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  1. Toomanytears

    No Ho-Ho-Ho’s this year..

    Leafy, I don’t know where the last 20 years have gone.. no kidding. We have been so fully consumed by our adult children. Years never to get back. We deal with the guilt of all the years trying to help our son (25 to be exact) and realizing many times that we weren’t “ helping” at all. This is a...
  2. Toomanytears

    No Ho-Ho-Ho’s this year..

    Thank you RN.. no doubt she has relapsed. She was going strong in her recovery. But thinking back, even at the height of using ( skeletal and roughly 89lbs) she still held her job which was her lifeline. She loved it and felt she truly was making a difference. For her to give that up this past...
  3. Toomanytears

    No Ho-Ho-Ho’s this year..

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m practicing most of the above. We ( hubby and I) suffer from decades of PTSD and know how our mind can “take over” the darkest of thoughts. We do believe & pray His Will. It is about quieting the mind for both an incarcerated son AND a daughter that showed few...
  4. Toomanytears

    No Ho-Ho-Ho’s this year..

    Well, good morning group. It’s been a long time since I have posted. About a year ago we were waiting for our son to return from a year of treatment to be sentenced for a crime. Long story short, he did run for two weeks after his sentencing date. Only by our prayers being answered ( round the...
  5. Toomanytears

    A Letter from an Addict to His Family...

    It’s been 10 days since my Christmas Eve meltdown. girlfriend is STILL with son at daughter’s house. Son did walk up Xmas Eve for a visit. Xmas day son spent the afternoon/early evening with his son here..(about 5 hrs) that’s all the time allotted this year with grandson due to his ex’s family...
  6. Toomanytears

    Is your home organized and comfortable?

    Copa.. The irony. I’ve been having this conversation with my husband for the past 2 days. You see, when I feel I have little control over certain things in my life, I clean (or organize) ..it’s my way of coping. I inherited many items when my Mom passed 6 years ago. These items are from my...
  7. Toomanytears

    A Letter from an Addict to His Family...

    Found out 2 hours ago girlfriend flew in last night and is staying at sister’s house. I blew a gasket. Called off our Christmas Eve gathering tonight. Sister feels in the middle. I apologized to her and asked her and fiancé to please still come up. They may or may not. Son doesn’t understand why we...
  8. Toomanytears

    Ahh...Christmas.

    I certainly do. I feel the absence and he IS here.
  9. Toomanytears

    A Letter from an Addict to His Family...

    Merry Christmas Eve to you all… Thank you for responding to me. Quiet day here yesterday. Woke up yesterday and decided to ask son in the late morning if he’d like to work on a project in the garage with me. He told me sisters boyfriend was in the garage also and that he was getting up and I...
  10. Toomanytears

    Guilted into forging on??

    I found this excerpt from an article this morning. It was about politics and having different views within the family. Can this also be the same feelings for the substance abuser and his family? “It’s strange ― with romantic attachments, we’re taught to recognize the red flags and act...
  11. Toomanytears

    A Letter from an Addict to His Family...

    Oh my.. thank you for keeping in touch with me. I feel so “needy” right now. We are just hours now before Christmas Eve and I believe I just came to the realization that I don’t know this man ( my son) any longer. The drugs that he has been prescribed ( and his decades of drug abuse ) has...
  12. Toomanytears

    A Letter from an Addict to His Family...

    Hi friends.. On way to the airport. He is on flight and made it through the connector flight. (Whew)! Should see him with our own eyes in 10 mins. Scooping him up and getting to Suboxone Dr on way from airport. Thank you for your thoughts & prayers. PS. He is ALONE!
  13. Toomanytears

    A Letter from an Addict to His Family...

    Update : Uber responded today that they found his ID in the drivers car along with earphones and wallet (which was empty and had only ID). In the meantime, he went to the post office to pick up the ID we sent and they told him “we know it’s here but can’t locate it.” Believe it or not that was...
  14. Toomanytears

    The Insanity Continues...

    Thank you mentalcase.. I see your sons age and I pray that you will follow through on all the harshest punishments that the law can deliver to him NOW. We DID have our son arrested numerous times in his teens, placed by courts into juvenile detention centers, boot camps & more. Our son had...
  15. Toomanytears

    The Insanity Continues...

    I’m sorry friends. I had posted a brief update on the forum ‘A Letter from an Addict to his family” a day or two ago. As of this morning, still with girlfriend. His license ID we sent priority express mail (that required a signature) last Thursday can not be found at the Post Office. After reviewing...
  16. Toomanytears

    A Letter from an Addict to His Family...

    As of this morning not one thing has changed. The copy of his ID we sent ( last Thursday overnight express) has not been signed for and Post Office won’t pick up our calls. It is the busiest day of the year and calls are forwarded to a “call center.” We reached out to them last night, they took...
  17. Toomanytears

    A Letter from an Addict to His Family...

    Copa & Swot.. I think we are all tired... lol. Thank you for reinforcing what I know in my gut. I directed her last week (before our very last conversation we will ever have) to contact her local church for help, a woman’s group within that church, shelters and her extended family. Her...
  18. Toomanytears

    A Letter from an Addict to His Family...

    Thank you Copa.. I’m sitting here tonight with tears running down my cheeks, feeling like I want to punch something or scream to the heavens for an acceptable answer to this misery. Son is still not home. I had my 58th birthday yesterday .. my husband used that as “leverage” to try and get...
  19. Toomanytears

    A Letter from an Addict to His Family...

    I thought this letter was well written and very informative. It’s shared from the Addict’s perspective and is brutally honest... A LETTER TO MY FAMILY I want to introduce myself to you; I’m your qualifier and the reason you’re here. You believe just because you gave me life and raised me...
  20. Toomanytears

    The Insanity Continues...

    Tired out.. thank you. I agree with you. I appreciate ALL of the input offered by the “team members” in this forum. As stated above, I draw strength from the different opinions and share them with my husband in the quiet hours of the evening. I feel terrible that contention seemed to briefly...
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