I Think I Made a Mistake

[Stella Johnson]

I think I should have let them uproot gfg for the 5th time last year. I got my way and she got to stay in the school she is in but without her sped class. She uses Resource instead.

First it was the camp thing. On top of them telling me lies about the camp (to get me to say she couldn't go), now gfg is coming home telling me she doesn't want to leave me for 3 days. Gfg has never cared about leaving me for any length of time for fun things. Someone put this in her head. She goes to camp every summer. She knows what camp is. (I posted about this last week)

Gfg was in Student Council last year. This year her regular ed teacher never even sent anything home about it. I had no idea until gfg came home crying on Thursday that she didn't get to run and they had already voted.

The kid that she called her "boyfriend" last year is still in this school. First he brought a porn magazine to school a couple of weeks ago and showed it to gfg. She told me, talked to the school, and they said they search him daily and that wouldnt' have gotten past them. Yea right. Gfg described it in great detail. I assure you, she saw it.

Next same kid started to tell her what he thinks "sex" is. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/scared.gif[/img] She came home and told me so I talked to the teachers. The teachers told him he had to break up with gfg. So he did. Now he's ignoring her and she's crying again. I wanted them to "break up" but my heart breaks for gfg. She doesn't have many friends in her class this year.

Her regular ed teacher this year doesn't seem as involved as her 4th grade teacher. In 4th grade the teacher made an extra effort to help gfg fit in. Doesn't seem like this one does much of anything to help her. Seems she goes out of her way to leave her out.

I have to get her private school next year somehow. I just can't keep doing this. She did so well last year. The support was tremendous. That's why I wanted her to stay at this school again this year. Big mistake

Steph

[susiestar]

I am sorry. My pc had such a hard time in 4th we moved her in 5th. I hated to do it, as she had been in the previous school since 1st, but I jsut had to do it. It was a pretty good thing.

Have you asked the teacher why she is trying to leave gfg out? Your gfg is so special, I hate to tear the school is being a problem again.

Hugs,

Susie

[totoro]

You just scared the *%&$*% out of me!!! I am NOT showing this to DH... I have no words... I am so sorry. We are already thinking homechools sounds good... or yes private.... but does that guarantee anything? We have done 3 privates so far. UGH

[MidwestMom]

Private schools are often worse for gfgs. They don't have to accomodate kids with problems. We had a hideous time in Catholic School, and they TRIED to help, but they didn't have the staff, and, to be honest, they didn't understand at all. Does you child haven an IEP?

[meowbunny]

I definitely would not consider private school unless it is one geared to special needs children. They do not have to follow an IEP and frequently won't even consider any suggestions from a previous IEP. The staff does not have the training to deal with a child that can be out of control. The parents do not want the classes disrupted by one child on a regular basis and are not very understand -- they are paying for their child to have a better education.

I'm sorry her teacher is not supporting her but this is pretty typical in 5th grade. Teachers are trying to help kids get ready for middle school and changing classes and the like. They are less hands on. I would, however, be concerned about the notices being missing. I do find it odd about the class election -- those are usually well announced before taking place. Do you have any idea how your daughter could have missed it?

[mattsmum]

I am so sorry. My gfg did not have a great experience in 2nd grade. Who they have for a teacher can make all the difference in the world! All I can say is, if she is on an IEP or 504, the teachers are legally obligated to follow the IEP/504. Stay on top of them and, if necessary, work your way up the chain of command.

[Jessica mom of 2]

AMEN. to what the majority said.

[DDD]

If you analyzed it out and opted for a choice...then don't kick
yourself. You made the best choice you could make with the information (or expectations) that you had "at THAT time".
Jumping to private school is not a guarantee of happiness, acceptance or achievement. That's what makes being a Warrior Mom so blankin' difficult. ALL you can do is make the best
choice that you can witht eh information that you have "at THAT
time".

I hope it improves soon. Hugs. DDD

[neednewtechnique]

My 5 year old attended a private school that has a great preschool program and we had GREAT LUCK with their program. (Although she is not Dx'ed yet, she begins the evaluation process on Monday!! *yeay*)

I think the key is to find one that centers around helping the kids, and probably not a Catholic one. (no offense to anyone who is catholic, but I know that they run their schools pretty strictly, and that can be a good thing for some kids, but probably not for many of our gfgs).

The one that she attended was in a protestant church, and they happily took her, knowing that she had some behavior problems, and she definitely kept them on their toes!! But the really wonderful part of the experience, was that even after they dealt with her for 2 and a half years during preschool, temper tantrums and all, they still begged me all summer to bring her back for Kindergarten!! They really seemed to have a heart for the "challenging" kids, and all her teachers, the other teachers, the assistant director, and the headmistress were all so sad to see her go on to public school, and still call me every once in a while to see how she is doing and ask me to bring her back!

I don't know what kind of area you live in, but if you have several private schools to choose from, set up appointments to talk with them about their program, and ask them if they have anything for a child with a need for special attention, and if you don't get a good feeling from the response, cross them off your list. If you can narrow it down to one or two that you would consider as a possibility, try to see if you can set up a meeting with them and your child, and see what kind of vibe you get from your child. Believe it or not, this is really the best way to choose. Kids have a certain intuition that adults grow out of at some point, and you can learn a LOT about a place, just by watching how your daughter reacts to the place. This is how my husband and I have always chosen daycare for our kids, we would narrow it down to one or two choices, and just see how they reacted in each environment.

If you don't decide to go the private school route, I would say you need to get in touch with your SD's district superintendant and find out what options you have for getting your gfg the help they need.

[Hound dog]

Steph

If gfg has an IEP, call a emergency meeting. This current set up is NOT working for her at all. No sense in her spending the entire school year miserable.

((((hugs))))