HIGH, high, anxiety

[wakeupcall]

WHY is this happening? OK, puberty....or not. We just spent gfg's spring break in MA visiting our daughter and our four grandchildren. Gfg was horrible. Ruined our whole trip, but what do I do? I have another child (my daughter) that I see maybe twice a year along with my four grandkids. Should we not be able to see them at all? NO, there's no one who would care for gfg for longer than a couple of hours and even that is hard to find. Gfg cried every day and sometimes many times a day. He picked and argued not only with me (as like every day), but with my daughter and the children. We stayed in a motel at night to keep him away from everyone for a few hours. He had me to himself at that time. It's SO stressful. I don't know if he's depressed (no one wants to give him an AD because of what it COULD do), or is he just a royal backside?

THEN we come home and take him to the livestock show and rodeo and a concert of Brooks and Dunn. He was crying, CRYING, because we stopped at $40 of helping him throw those dumb basketballs at the (trick) basketball hoops at the carnival part of the rodeo so he could win a stuffed animal (for cripes sake...he's TWELVE!!!). Then we went to the concert and he got up fifteen times for one reason or another...you know, had to scoot past all these people's legs and make them stand up so he could get by.

I just want to CRY!!! Today dh decided to take him fishing....he CRIED because his fishing line was tangled and that was BEFORE he got into the car to even GO fishing.

Yes, I guess his anxiety is worse since adding the Geodon. Can Geodon have that kind of an effect when added to the Lithium? I'm sooooo stressed I want to run away.....again. One of these days I'm afraid I'm going to act on it. DH feels the same way....he wants to run away. NO hour of our day is pleasant. He's always griping and complaining or crying about something. When does this stop????

[pepperidge]

Pamela

I am so sorry for your trip. It is horrible, when the constant whining crying and anxiety ruin everything. BTDT.

I forget now what meds you have tried. But I have one son that suffers a great deal from anxiety, depression (which manifests itself as irritability). He has been helped a great deal by Lamictal, also with a small dose of Risperdal twice a day. He also takes Adderall which makes him far more cooperative.

I guess that this point and I am sorry not to know your history, I wonder if all the meds are helping. I know that Tenex (like Clonidine) made my other son really tired and irritable. And that son reacts really badly to any stimulant (crying, higher anxiety etc). He can however tolerate a small dose of Abilify which has helped tremendously with impulsivity and argumentativeness.

All I can say is that it stinks and I hope you find an effective med combination- SOON! I know the drain it is.

P.

[smallworld]

Pam, I'm sorry. What a rough way to spend spring vacation.

According to The Bipolar Child, Geodon " . . . can induce an odd kind of overarousal (this may be seen at lower doses and not higher doses; however, a number of parents have written to us about anxiety and maniclike reactions to the drug)." I'm wondering if that's what's going on with your GFG.

Has your GFG ever tried Seroquel? We were scared to death to try any AP because GFG1 had a dystonic reaction to Risperdal. However, Seroquel has been just the ticket for GFG1. He is easier to live with than he has been in years.

Call the pdoc tomorrow about the Geodon. And I hope he offers you a better alternative.

[daralex]

Pam,
Just wanted to extend some big ((HUGS)) and say sorry this potentially momentous occasion became momentous for other reasons. Sounds like you need a break badly!!! Does gfg attend any kind of summer program so you could travel for a few days without him? I have no experience with the meds but really just wanted to send a smile your way!
-Dara

[Sara PA]

He's on twice the highest recommended dose of Focalin. Anxiety is one of the most common side effects of Focalin. Add the Geodon to that, it's not surprising he has high anxiety.

[dreamer]

It must be awful for him to feel this way. Poor kid, and then it spills to everyone around him.....thats so sad. I am sorry.
My kids, all 3 of them- they L(OVED feeding games at carnival, did not matter how old they are or how poor the chances they would win, or what the prize is. Altho, yes, all my kids still do like stufffed animals. So does PCs boyfriend. We got around that probelm by simply not GOING to the games or to the carnivals. (not to mention the cost to take 3 kids, especially when you are trying to raise kids while on disability, WHEW-) Oh don't get me wrong, "I" LOVE a carnival, I LOVE all the bright lights and constant energy and commotion, BUT even nn GFGs can find it too stimulating. And I doubt anyone would disagree, whew are they EXPENSIVE. Sooooo... we filed going to carnivals into some file same as we filed attending bonfires when they aggravate one of the kids allergies....simply not do-able for us right now.
As for Geodon? My GFG took one low dose- just one- and it tipped her anxiety and mania so hard and fast it made MY head spin. And THAT scared her.

As for your visit with your dtr? and grandkids? I know visits with my mom were very difficult for all of us, becuz when I had my kids, my mom still had a young child of her own. (my brother is almost 28 years younger than me) My kids wanted her to be "gramma" and my youngest brother wanted her to be "HIS" mommy......and it made a rough time for everyone. We had to learn to find creative ways to get together in various groups so as everyone could enjoy special time with each other. If I wanted a visit with MY mom, as mom-dtr- I had to find a way to get together with my mom MINUS all HER kids and all MY kids. If we wanted my mom to spend "gramma" time with my kids- my mom found a sitter for her son. If I wanted to spend time with MY littlest brother (and I DID want to- and so did he) I got a sitter and spent time with just him. There were occasions when either me or my mom DID spend time with JUST the kids so the kids could have their time, too, as uncle and neices/nephews....

I know there were times my kids felt jealous that they had an uncle so close to their age with whom they had to share their gramma with, and I know without a doubt my little brother REALLY had a hard time shareing his mom with her grandkids. My kids had the mindset that my brother got to have their gramma every day, and so my kids wanted their young uncle to defer to them. Well, my young brother had the mindset hey, this is MY mom....she belongs to ME, I don't WANT to share my mom with YOU guys.
My mom maybe could have handled the whole thing a little better sometimes.....no matter WHAT was going on- she ALWAYS tended to my youngest brother FIRST.and littlest brother KNEW she would and I can tell you- he did very often "frame" all the grandkids - he would break something of his and blame grandkids (We also had another brother close to my age who also had 3 kids close in age to our youngest brother) He would tease the grandkids, and hurt them, and then come running if they defended themself. LOL- little brother admits it NOW...but alas, our mom is now gone. Mom always defended it to me saying "I am a Mother first" She never once permitted any grandchildren sleepovers, even when she did not live close by -never once fed a single one of her grandkids, never ever babysat not even for one hour....Sadly, now that she is gone, it has left my youngest brother in an akward position, he was 19 when she died (11 when his dad died) and becuz of how he treated grandkids none of the grandkids were very willing to be very "loving" after mom died. Mom maybe should have let us adult kids spend more time with our youngest brother and she maybe should have at the same time spent more time with the grandkids. But mom was insistant- her role as Mother came before any other role. :-(

Maybe next time you visit your adult child, maybe SHE can go somewhere with your youngest child and you can do something with your grandkids- seperate. and if you want to spend time with just your daughter- maybe both her and you can hire seperate babysitters for a few hours and spend that time together?

Oh how I love a good concert- we have begun to go to the free ones at the county fairs where we can sit on blankets or on lawn chairs, in a circle- where if the kids are antsy it does not disturb anyone.

[wakeupcall]

I could say ditto to most everything you said, Dreamer. The hardest part is that our daughter lives in MA and we live in TX, so it's hard to spend any individual time with them when we're only there five days in the first place. My grandchildren (ALL of them) are very close to me and I agree that gfg is jealous when we are visiting, but you would think at twelve he could handle it just a little! Our daughter wants no time alone with him....she wasn't the least bit thrilled when we adopted him in the first place. She's kind enough to him, but like many others, has very little patience. This last visit I even thought to myself that the next time maybe dh and I should go one at a time and the other stay home with gfg....BUT I'm afraid dh and gfg would come to blows without my constant intervention. *Sigh*

Dh and I have never had our parents to babysit even when we lived in the same town....they babysat NONE of the three. They weren't interested. You know the story, "I took care of mine and you can take care of yours..." line? We didn't go to the rodeo/carnival/concert last year and I guess we goofed at thinking he'd grown up since we last went.

Gfg needs us.......for sure. I am a mother and like yours, I guess he has to come first and foremost because he has a disability. My other children had no disability, thank goodness.

[Steely]

So sorry for everything. Believe me when I say, I too, have BTDT.

It really sounds like he is suffering from some pretty intense depression/anxiety. I think I would call pdoc and see if a med switch is in order.

As Sara says he is on twice the designated amount of Focalin which can make him over aroused. As well as the possibility of Geodone causing similar issues. The other thing that was mentioned is switching the Geodone for Lamictal which is supposed to really help with the depression/anxiety stuff.

Also, another thought is that when gfg is stable with his moods, there is the possibility of adding just a small dose of an anti-depressant to the mix to help with the anxiety. WIth my gfg, after we had established mood stability with Lamictal and Lithium, we added Paxil - and it seemed to truly help his whole mood come together and finally be smoother than it had been his whole life. (Not that it is perfect by any stretch - just better)

Sending big hugs. Sorry things are so rough. Sounds like gfg is just as miserable as you are - call the pdoc!

[Big Bad Kitty]

When Tink was on Focalin, she got MEAN. And that was on a very low amount.

So sorry for your stress and heartache. Gentle hugs.

[totoro]

I can't remember if K tried Geodon at the moment, I know we considered it... When K was ever on a bad combo or too high or any mix that was just not right, (which was constant) I found it was SO hard on her, we could not do anything. SHE RUINED anything we did...
Between the junk they are dealing with in their own heads and add a possible med issue. It is hard on everyone.
I have found her first symptom to emerge is always anxiety and then defiance... Then it just gets worse.
At times it was so hard to tell if it was just her or if it was truly med related? You know.
Now that she is off of all meds I do see that the wrong meds were making it worse...
I just want to hug her at times and make it all better... yet she is raging so bad or so angry and destroying things. It makes you just want to crack them upside the head instead!!! And then when they have the irrational anxiety on top of it... is it just so draining.
They have no clue how much we give. Such a fricken thankless job.
I would check the meds and med combo... hang in there.