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Really happy for you LBL. I’m glad things are going well.

Hi Nature, I really feel for you. I can understand how easy it is to slip back into enabling again as I have done it myself so many times and continue to do so up to a point. You want your son to be so different. You want him to be safe and not suffering. It hurts you more than it hurts him to...

I’m really happy for you. Time to have a well deserved rest

Laker 16 - you are in no way selfish to not want to care for your son for the rest of your life. It would be exhausting for you and wouldn’t allow him to develop independence. I’ve been a mental health nurse for almost 30 years. Most adults aren’t discharged from hospital to their parents...

Hi DM, welcome to this site, you will find so much support here. I’ve only been here a few weeks myself. My son was also verbally abusive towards me (he still is). I know that horrible feeling of walking on egg shells in your own home. My son is 20 now and I put him out at 19 (and took out a...

Hi tryingaunt, I live in the UK so I don’t know if it’s the same where you live. Here, if he refused to leave, the police could be called to assist. He can only be made to leave though and can’t be forced to go to his mum’s. It is completely up to your dad if he doesn’t want him to live there...

Hi OB, I also agree that this does sound like she may have autism. My son has mild autism and although he did not have those problems, his friend did and eventually refused to leave the house unless it was with his mum- this boy wasn’t diagnosed until he was 16 and they were frantic to know...

Great news LBL, best wishes to you

SW - I so get what you’re saying. I have barely spoken to my oldest brother for almost 4 years because I dread what I would say when he asks after my son. He lives around a 4 hour drive away. His adult sons are very successful and he would never begin to understand what we are going through. I...

Thank you LIS. We always live in hope that our difficult adult children will change. One day I hope to look back on these years and feel thankful that things got better.

Thank you Leafy for your support. I pray too and it helps me. I agree that looking after ourselves is so important and often it is all we can really control.

Hi SWOT, yes, there are no adult services for autism in my area. Mental health services don’t think he falls under their care and adult social care referred him to learning disabilities services but I doubt his difficulties will be considered severe enough for them to take him on either...

Thank you SRTL, my son stole from us too - often. I had hiding places for my jewellery, money, even his grandads war medals (he pawned them once and I bought them back). Although it’s been 10 months since we put him out, it still feels a bit strange not having to hide things. He would steal...

RE and LBL - thank you. Your support is just what I need. Detaching is a gradual process for me and yesterday my mothering instincts got in the way as he had been beaten up and I quickly found myself in his chaos and attempts to manipulate me again. I am apprehensive at posting on here...

Thank you RN0441 and strangeworld, your support is really welcome tonight and helps me a lot. Today has shaken me up and I’m torn between worrying about him, anger at his friends and despair at him for continuing to run up drug debts and blame me for everything. My mind seems to jump from one...

Things have felt a bit more stable since my son has a flat and is no longer homeless, I have been feeling happier again and had some respite from his drama. Today however, he came to my house. He rang the bell and though I didn’t let him in, I told him to go down the road and I would pick him...

GStorm - Please don’t feel too bad about how you have helped your son financially. Most of us here have done things that we deeply regret, feeling that we are helping our adult kids but realising afterwards that we wish we hadn’t - hindsight is a wonderful thing. You recognise this and are...

That’s such good news LBL, I’m glad things are looking better.

Crayola13 - My son was in a shared house with a much older heroin user when he was homeless - the hostel is closed so the council housed him there. He has a rented flat and lives alone now though but his unpleasant friends have gone round at times and stayed over once.

LBL - I can imagine your frustration at him when he wouldn’t get up. I have been there so many times and I would be up early running round preparing his breakfast, trying to make things run smoothly when he had school, college, an exam, work etc and he would lie there oblivious, he would be...