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  1. ColleenB

    It’s been awhile....

    I haven’t been here In over a year. Not sure why I decided to check in, maybe because I know I could have used some hope those long years when my son was using and on a one way path to self destruction... one I often joined him on. We were not perfect parents, but we gave our boys every...
  2. ColleenB

    A new year.... a new start

    So far 2018 has been a good year..... one month in and it’s promising. Son is still in school. Going everyday and no signs of drug or alcohol abuse. None. It’s a new reality for us. We have spent so many years in a state of high alert we find ourselves still doing so..... we have to remember to...
  3. ColleenB

    Walking on eggshells....

    update: Oldest son is going on a month of sobriety, 5 weeks actually! He is going to classes everyday, and spending all his time at home or at school. He is seeing his school counsellor, but I don’t think he has attended AA. I haven’t smelt pot or seen any indication he is using. He told me...
  4. ColleenB

    Intervention

    I have been contacted by my sons friends, his childhood ones, not his druggie ones. They want to talk to him and to us tomorrow night and do an impromptu intervention to tell him they care about him and see him slipping. I don’t know how this will all go but I am willing to participate. I am...
  5. ColleenB

    I refuse to get on the roller coaster....

    So Son has actually been doing OK. He is still in art school and he even participated in a Halloween activity because I saw it on their Facebook page.... so I was feeling like maybe just maybe he is finally getting it. Last Sunday night he even went to a haunted house with me and his cousin and...
  6. ColleenB

    Can alcoholics ever drink?

    So son has been living out for a few months now and except for a very scary week in September has appeared sober. He wanted to attend a family wedding with us and his grandmother, we just lost his grandfather two weeks prior, so we were driving all four of us. Son told me he would have some...
  7. ColleenB

    Update.... erratic behaviours

    For those of you who know my story , oldest son moved out again a few months ago and started Art school. He also did detox three months ago, and seemed to be mostly clean from hard drugs. He was still smoking pot, and doesn't see any issue... sigh... that's a whole other thread. He had a major...
  8. ColleenB

    Son showed up this am....

    The doorbell rings at 7am and its oldest son.... he doesn't have a key. He says he is trying to stay clean and may want to stay with us for a week. According to him, he has been drinking on weekends and it's getting out of control. Of course I knew he was using something.... I asked if he was...
  9. ColleenB

    Strange comments

    As most of you know my story I will keep that part brief...23 yr old son, moved out last month, has been to detox for alcohol and benzos, uses weed still, not violent or abusive, carries around a lot of shame, suffers from anxiety and depression. He has been out for over a month now so I don't...
  10. ColleenB

    Good vibes please

    Hey there.... We have been away now almost two weeks and haven't talked much with oldest son. He has a doctors appointment this week, and we have no idea if he even went. However, at this point it's totally his decision and I will not take ownership of his decisions. I'm asking for some positive...
  11. ColleenB

    next steps.....

    Son has been out of detox for almost three weeks, and so far it's been OK....he had a slip but seems to be doing better than before he went. He plans on moving out and signed the lease on an apartment last night. He is moving in with another guy who we don't really know well, but after...
  12. ColleenB

    Out of detox

    Son is home. He was discharged and has weekly outpatient counselling. He has been going to a few AA meetings also. He seems healthier and in a better mood but I am not as naive as I have been. I saw his little journal I gave him when he went in and I read it.... probably shouldn't have. He...
  13. ColleenB

    Son has asked to go to detox

    we have been trying be supportive to our son 22 who moved back home in march. He has been depressed and sleeps most days, often staying out all night. We both called his bluff a few days ago, telling him we aren't seeing progress but regression since he has moved in despite some good steps...
  14. ColleenB

    Another day.... another promise?

    Oldest son has been sleeping all day and out all night since he moved home in early march. He says he is depressed and not using, but I don't know for sure. Two nights ago he came home and the car has some damage to it. This would be bumper number four if we were to fix it. I know.... we are...
  15. ColleenB

    Son moved home

    Two days before my husband and I left for our March break vacation, oldest son lands on our doorstep with two cats.... they belonged to his ex roommates ex girlfriend and were ditched along with paying rent ..... so son moved into our home... again. It's been rough. He is very depressed and...
  16. ColleenB

    What to say.....

    so last night, I decided to check his email. Of course this was right before heading to friends for the evening... why do I pick such bad times??? Anyway, it looks like lots of e trmsfers and I'm pretty sure he is dealing again. He hasn't had a real job in over 18 months. I am not naive, there...
  17. ColleenB

    Update....

    I first found these boards a year ago, as I was visiting my sister for Xmas and discovered our son was not only using drugs, which we had been dealing with for 2/3 years at that point, but dealing. It was probably the lowest point of my entire life. I felt like a failure as a parent, I was...
  18. ColleenB

    Waiting for the shoe to drop...

    I know i haven't been posting any updates, but I guess part of me is hoping that we are moving beyond addictive behaviours. Some days I'm convinced he is is... others I feel scared and am waiting for the worst to happen. Oldest son is on his own, has been since April, but it looks like he is...
  19. ColleenB

    Going on two weeks of very little contact...

    I've never gone this long without seeing my son (except for a time I was teaching overseas for a month) He has no phone now, and the only way to contact him was through a landline that after today he will no longer have. Husband went over tonight to move him to a new place. I didn't go. I've...
  20. ColleenB

    How do you avoid questions about Difficult Child?

    So we are headed out to meet up with friends, a few I only see occasionally because they live out of town. The last time I saw this couple was NYE and I was a mess. I do not want to be that way tonight. How do you all avoid the inevitable kid questions???? I just checked his email again...
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