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**TerryJ2** · 08-13-2010 06:42 PM

P.S. When you say you "didn't know" do you mean that you didn't know you had a nephew, or you didn't know he was placed in foster care, or that you didn't know he had some serious issues?

**raregem** · 08-13-2010 07:07 PM

Hi Terry, we new we had a nephew but had never met him. They lived a few states away. We didn't know he was placed in foster care at the time.

Also, we had a neuropsych done at the age of 5 before he started kindergarten. They didn't call it that but it was a series of tests that took a couple days. Should we have another one done now?

**TerryJ2** · 08-13-2010 07:27 PM

Thank you for the info.
I can only speak for myself, but I had psycho-educational testing done 3X, every 3 yrs (until last yr), and neuropsych testing done twice. So many things can change--not just your nephew/son, but the testing, and medical/scientific breakthroughs.
It is expensive, though. Heck, you could wait until HS. As much as we all tout the benefits of neuropsych testing, it can still be flawed, depending upon the length of testing, the "experts" involved, and the prejudices of the dr.
Do you think there are enough interventions in place? Does your child psych or psychiatrist see eye-to-eye on the issues? Your original post makes me think you still have doubts about your dr.
Also, I am wondering why you think there has to be some physical component to RAD. It can come in all sorts of different flavors.
You may want to do a search on this thread, as well as the younger kids' thread, for RAD (and also, spell it out) to see if you have any "aha!" moments when you read the others' posts.
I hope that helps.

**TerryJ2** · 08-13-2010 07:29 PM

P.S. I am using the term "nephew/son" just on these posts for clarification. I assume you call your son "son" and tell him that he is adopted and is completely yours now.
I have an 82-yr-old cousin who to this day, will never forgive her stepfather for marrying her aunt (long story ... I'll write a book someday) and henceforth, referring to her as "niece" rather than "daughter." She will never get over it.
I don't know how your gfg feels, but just thought I'd toss that thought in ...

**raregem** · 08-13-2010 07:33 PM

Oh, he is definately my son. I wouldn't have it any other way!

**timer lady** · 08-14-2010 01:25 PM

I can tell you raregem, that RAD is the only mental illness that can be dx'd as early as 6 months of age. Rarely is though b/c of all the other issues of an infant - from colic to sleeping patterns & the like.

If you need or are interested in any information on attachment disorder (which ranges from attachment issues to full blown reactive attachment disorder - inhibited or disinhibited). You will likely need to see an adoption specialist. Again, it's one of those dx's no one wants to consider.

Make sure there is no other disorder going on. In the meantime, all the nurturing types of activities you can use won't hurt. For my son, wm, he didn't like the physical closeness but would play video games with my dh or myself. Physical contact during that activity occurred frequently, high 5's & lots of eye contact.

Please keep us updated.

**raregem** · 08-14-2010 08:35 PM

Thank you for all of your suggestions. Gfg has alot of the symptoms of RAD but he is very affectionate with us. He loves to hug and snuggle. That is why I was swaying away from that diagnosis. Can they have RAD and still be affectionate and trusting?

**Marguerite** · 08-15-2010 04:35 AM

Keep an open mind with PDD. Because that sounds a lot like GFG1. He would snuggle like a koala, would sit on our laps and really cuddle in especially if we were in public (would sit and cuddle all through church, for example). But his social ineptness and tendency to isolate himself made him seem aloof and reserved at other times. It seemed to e a contradiction. Also, a very PDD thing is this attitude to everyone and everything as an extension of themselves; they behave as if your sole reason for existence, is to meet their needs. It can resemble RAD.

Marg

**timer lady** · 08-15-2010 12:43 PM

Yes, raregem, that would be the disinhibited variant of attachment disorder. As Marg & others have stated there is a need to rule out the PDD & other likely issues first before attachment issues are brought forward as a possible dx. It's likely, at this age, that my son wm will be dx'd with some form of PDD at this late stage of the game.

GFG may have a combination of issues ~ all addressed one by one.

You're a good mum. Keep up the good work. Don't forget to find "me" time.