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  1. wisernow

    19 year old mentally ill son terrorizing family.

    agree with all of the posters. He needs to be out. Him being removed from the home will benefit all of you because you need time from the "soup" to see clearly. These behaviours have become the norm for the family except that when we step back we realize how abnormal and wrong they are. That...
  2. wisernow

    Opinions appreciated

    So sorry for all of the stress this has caused. The way I see it let the therapist be the one to call the CPS and let the dominoes fall where they may. For you to start this process means you will be the bad guy, you will own it, and if and when it may fall apart the blame will be on you and W...
  3. wisernow

    Moms is the Hospital

    thinking of you and sending prayers and positive thoughts your way! Please take care of you as well. Hugs!
  4. wisernow

    It all fell apart...

    i am so so sorry you had to come back to this. Please take care of yourselves and hold firm to your boundaries. This is on them, not you. Hugs!
  5. wisernow

    Coping with the new normal

    I am sorry that you are going through this painful journey. Perhaps though right now space might be needed. The boys are still young and as they mature, I am sure things will change. You have both grown so much from this experience and your relationship has survived. That says much and you...
  6. wisernow

    Coping with the new normal

    I am sorry that you are going through this painful journey. Perhaps though right now space might be needed. The boys are still young and as they mature, I am sure things will change. You have both grown so much from this experience and your relationship has survived. That says much and you...
  7. wisernow

    The Call

    You are doing the right thing. I too did not bail my son out although it tore me apart. After 30 days his dad finally did but only managed to deal with him for two days and then send him off to hospital for evaluation. It was a turning point for him and for us all. He was finally diagnosed...
  8. wisernow

    Don't know where to turn

    I agree with all of the above replies. One thing I did learn the hard way is if things don't change, outcomes wont change. Its like spin cycle all over. Please try to step back, read the article on detachment on this site, and try to reclaim your lives. Funny but sometimes once they realize...
  9. wisernow

    Adult Son ReLapsed

    What a beautiful response New Leaf. Thank you. It helps us all to read that.
  10. wisernow

    GEESH

    Great job staying the course. They must think we are total morons to continue to buy their stories. Yet there are times it is still so hard to say no. One day at a time.......
  11. wisernow

    A Prayer

    May all of your guardian angels wrap their wings around you and your hurting heart and give you light and hope. Hugs
  12. wisernow

    Still here

    Good to hear from you. Isnt it nice when life is "drama free" but for even a moment. You have been through much these past months. Be good to yourselves! and your insights are always inspiring and helpful!
  13. wisernow

    Husband's long weekend visit with son

    Wonderful news. I understand you feeling anxious given everything you have been through but try to take it one day at a time. There are five more months left and from the sounds of it he will continue to grow and expand. Hope that you are getting some care as well. Our lives will never be...
  14. wisernow

    Feeling heartbroken and helpless

    I am so sorry for what are you going through and the pain this is causing you. Your son sounds like he is an angry young man, and of course when there are problems they blame us all. Sometimes, I think we need to step way back and change the dance. By you continuing to contact him he has the...
  15. wisernow

    How long did it take you to finally make a change

    I too was very reluctant to see a therapist because I was so so broken, and so closed in, and so lacked self esteem that I thought I would absolutely bust open if anyone new were to judge me because of our "hidden secret of chaos". In fact my first few times I bravely put on a different face...
  16. wisernow

    Summer vacations

    Tofino on Vancouver Island. A very magical, spiritual place. Love it and hope my ashes will be scattered there someday.
  17. wisernow

    How long did it take you to finally make a change

    I agree with the others. Often times there is an event that finally triggers that enough is enough. Everyone's time is different. However may I suggest a couple of things? Please get yourself to a therapist for self care, boundary setting, and rediscovering what is healthy and what is not...
  18. wisernow

    I think I may have lost my son today

    Thinking of you Baggy Bags. I know this is really hard stuff but standing your ground to not allowing someone who is violent in your home shows respect for yourself and also shows him that you mean business. He needs to face the natural consequences of his actions. Again these are his choices...
  19. wisernow

    Finally signed over custody

    I am sorry you are going through this but please know YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM! It took a ton of courage to take the steps you have taken, and you are protecting your family from someone who has caused much heart ache, pain and destruction. That to me is an act of love. Sometimes its best when...
  20. wisernow

    Definitely lost ds last night.

    So sorry to hear but you are doing the right thing. He must face the natural consequences for his actions. The fact that as his parents and the police you were all giving him one more chance and he chooses not to follow through by staying out all nite...that just speaks to the utter disrespect...
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