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General Parenting
1/2 way thru......
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<blockquote data-quote="busywend" data-source="post: 56901" data-attributes="member: 391"><p>Well, first I think you need to describe the changes in your household right now. He needs to start thinking about what your home must be like without him there. Perhaps painful, but I am betting he already has a picture in his mind as to what home is like. I bet it is not the way you would describe it today. </p><p>If it is less stressful without him there (as if it couldn't be, right?!) then he needs to hear that it is. Get specific. </p><p></p><p>When he is released you will be able to refer to way the house runs now. </p><p></p><p>Once he is home you can point out how is is changing the household dynamic and that you want to find a way to keep it the way it was. Be ready with suggestions for him and his reactions. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Do not feel bad for feeling relief at his absence. He may actually feel relief at being away from the home himself. It is OK. He needs to know his feelings are OK, too. It does not mean there is no love. </p><p></p><p></p><p>You really can not dictate his actions to him. He still needs to learn by mistakes. I think at his age you can prepare him now for your role in his life when he is released. If you plan to make suggestions on the decision you feel he should make but it is up to him - then prepare him for that now. He should have a clear picture of what life will be like at home before he even leaves Residential Treatment Center (RTC).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="busywend, post: 56901, member: 391"] Well, first I think you need to describe the changes in your household right now. He needs to start thinking about what your home must be like without him there. Perhaps painful, but I am betting he already has a picture in his mind as to what home is like. I bet it is not the way you would describe it today. If it is less stressful without him there (as if it couldn't be, right?!) then he needs to hear that it is. Get specific. When he is released you will be able to refer to way the house runs now. Once he is home you can point out how is is changing the household dynamic and that you want to find a way to keep it the way it was. Be ready with suggestions for him and his reactions. Do not feel bad for feeling relief at his absence. He may actually feel relief at being away from the home himself. It is OK. He needs to know his feelings are OK, too. It does not mean there is no love. You really can not dictate his actions to him. He still needs to learn by mistakes. I think at his age you can prepare him now for your role in his life when he is released. If you plan to make suggestions on the decision you feel he should make but it is up to him - then prepare him for that now. He should have a clear picture of what life will be like at home before he even leaves Residential Treatment Center (RTC). [/QUOTE]
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