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Parent Emeritus
10 Days Since I Kicked him out - so far so good.
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 664470" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I totally agree that your first priority right now is you! This journey is so difficult for us parents and I have found that at different times different things feel like the right things to do. So what becomes really important is knowing yourself, being true to yourself and your values and let that guide you. There is no one way that is right forr every parent, every addict and every situation. Your son is still young (same age as my son) and so lots of things can change. I have gone through the gamut of feelings you describe and honestly I went through phases where I totally lost hope and didnt feel there would ever be a change.</p><p></p><p>And even in those times of lost hope, total disgust and intense dislike of who he had become I still knew that I loved my son and I let that guide me. So there was a point where we had to draw the line and not help him at all even if it meant him being homeless in the middle of winter in Denver.... but I knew helping him would just continue the drug use and that was not good for him so even those decisions were guided by my love, although he would not have seen it that way at the time.</p><p></p><p>The thing about mothers and children though is that we love them unconfitionally but it is not an equal thing... they dont love us the same way we love them. They love us but it is in a different way. </p><p></p><p>So right now you can love him and if you are so moved let him know that, but dont expect at least for now for him to love you in return.... especially if you are making hard choices that he doesnt like.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 664470, member: 15801"] I totally agree that your first priority right now is you! This journey is so difficult for us parents and I have found that at different times different things feel like the right things to do. So what becomes really important is knowing yourself, being true to yourself and your values and let that guide you. There is no one way that is right forr every parent, every addict and every situation. Your son is still young (same age as my son) and so lots of things can change. I have gone through the gamut of feelings you describe and honestly I went through phases where I totally lost hope and didnt feel there would ever be a change. And even in those times of lost hope, total disgust and intense dislike of who he had become I still knew that I loved my son and I let that guide me. So there was a point where we had to draw the line and not help him at all even if it meant him being homeless in the middle of winter in Denver.... but I knew helping him would just continue the drug use and that was not good for him so even those decisions were guided by my love, although he would not have seen it that way at the time. The thing about mothers and children though is that we love them unconfitionally but it is not an equal thing... they dont love us the same way we love them. They love us but it is in a different way. So right now you can love him and if you are so moved let him know that, but dont expect at least for now for him to love you in return.... especially if you are making hard choices that he doesnt like. [/QUOTE]
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10 Days Since I Kicked him out - so far so good.
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