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Thread: On top of it all, I hit a deer, tonight...

  1. #1
    CD enthusiast ShakespeareMamaX's Avatar
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    On top of it all, I hit a deer, tonight...

    Well, I had an SAT (student assistance team) meeting today. According to the school handbook:

    "A Student Assistance Team includes teachers, administrators, and consultants who work collaboratively to develop strategies to support students' academic and behavioral needs."

    When my DH and I got to the meeting at 8:30, this morning, the only people in the room were the school social worker and the principal.

    The principal had a piece of paper that we were supposed to write a "plan" on to recreate my child. OK...let's give it a whirl. His idea was to send my son to the RTC (return to class/detention) room 3 times a day, everyday, as to put a little variety in his day. Of course, he would be escorted by another child as to prevent these "dangerous" behaviors my son has been advertising to the school that even the principal, himself, couldn't control.

    Brilliant! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/1010hammer.gif[/img]

    "Well, I know you guys are in a hurry to get to work, so..."
    If I had my brass knuckles on at the moment(s) the principal said that... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/cigarsmoker.gif[/img]
    HE wanted to leave, so he tried to use US as the excuse. I said "Well, we're willing to take all the time necessary in order to fix this. We're not worried about work right now".

    I asked about a 504 plan...he didn't know what it was.

    The social worker sat there in silence most of the time and, eventually, the school psychologist joined the group. I asked if they had the resources at the school for one-on-one attention for my child.
    "No."
    I asked if they had smaller classes as to give my child a little more individual attention than a full size class.
    "No."
    Well, then...I said, "maybe (no offense to the school) this school and my son are not compatible."
    "Oh, you're not going to get anything different from any other school. In fact, this is the only school in this town that has the RTC room." [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/9-07bravo.gif[/img]
    I asked if there were any alternative schools, at all, in town.
    This is where the psychologist piped up "Oh, that's something that will need to be discussed in the PPT."
    Me - "Yeah? How's that coming along, by the way?"
    Psych - "The paperwork is being filed."
    Me - "OK...still in the WORKS. OK..." [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grrr.gif[/img]

    At 9:00 (1/2 later), the principal had to leave. Mind you, nothing had been accomplished. The only plan were the 3x a day RTC visits.

    We moved into the psych's office. Now it's just us and her (not sure where the social worker went). She seems to be a bit more on the same page as us, but we still never worked out a solid plan. She suggested when he go to the RTC room he continue doing assignments to color his turtles in (there are 5), so he gets a reward.

    Today, though, the goal was to color 2 turtles. Worth a shot, I guess.

    The social worker shows up a while into talking to the psych. He gives me 3 numbers to 3 new MDs. I ask the psych and the social worker's opinions on whether they thought it would be effective to have my son apologize to the class for disrupting them.

    They agreed this would be a bad idea it as it would embarass him. I think for a moment...alright, I suppose that's reasonable.

    Now, what came next stopped me in my tracks. The psych tells me that one of the times my son was so lovingly escorted out of the room for his behavior, the WHOLE class applauded. Applauded! With him RIGHT THERE! It completely disgusts me that such behavior is allowed by those children! I wanted to cry for my son. I wanted to hug him. Squeeze him and get him out of that wretched excuse for a school.

    But I continued...I needed to get all the info I could.

    I found out the principal requested my son's teacher NOT attend the meeting and didn't even advise her of it until later this morning.

    I found out the principal last year was more apt to keep the "problem" kids in school, as opposed to kicking them out the door the second they acted up.

    I found out that I liked the psych a LOT more having found out her opinions on the (gym teacher) principal, alone. We'll just say she's not his biggest fan. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/thumb.gif[/img]

    So....that's it. That's the plan. A kid bringing my kid to detention 3 times a day so he can color [enter colorful language] turtles.

    May I add the silver lining of my day:

    I got an appointment with a neurologist for 18 December. And they take my insurance. Woo hoo!!! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/ghost.gif[/img]

    This is my last spark of hope, at this point. As much as I'd hate to see that my son actually did have some kind of inbalance with his brain...at least, we'd know what to fix, right?

    [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bloodshot.gif[/img]
    Me: DXed with ADHD,Anx/Panic D,Insomnia, Nightmares, Hoarding,Bipolar.
    Depakote Lamictal Xanax Iron.
    MMom: MDD, alchl abuse and anx.
    GFG's Bio D: MDD. Getting better. Finally involved.
    PMom: MDD
    PDad: Drug Abuser, Phys Abusive
    GFG: 8 year old, awesome boy
    DX - ADHD, PTSD, AD, Bipolar
    .50 MGs of Risperdal 2x daily
    Has mastered "the worm"
    Has nightmares which sync up to mine (timing, not content).
    DH and Baby O: Married 2 years and made the perfect daughter.

  2. #2
    I love my Scrappy! busywend's Avatar
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    Re: On top of it all, I hit a deer, tonight...

    Wow - I thought this post was about a deer! LOL!

    Well, sounds like you need an advocate with you for the next meeting. It is free. The school should be able to provide you a list of them.

    When is the next official IEP meeting?
    Me-42 Newlywed! - Moderator in General Forum
    DH - Married 9/11/10! Been together for 8 years
    Ex-GFG - 19 y o - dx effective 1/14/04 - ADHD, Tourettes, OCD - starting Adderall XR - IEP 2/26/04. Lived with biodad for one year. With me full time now. Graduated 6/26/09! Working! Living on her own!
    Scrappy - the cutest kitty in the world. He fetches!
    Harpo - boy kitty - total snuggler!
    Bella - girl - GFG kitty! Hyper!

  3. #3
    Nana's are Beautiful Hound dog's Avatar
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    Re: On top of it all, I hit a deer, tonight...

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Wow - I thought this post was about a deer! LOL! </div></div>

    [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rofl.gif[/img]


    If you can get an advocate, get one.

    I'd start pushing for a new IEP meeting.

    I had a pricipal pull the teacher no show game on me. Actually Travis was in hs and ALL his teachers were to be at the IEP meeting. We'd set it up this way on purpose. We get there, no teachers. I refused to start the meeting til the teachers arrived.

    Now, having been a gfg in my own day, I can be one stubborn person when I want to be. We sat there for 45 mins while they harry scarry gathered up his teachers simply because I refused to budge. lol It was one of the best meetings we had. Because two of those teachers the principal didn't want there actually backed us up on Travis' social problems and the fact that other kids were stealing his textbooks. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img]

    I'm so glad those days are behind me.

    Hugs
    Lisa

    Katie 31 (gfg) - Married to M (moron man) K11, A10 MRDD, E 5
    PC 27 (RN)- Darrin 8, Brandon 2, Conner 1 year
    Travis 25 (gfg) - PDD TS, CP, legally blind, epilepsy, polycythemia
    Nichole: 22 (ex-gfg ): Aubrey 5 yrs Oliver 5 months
    Furbabies:
    Rowdy- white lab 12 yrs
    Molly- shepard mix 11 yrs
    Betsy- Rowdy's daughter- basset lab mix 5 yrs
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    **Dynamite comes in small packages**

  4. #4
    CD Hall of Fame TerryJ2's Avatar
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    Re: On top of it all, I hit a deer, tonight...

    Me too. I was waiting to read about the poor deer. Dear.

    Wow, that's weird that they did not tell the teacher about the mtng. Very, very weird.

    And they don't think your son should apologize because it might embarrass him, but it's okay if the classroom applauds when he's escorted out. Whatever.

    So sorry. Looks like the kids and adults in this issue are all on the same level!

    Yes, you may want a new DX. In the meantime, you're clearly working on it, once piece at a time.

    Good luck.
    54 artist, writer; dh 54 chiro, PC bio dau 20, son gfg 15 open adop at birth, "Aspie lite" (11/08); phosp 1 wk Aug/Sept 08, mood dis NOS, ODD, ADHD. 72 mg Concerta, Imiprimine, clonidine, Trialing Abilify. Neg. '06 speech cogn; dev delays but catching up; held back 1 yr school; glaucoma; wheat/gluten allergy; trying to maintain gluten-free-, milk-free diet; collie, golden, 2 wht mixed Tonkinese cats.
    A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. --Mark Twain

  5. #5
    Moderator LittleDudesMom's Avatar
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    Re: On top of it all, I hit a deer, tonight...

    Add another one who was waiting for the deer story at the end of your post!

    I think busywend is right on - time to bring in an advocate.

    Sharon
    Sharon a.k.a. "the foolish optimist" Mod in General & Healthful Living
    GFG: Son, 16, dx ADHD highly impulsive/combined in 5/02 and depression in 12/03 - 20 mg of vyvansel - undx'd anxiety and social issues - expert gamer, creative and funny, loves his family - great kid!
    PC: Daughter 21 - loves and protects her brother, in local college and in her own place - a joy!

    I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.
    -- Agatha Christie

  6. #6
    Seussical mrscatinthehat's Avatar
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    Re: On top of it all, I hit a deer, tonight...

    Wow. Reminds me of when they told us I had to come sit with gfg2 for him to finish 6th grade. When 7th grade started I put my foot down on that. (they really thought I would do it again) Get that advocate. Make sure they are on your same page and utilize them.

    Hope things get better.

    Beth
    me-40 - Beth
    dh-48

    gfg1-21f in rtc since august of 2003. ODD, ADHD, CD, RAD, Borderline personality traits, borderline intelectual functioning. Living with BM at the moment.
    gfg2- 18m I adopted this one after BM walked out of the picture. RTC since 10 of 2005 Moved to state training school (Juvie) 2-7-08. Going to an adult facility.

    pc-20f by no means perfect. National Guard and College Student

  7. #7
    Warrior Parent Hanging-On's Avatar
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    Re: On top of it all, I hit a deer, tonight...

    Me too, I was concerned about you and the deer. Hope everything's alright. It really does sound like they are jerking you around. Also, why are they giving you the names of doctors to take your son. That's part of their responsibility. My gfg's school had me running around to all different doctors, and then I found out from my lawyer that they were transferring the cost and responsibility to me for what they were suppose to do. I'd get a lawyer or advocate to go with you from now on. They're seriously messing with you.
    gfg - 11 yr old son. Stratera, Abilify, Clonidine.
    5/05 dx ADHD
    12/05 dx Severe SID's.
    1/07 dx PDD-NOS, Cognitive Disorder-NOS, Mood Disorder-NOS. Removed dx of ODD from 2004, and removed dx of Severe Bi-Polar from 1/06.
    6/07 (NEW) dx of Severe Dyselxia of all 4 types.
    8/07 dx from Neuro-pych:Confirmed PDD-Nos, ADHD, Mood Disorder-Nos,and NEW dxs Disruptive Behavior Disorder-Nos, LD-Nos,and Rule-out Cognitive Disorder-Nos.
    2/09 – 6/10 RTC

    pc - 7.10 yr old son, 10/07 dx ADHD.

  8. #8
    Moderator Sheila's Avatar
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    Re: On top of it all, I hit a deer, tonight...

    The school district is required to evaluate in all areas of suspected disability -- it doesn't matter what the suspected disabilit(ies) is. So, if you've requested a Full and Initial Evaluation, the medical evaluation should be a part of it. (Keep the paper w/the 3 doctor's names recommended. )

    Diagnostics are part of the sd eval, however, medical treatments are at parent expense. For instance, say a medical doctor did appropriate testing and diagnoses a child with seizure disorder. That's paid by the school district. If the doctor recommends a medication, that's not classified as a diagnostic and the meds are the parent expense.

    There are some treatments that are classified as related services, e.g., speech-language therapy, occupational therapy, etc. In these type cases, diagnostics and treatment are at sd expense.
    gfg: 16 yrs, m, ADHD dx 2000; Anxiety; APD, SID, motor apraxia dxd Spring 2002; Recep/Expr Lang impairments resulting in Reading Comp Disorder dx 9/2003. PTSD; dx 12/2004. PDD-NOS; dx 2/2005. MDE's (5/2005) team dx: ADHD, Adj Disorder w/Mixed Disturbance of Emotions and Conduct (PTSD, anxiety), LD-NOS (multi lang disorders). Adderall XR.
    Me: aka Alisha Leigh, member since 5/2001

    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

  9. #9
    Warrior Parent Hanging-On's Avatar
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    Re: On top of it all, I hit a deer, tonight...

    Thanks Sheila, you described the differences, I failed to put in my post, beautifully.
    gfg - 11 yr old son. Stratera, Abilify, Clonidine.
    5/05 dx ADHD
    12/05 dx Severe SID's.
    1/07 dx PDD-NOS, Cognitive Disorder-NOS, Mood Disorder-NOS. Removed dx of ODD from 2004, and removed dx of Severe Bi-Polar from 1/06.
    6/07 (NEW) dx of Severe Dyselxia of all 4 types.
    8/07 dx from Neuro-pych:Confirmed PDD-Nos, ADHD, Mood Disorder-Nos,and NEW dxs Disruptive Behavior Disorder-Nos, LD-Nos,and Rule-out Cognitive Disorder-Nos.
    2/09 – 6/10 RTC

    pc - 7.10 yr old son, 10/07 dx ADHD.

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