Piglet

[JJJ]

I'm so aggravated for Piglet. She is just drowning academically in high school. She does A/A+ work on homework, often with me on her shoulder making her redo it or improve it. But she is failing or getting Ds on her tests -- nearly all of them. There is definitely a learning disability there. I have to try again to get the school to test her.

I want her to be able to be involved in after school activities but not if her grades are too low. I'm letting her finish the last week of her fall sport but then she'll be with me, at the kitchen table about 4-5 hours/day trying to get her grades up before the end of the quarter. We are both going to hate it but there is no choice if she is going to get acceptable marks.

We had such high hopes for her high school experience and it is all just unravelling. I'm very sad.

[TeDo]

I hurt for her ..... and for you. It's really hard to watch them struggle so much, especially when there is something causing it that they can't control. What math class is she in? I know gfg1 is in Algebra and the concept of "unkown variables" is really throwing him for a loop this year. Gfg2 had no trouble with Algebra last year but is really struggling with Geometry so far. It just really hoovers that their limitations can cost them so much. Do you have any idea what about the work she is struggling with in particular?

[JJJ]

With most classes, including Algebra, it is her memory issues. When the lesson is taught, she gets it. By the time she gets home, she has forgotten it. Multiple reteachings can eventually get it into her brain, usually.

In other classes, English, history, she just does not get it. A huge part is her lack of knowledge about life. I have never met a less intellectually curious child. If it isn't taught to her directly, she cannot pick anything up from environmental cues. She can't understand the relationship between WWII and the establishment of the State of Israel because she cannot take knowledge she possesses (holocaust) and apply it to the new facts. Once it is directly spelled out for her several times, she often just learns the new fact but still. Annot draw a conclusion given another new fact.

[JJJ]

My 8 year old nephew is the child I wanted. It is so hard to see him succeed so easily in all of the areas that matter to me and then come home to my kids who do not even understand that those areas exist. At 8, he reads better than all of my kids. He understands the connection between things. He soaks up knowledge.

I wanted kids because I wanted that --a child to share my love of learning. I'm heartbroken that I do not have even have one smart child and nearly all of my nieces and nephews are not just smart, but gifted.

[TeDo]

That IS hard to swallow. None of us wanted kids with the struggles that have been imposed on them and thru them on us. I do have 1 child that is gifted but in social areas, yea well, that ain't happening. I watch all these "normal" kids and, even though I am grateful for what I DO have, I hurt for what I don't.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

[InsaneCdn]

JJJ - I don't know about your school, but here... (in the dinosaur of all hinderlands for most forms of help) if a student is pulling marks consistently at least two grades lower on tests than on assignments, they automatically qualify for alternative-format exams. There's a range on these accommodations... from scribe and oral exam, to multiple choice and possible answer list, all the way down to "no exam" (i.e. additional homework in lieu of exams). For Piglet, the gap is just too big. There IS something going on, and yes, she needs help.

To me, the answer isn't 4-5 hours of homework a night and not having any life at all... but that's our family's take on things. There is a balance necessary for good mental health... but that doesn't mean something going on every single night, either. The most we've done is one music-related and one physical-related scheduled activity per week (per child).

[TerryJ2]

Oh, I'm so sorry!
I completely understand the frustration with kids who have no curiosity or drive about learning anything. On a good day, my son will ask me, "Why does that truck have such big tires?" but D*g forbid if he has to study for a test.
His memory is improving, however. He's finally at the point where he can learn Algebra but it's going to be a rough yr. He took pre-algebra twice, and much of that was because he had forgotten his basic times tables. He just didn't want to or couldn't focus. I suspect that the new meds he's on will help.

We all keep trying ...

[StepTo2]

Jett excels in anything that requires rote memorization - History, Social Studies - he's got a mind like a steel trap for that stuff.

Science, since there are so many "labs" and he has to have a "partner" and his social skills - well, they hoover - uuugh. And ask him to extrapolate cause and effect... If he SEES it, he gets it - if not, it makes no sense to him.

Tell him washing a red blanket with white sheets will make the sheets pink? Nope. Have him DO it? Gotcha. And with stuff like Algebra, if we can get him past "why did they use an X in this one and an N in the other one?", he does fine.

[greenrene]

My gfg seems to be a lot like Piglet academically. However, me standing over her to do schoolwork (or sometimes even SUGGESTING she do schoolwork) leads to meltdown mode.

Technically, she's "supposed" to be a sophomore. She's now on her 2nd year of 8th grade.

The double-edged sword? My 9-year-old pc (my first bio child, 4th grade) is unbelievably smart, hard-working, and eager to learn. He can read and write much better than gfg can. I couldn't be more proud of him, but it does make it hard for gfg to have her much younger brother outshine her in everything he does.

[InsaneCdn]

but it does make it hard for gfg to have her much younger brother outshine her in everything he does.

Read more: http://www.conductdisorders.com/foru...#ixzz27OrgYlaQ

GR - You need to find something for GFG to shine in.
My GFG is "out-shone" by a younger sibling too... in academics.
But... he has his talents, and they are at the "extremely talented" level, AND practical (he can make a living from them)... and when it comes to those kinds of practical things... the younger sibling is pretty much a washout.

GFG needs to find "something" to be good at.
Music. Cooking. Crafts (knitting, crochet, needlepoint...). Art.
Something, anything, where she can put in a reasonable effort and get a really good result.
It not only does wonders for their self-esteem, it seems to provide a certain energy that flows over into other areas...