Some good news, but she's still in custody and no decision by judge yet

**allhaileris** · 04-13-2012 01:33 PM

We were supposed to have a hearing yesterday to decide on jurisdiction, which would mean another court date two weeks later and then she'd go home (the social worker said that's his recommendation). But the SW did not file the paperwork until 2 hours before the trial, and both of our lawyers wanted to put it off a week. They did drop the felony charge of child abuse from DH since it's obvious to them now what's going on. It makes me mad that all this gets put off a week because the SW didn't do his job. The case is open, but the charges are gone.

We saw the county mental therapist today and went over DD's issues, and I told her about the big eval the school did last year (which included full ASD and psychologist eval) where she'll be able to get better info from that than from us. They confirmed that they can not medicate her at all. We'd have to sign off on any medication and she's only going to see a therapist, not a psychiatrist.

The SW called DH just now and said that he could pick her up on Monday and take her to school. She's staying at a home in another city, about 20 min South of us and they're having issues getting her to and from school. This means we get to spend time with her unsupervised (gosh, we could run to Mexico if we were lying about everything, so they seem to trust us). I don't know if it's just Monday morning or if it'll be every back and forth until we get her back. Obviously, this is very good news. I'll finally be able to talk to my baby! She holds things back when people are listening.

And then...when I saw her yesterday she was wearing a bra. She's in 4th grade, not developed at all, rail thin like her Dad (not underweight, but like no fat). This made me very upset afterwards when I was stewing on it. That is a rite of passage and they totally ruined it!!! She didn't want to talk about it (because of the person supervising us) but my hunch is it was a hand me down from one of the other girls in the house, there are three others, 10, 13, & 17. She's sensory seeking and likes to have things tied around her (belts, scarves, she's tied herself to her chair at school before) and my guess is she wanted the sensory input. So not okay.

**buddy** · 04-13-2012 02:52 PM

Oh gosh, good news overall, but I am sorry about the bra thing. Might seem small to some but that would bug me, like missing first steps etc.
A little off topic but my son has a lycra "tube" thing that is like a big stretchy three foot wide piece of material sewn shut so it is a loop. He puts it around his back and can put his legs in and push on it so it is tight. Have you seen those in adaptive/special needs magazines (they are online too). Really kind of cool. He takes that to school and can wrap it around his chair and make it tight.

Thanks for the update, hope the drives to school go well!

**allhaileris** · 04-13-2012 03:03 PM

She's broken those at school, she's had a few

I'm going to look and see if I can find a tank top or something that will actually be tight, and not too short, on her skinny tall frame. I'm also going to make something (I sew), like a wrap around shirt, but a vest, put a slit on one side of the wrap so the other side can slide through, put velcro on both ends so it can adjust as needed, and I can add pockets to put weights in if I need to. I've looked at the compression vests and they're both ugly and expensive. I'll figure out something for both home and school.

**buddy** · 04-13-2012 03:34 PM

Originally Posted by allhaileris

She's broken those at school, she's had a few

I'm going to look and see if I can find a tank top or something that will actually be tight, and not too short, on her skinny tall frame. I'm also going to make something (I sew), like a wrap around shirt, but a vest, put a slit on one side of the wrap so the other side can slide through, put velcro on both ends so it can adjust as needed, and I can add pockets to put weights in if I need to. I've looked at the compression vests and they're both ugly and expensive. I'll figure out something for both home and school.

OH we have those too! they are strong like scuba material. THere is a front and back and the back has the soft side that industrial velcro can attach to and the front has large patches of industrial velcro on the ends of the flaps that stick to the back so you can pull it tight on teh shoulders and around the torso....they also have pants/shorts that go alone with it. My son's is now too small for him if you pm me her size I can measure it and see if you want it. He has to get a larger one. No way she can rip it.

similar thing: http://www.sensorygoods.com/neoprenepressurevest.aspx

http://store.schoolspecialty.com/OA_...6&item=2474890

here is the one we have but in green: http://www.especialneeds.com/velvaso...sory-vest.html

I gave the little one we had to our neighbor who has a child with autism who struggled to settle at night, she said he started just falling asleep right away using it, I had never thought to use it like that because he usually wants it off eventually...but for her kid it worked.

they can wear it under a sweater or sweat shirt etc. so no one sees.