I knew the storm would hit...I knew it would be soon...but couldn't it have waited until I was feeling a bit better...not even great but maybe at least when I am feeling my "new normal" and not trying to recover from a medial procedure done on Monday?
Of course not.
The perfect storm has been brewing since early July when GFG's diagnosis and medications were changed.
Then my serious medical issues started.
Then GFG's serious medical issues started.
Then GFG started a new school (due to redistricting)...well kind of started in between all of his doctor appointments.
Then GFG's father decides it would be good for GFG and PC to ride the bus this year. Another change. Not one supported by me.
We were getting by with one miracle after another keeping us afloat (No cancer!!) yet with all of the disruptions, medical appointments, medicines, changes, etc I was holding my breath but knew that soon GFG's fuse would blow and that day was yesterday.
The bus is causing him problems. Too much noise, confusion, chaos... My ex just doesn't get it. Says that I am babying GFG by offering to drive the kids to school (on days that they are at his home-they go to school near his house) so they don't have to take the bus. Not that they HAVE to take it. He just wants them to. Says that GFG has to learn how to cope, blah, blah...the same old arguments we always have about these issues.
GFG says that he felt intimidated by older boys on bus yesterday, a commotion of some sort ensued- (hard to to tell since info comes from GFG and PC) and GFG was given a permanent seat in the front of bus. After school he was besides himself crying and terrified that these boys are going to beat him up. This is the first time I have dealt with GFG being afraid of anything or anyone. Have his recent medical problems left him feeling vulnerable? Or is this normal experience of being exposed to older different kids? Perhaps younger children just avoid those they perceive as different and older kids bully?
Next I find out (from GFG) that GFG was sent to the vice-principal that day for hitting other students and then continued to do so requiring a follow-up visit with VP. (was this misdirected anger and aggression? the timing seems to suggest so) Why were his father and I not called? Why was I finding out from GFG? Why did they not phone us like his previous school would? Then I see his weekly conduct report which verifies what he tells me and also shows that he has had a very rough week the entire week (talking, not following directions, not turning in home-work, not on task) resulting in a "U" which is the lowest score for conduct.
Went through the long process most of you have been through many times: calming GFG down, contacting his father, contacting school, etc. Over and over again it seemed.
GFG was up until midnight upset about many things (YIKES!!!!) one of which is his inability to concentrate and focus at school. Unfortunately, due to the really serious nature of his orthopedic problem his behavior problem has not been my primary focus as it had been previously...not that we have missed any pdoc appointments...we have not but, even at the last one in August the pdocs were obviously more worried about the possibility of GFG having bone cancer as well as we were and he had not started school at that time....so the behavior stuff was not as glaring as it is now. The plan had been to continue to increase lithium and we have increased but not as fast as the plan in August. Since starting the lithium GFG has not spoken one suicidal word and only had two violent meltdowns in nine weeks. That is huge. Really huge. But clearly we need to address the ADHD stuff as those behaviors persist. I don't know how pdoc will address this as we didn't have huge success on stimulants before but we need to do something.
Also, the 504 meeting we had scheduled before the start of the school had to be canceled for one of his oncology appointments. There was just no way around it. I had wanted to start off on the best foot possible. My plans were messed up by the darn cancer scare/bone infection nightmare. Lots of communication with teachers, principal, VP today...working on getting that 504 meeting asap.
The timing of all of this just stinks.
I am not physically well. I continue to have medical appointments and tests in order to get me on the right path medically.
GFG's bone infection has complicated things tremendously (albeit to a much lesser degree than cancer would have.)
His father and I continue to disagree about how to approach many of the issues that came up yesterday.
It is all so frustrating and exhausting. I knew it was coming. But that didn't make it any easier.