3 1/2 year old boy with behavior problems, Help!

[@ydensm@mm@]

I ma new to this site, I found it yesterday while looking for some answers about my little boy. He is 3 1/2, stay at home with me until he was 2 1/2, went to a home daycare and the lady was just great, it was a little hard for him to adapt, his vocabulary skills are limited, I spoke to him mostly spanish his first year and half, he has words but he just doesn't talk unless he decides to. Anyways, the home daycare lady moved to another statee and whe ahd to find another place for him. We placed him in "the best" development center in town, this past august and since that, some very nasty behavior started. He was bitting, spitting, screaming at the teachers, we are very aware of this changes and we start spending at least 3 hrs in the mornings with him there to see how we could help him to cooperate. He improved a lot, fallows directions but still pushes other kids for not apparent reason. He was hitting the teachers, but that went away at the same time that the bitting stopped. He had a speech screening and he failed that, we where aware of his delay on speech and we where looking for therapy for that. the development therapist that we when to see was helpful, and she didn't tested him, she said that he was untestable (without been aware that he was ready for his nap, didn't eat lunch yet and he meet her there for the first time). she recommended and OT and we have an appointment for february (?) Anyway, yesterday we went to get him from school, and he was crying in the director's office, he had a scracht in the face from her, she got mad at him because he was kicking the chair, and she asked him to stop and got on his face (he doenst like that at all) and he slapped her and kicked her, we happend to walk right there, he was crying because he wanted to come back to his classroom that he left after a birthday party and all the 20 kids got out of control, the teacher took some of the boys to the office,(she was the only teacher in the classroom) and this woman didnt let him go back with his teahcer thith his teacjer that went to get him back 3 times!!!! well, I don't know if taking him out of the center is the best thing to do because he likes his friends, he loves singing and playing, but he has been so sad since he is going there, yes, he is kinda rough with the kids sometimes, but some methods to deal with him that they use I am not happy with them.... i have no idea what to do and how to deal with this, he is at home with me today, and he help me cook, took a bath, made christmas cards with me.... he is not a bad boy and he is very smart, but his reactions sometimes are just not the ones that you want to. help me please!!!!

[saman]

Um..the DIRECTOR did that? Pull him. We had my son in the Montessori school in town...yeah, that was a nightmare. We found out too late in the game that ANYONE can open a montessori school...and call it that, without ANY affiliation with the National Montessori Boards. Anyway, we loved Parker's teachers, but the director is ulimately in control and she was terrible. There's some really awful stories I can tell...and Parker was there less than 5 weeks. If your little guy has a mark on his face from the director, it needs to be OVER. No adult should be getting into ANY kid's face. Oh that just makes me angry.

I wish you much luck. You certainly have challenges ahead, but IMO the good of this center is completely outweighed by a director that gets into a 3.5 year old's face.

My son is very impulsive and often does before he thinks...and he doesn't MEAN it, I truly believe that, but he'll hit, kick, push, whatever, and then realize that he shouldn't have. It the way these kids operate...and it's hard. Hang in there.

[@ydensm@mm@]

thanks saman! I just read your first post... I just wish to know how to help him navigate through school, I wish I knew what triggers his aggression. I agree with you in that they just can't stop themselves sometimes...
and yes, Austin, my husband just called me from work to see how we where doing and told me that he doesn't want him to go back...
I am so glad that your little one is improving every day!!!!
I am very happy that I found this place!
thanks
T

[SRL]

Was the developmental therapist someone from the county or public school district? I think I might contact her back and tell her what's been going on at preschool and see if she can't give you some direction since she'll have a good idea of what's going on in your location. It may be that this preschool isn't a good fit for your son or it may be that he needs more structure and supports. A child with both speech and OT issues could need more.

I'll also mention to you that some kids just aren't quite ready for preschool at age 3. 3 year old preschool is a pretty recent invention in the history of raising children.

[@ydensm@mm@]

we contact her today, and now we are just waiting for her to call us back. Ayden is going for his speech test on tuesday morning. I spoke to the speech therapist yesterday a few times. I think that we will talk to them about this and we are writing a letter to the school director about it too.

[SRL]

Are the developmental therapist, speech therapist, and OT involved with the school or are they from an outside private or county organization?

[@ydensm@mm@]

from the county

[SRL]

That's fine. If they were associated with the school then I was going to suggest seeking independent diagnosticians.

[@ydensm@mm@]

thank you, I am relaxed now that at least we decided to take him out of there, we are very active parents and we do things with him all the time, the only reason why we decided to put him at a center is for him to develop better social skills, but it has been worst. I will keep posting how the tests go, and how he is doing around other kids. We are taking him to the park later and we will see how he does!
Thanks again [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img]

[flutterbee]

I just wanted to welcome you to the board. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/flower.gif[/img]