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It has come to this, and I know many wise members have dealt with this kind of scary situation. I posted in November how I co-signed a lease with my 36 year old ds when I thought he was turning things around. I was worried that he couldn't pay the rent, but within a few months I got concerned...

My heartfelt wishes this holiday season for all who visit this site are for a reprieve from the heartache and worry about our difficult children. Thanks for the compassion, insight, practical advice, and wisdom shared. I am hurting, but I am standing. My borderline daughter (41) has kept...

Hi All, My head knows better, but my heart still hurts at the holidays. I have not seen my 41 year old daughter and my two grandchildren (10 and 5) for over 4 years. Her choice and my relief because of her addiction/borderline rage issues. I wrote about the recent verbal abuse by my 36 year old...

I posted somewhat regularly a few years ago. I don't see as much activity here, but I remember how wise and non-judgmental people on this site are. My difficult adult daughter (borderline/substance abuse) stopped contact with me four years ago. I'm heartbroken over not seeing my grandchildren...

My daughter, 39, has not spoken to me in 2 1/2 years and has kept me from my grandkids. Today I was walking down Main St. and there she was sitting on some steps. I quickly ducked down another street. I got triggered. I have PTSD from both my childhood and being verbally abused by my daughter and DS and...

When my son's phone number rings, I freeze. He became incensed when I wouldn't use the $400 rent money I promised him for a Christmas gift for driving tickets. Verbal abuse, blaming, the c and b words, told me never to come back to his town or he would slit my tires, shaming, spitting on my...

I have two difficult adult children, 34, and 39. They were great kids, but ex enabled them and allowed drug/alcohol use. One is a full-blown addict/narcissist; the other is borderline/substance user. I am a sexual abuse and neglect survivor and have spent my whole adult life (now 66)trying heal...

I can't get my two difficult adult children out of my head - it's an endless loop of anxiety. After my DS (34) son's blowout, neither of them has contact with me, but their mail keeps showing up. It all looks like court stuff, driver infractions, CASA. I fret over what to do, not wanting to...

I have been away from the site for a while because I went out of the country for some respite. I realize that I am lucky to be able to have that option. I have grown in so many ways, but I continue on some levels to be enmeshed with my 34-year-old difficult son. He is more like an adolescent...

Joy and woe are woven fine, A clothing for the soul divine, Under every grief and pine, Runs a joy with silken twine. It is right it should be so, We were made for joy and woe, And when this we rightly know, Through the world we safely go. ~ by William Blake 1800's Nothing hurts so much as to...

I' wrote about 33 DS getting kicked out of sober house, not following rules, and despite jail, prison, rehab has not matured. Difficult personality - non-compliant and entitled. Said he would never go to a shelter, furious at me for suggesting it. I've spent too much money over the years helping...

...so I brought my 33 year old DS back to the sober house after he was sick. He was kicked out six days later. He said he didn't know why because he was clean. That's true, but the woman running it said he talks the talk of recovery, but doesn't walk the walk, is not committed, flouts the rules. So...

Son living in sober house 1/1/2 hours away came to town to pick up car from garage. Car is a piece of junk and mechanic told him so, he came to house to pick up some belongings - car overheating still. He asked to use bathroom, started vomiting - said housemate has the flu. I let him lay down...

My son lives in a sober house an hour and a half away. His car is a piece of junk, brought it over to be fixed, still broken. He came to the door to ask to get a few belongings, asked to use the bathroom and started throwing up. He is sober and seems to have the flu - has vomited over a dozen...

I posted less than a week ago about visiting my son at rehab and how the counselor said he needed a deposit for a sober house. It'd already a train wreck. I had told my son I would buy him a phone card when he got out and give him $100 for Christmas. He knows he's not to come to the house...

I need some of the wisdom I always find in the posts here. Between healing from my broken arm and teaching, I've just barely been keeping up. My 33 year old son was released from 5 months prison into a month rehab. The good part is that I think he's trying. The bad is that even though I helped...

In my last post I wrote that my 32 year old son was furious that I told probation he didn’t live with me when they showed up at my door. I set the boundary that he couldn’t live with me or use our address for residence. He is verbally abusive, easily triggered, will not take any guidance...

I posted last week that my son was angry at me for telling probation the truth that he did not live with me, and I didn’t know if he had gone back to jail or not. he told me that I am set an awful person without a heart. Every encounter takes a lot out of me. I didn’t hear from him for a...

Before my difficult 32-year-old was released from jail, I sent him a letter detailing what I would and wouldn’t do. I told him that he might not use my address for residency purposes. I told him that I would give him $5000 of my hard earned money to help with getting transportation and housing...

My 32 year old son was released from jail a week and a half ago. He'd been incarcerated for most of the last 3 years. He is controlling and narcissistic, won't listen to anyone, wants little to do with me except to rescue him or to take care of his problems. Over the years I've gotten stronger...