. It requires more than meds and is harder to work with than ADHD, but can manifest with or as ADHD.
Do you know if there are any psychiatric problems on his family tree on either side? These can be inherited so they can give you a clue as to what is going on...(Ok, I just re-read. With the history of bipolar, I think you need to consider he may have THAT. IF so, Adderall will likely make him worse...as will all ADHD meds, including Straterra...)
What behaviors are you seeing?
Do you know how his early development was? How is his eye contact, imaginative play, interactive play with peers? Can he transition well? Any sensitivities to sound, light, food, textures? Does he have an odd, repetitive mannerisms or vocalizations, such as high pitched screeches or silly mouth noises? Is he affection, cuddly?
What type of doctor diagnosed him? Here in the US, NeuroPsychs are very popular (and good) diagnosticians. They test for many long hours and look into everything. I don't know if you have that option in Canada. If so, take it!
The more you tell us, the more we can help. I'm a layperson, like all of us, but I'm guessing that, with his background, more is going on than ADHD. Are all of your kids adopted? I have adopted four children.
Welcome aboard!