Increased frustration - meds, people, combo of both?

[LittleDudesMom]

I mentioned in the morning post that gfg had another frustration incident in school yesterday. Nothing for the record books or even warrant a visit to the office, however his new special ed teacher "made" the 1:1 take him down.

So, I have noticed, since the ad was totally dropped about two weeks ago, that his anger fuse has shortened some. Just a reminder, gfg was on 30mg of remeron. This summer we began the taper. He was totally removed a couple weeks ago. Within four days he had his first incident at school.

Now, I'm realistic enough to not allow one incident to rule my thinking. However, this was more than any issues this year. The next day, he had another. And, I have noticed an "edge" to gfg over the last 10 days - 1:1 has noticed a "lack of interest" over the last 10 days.

When I went to pick him up yesterday, his 1:1 said his special ed teacher wanted to talk to me. He told me that she insisted that gfg go to the office yesterday afternoon even though 1:1 told her he had it and they would be fine.

When I sat with her, she did two things that raised my mommydar. Frist, she said to me that she was not here to fight with my son or deal with his anger, she was here to teach. Excuse me, you are a special ed teacher who has a number of behavior issue kids in your class. You are going to have to learn to deal from time to time.

She asked me what was the best thing to do when he got angry. I told her that when he was angry, any additional talking to him was heard by him as "blah, blah, blah." The the first thing was allow him time to gather himself together. He has gotten really good at "chillin" for five or ten minutes, then coming right back and being fine. "Oh, I thought so", she said.

Secondly she said "We really need to have a plan in place for when he gets upset" Hello, have your read his IEP which includes a BIP and have you noticed he has a 1:1. It's covered mam.

So then, gfg, who I had sent to sit on a sofa by the gym, returns. She immediately begins to talk to him about his behavior, and his facial expressions, and how unfair he is being to the class. Meanwhile, gfg is backing up into a potted tree (fake) and closing down. I actually stepped in between and said "Ok, it's time to go. Why don't we include 1:1 in p/t conferences next week and the three of us can discuss strategy."

Anyway, I called the principal to let him know that, in my opinion, she needs to take the time to read gfg's IEP, allow 1:1 to do his job, and "get out of gfg's face". He was supportive.

So, in conclusion!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm kinda thinking that, even though there is the newness and the learning curve with his new special ed teacher, perhaps he was continuing to be helped by the low dose of ad. I put him back on a 1/4 dose yesterday.

Thanks for listening to my ramble.

Sharon

[houseofcards]

I share your frustration with some sp ed teachers, they seem to be trained much better in the skills of LD's and MR then behavior problems, which is puzzling because it would seem that those problems can cause behavior problems as well. Wish I handled things as well as it sounds like you did.

[timer lady]

Sharon,

The med may have helped GFG even out. Special ed teacher seems to have a "short fuse" combined with little understanding of GFGs needed interventions.

You're right - she is a special ed teacher; she's supposed to know.

I hope with the conference & the addition of the medication that things even out for GFG.

BTW, remeron was a very useful medication for kt for quite a long time. As she hit puberty it became ineffective for her.

Okay, now I'm rambling ... keep up the good work. You know your son best. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/warrior.gif[/img]

[Allan-Matlem]

Hi,
Here is a quote from Jane Nelsen
Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children DO better first we have to make them FEEL worse? When people first hear this quote from “Positive Discipline,” they usually laugh as they think about how it doesn’t make sense. However, when it comes to application, it seems that parents, teachers, and students have difficulty accepting that people do better when they feel better.

We have a saying - a positive deeds breeds further good actions , the reward of a good deed is another good deed. When he has gone off track , we have to help him get back on , not make him feel worse

Don't these teachers understand that for all people criticism and punishment just make people antagonistic. It is so much easier if she would get him on her side with empathy and try come up with a plan instead of sending him to the principle. Alfie Kohn wrote an article - ' Discipline is the problem , not the solution . The kid may be only a part of the problem.
I hope the principle can get through to her

Allan

[Fran]

There is a strange mentality of some adults that they have to get control of kids as opposed to helping kids learn control. It's a tactic similar to making them submissive and break their spirits like wild horses.
Hopefully, she is enough of a professional to take the time to read and learn. Taking a child down (I'm assuming is a therapeutic hold) seems excessive force for his action. Am I reading that correctly?

I don't know what the med does in 1/4 dose but if he is struggling, it may help him over this rough period.
There is nothing worse than seeing a kid shut down because he can no longer take the verbal assault to his person. It's when you know the adult has gone too far. (I have done it and I have seen it-I try hard to not repeat the behavior)
Submissiveness is not what any parent should strive for in a child.

[hearts and roses]

Sharon, I too have dealt with the same types of behavior by gfg's special ed teachers over the years. There are some that are great, take the time to read the IEP and know her...actually try to understand her triggers and then there are others like the one you descibe. Good for you for standing up to the 1:1. I really hope the PT conference yields good results...it may be that a new 1:1 needs to be assigned. Hugs~

[LittleDudesMom]

Kathie, I agree. You would think that special ed teachers would have a little knowledge since many ld kids carry some frustration trailing behind.

Linda, gfg has been on remerson since fall of '03! Since he is approaching puberty, I stand in rediness for the dreaded prophacy of increased behavior issues and med changes!

Allen, thank you so much for your wonderful words. They were very uplifting.

Fran, when I said "take down", I meant she had the 1:1 take him down to the office when 1:1 was handling things out in the hall. The office is the last resort if he appears unable to pull himself together. Just walking the principal's office and sitting on the sofa being quiet calms him. But, we use that as a last resort. I only dosed 1/4 to start, will call the pdoc's office, and plan to increase to 1/2 this weekend.

Thanks guys.

Sharon

[Sara PA]

His facial expressions? She's making an issue over his facial expressions? In a special ed class with a kid with diagnosed conditions that effect behavior? And she doesn't know that getting in their faces can trigger incidences? I think "The Explosive Child" should be required reading for spec ed teachers.

As for the removal of the AD, chronic withdrawal last for months. There can be mood swings or temperment issues off and on for a long time after the drug is removed as the brain reverses the changes made by the drug. For some people, tapering eliminates a lot of those withdrawal issues but not all of them.

[Fran]

Sorry, I misunderstood what a take down is.

[busywend]

Glad to see that, as usual, you are right on top of this before it escalates. Glad Principal was supportive of your observations. Hopefully, Spec Ed teach will step up and read about her students - unbelievable!