100 Acre Wood Update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, May 7, 2008.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Sorry I haven't been around much. The younger 3 and I are living at my grandparents and her web access is erratic. Kanga is living at home with husband.

    The good...

    ...Kanga has 2 interviews tomorrow with RTCs with open beds

    The bad...

    ...Eeyore's anxiety is through the roof and he's begun using a 'bedroom' activity to deal with it

    The ugly...

    ...I had extreme chest pains and was hospitalized for 3 days, likely a small blood clot and continued lung problems due to reflux

    ...husband is so NOT on the same page. He wants me to take care of all kid related difficult child stuff, but then is so passive-aggressive about it. He complained because I wouldn't do the interviews until my mom got back in town to watch Tigger. He thought that we should put Kanga and Tigger in the same car for over 4 hours. He did NOTHING for me when I was hospitalized - not even one flower.

    ...husband's dad hit Tigger when he was babysitting while I was in the hospital

    ...work is very stressful and will remain so for another 3-4 weeks

    I hope everyone else is doing better...
  2. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Gosh Pooh - what a plate full.

    First...:flowers::gifts:I'm glad you are out of the hospital. What are they doing about the clot? That really strikes a nerve with me that you are home and they know there is a clot.

    Second...You should sign your husband up for Empathy 101. Somewhere on the board under a post from our dear Esther there are mens classes at the Learning Center. I know it wasn't nice what he did, and being a man isn't a 'pass' on being empathetic, but it can make you appreciate how much you really do and have survived without his help. In short - he's trying to do 1/3 your job and well - the handwriting is on the wall isnt' it. You could just slap a big ol' bumper sticker on his head that said FAIL. - Just know you are the only one who can do what you do, like you do, and you should be appreciated more. Maybe 2 stickers - FAIL on the forehead and FLOWERS U poot on the hand.

    Good good about Kanga. Had visions of a Tasmanian Devil and a Badger when you said Kanga and Ey in the car together for 4 hours.

    I think when K is in a place that she can be safe and all can be safe - Tigger will stop being a "jerk". Know what I mean??

    Whats up with Gpa smacking the boy? NO NO NO. Someone needs to be told NAught AH - AINT GONNA HAPPEN EVER. I'd take Motel 6 over that - maybe talk to his wife? I dunno.

    I'm glad you reported in - I have had you in my thoughts -
    Keeping vibes comeing your way for K. E, T, and you.

  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Hi Star,

    I think you got Eeyore and Tigger mixed up, but I agree with the thought. (Tigger isn't even close to puberty yet :)

    They dosed me with blood thinners and then ran some (I'm sure very expensive) nuclear test and the clot was gone. They probably sucked it out with the million blood draws LOL.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh my JJJ,

    What a few weeks you have been having. First, I'm glad you are feeling better. I'm sorry the kiddos are struggling-hope and Residential Treatment Center (RTC) works out for Kanga soon. As for husband-I'm sorry he is being such a passive aggressive, non helper right now. Hugs.
  5. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    I am sending you a huge cyper vase full of roses. I sure hope Kanga gets her placement soon and you can try to get back home with the rest of the family. You carry much too heavy of a load to have to deal with any health issues, sorry you had to go through that but glad to hear you are out of the hospital.
  6. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    JJJ, you have simply been having too much fun - NOT!

    Gosh, I'm really so sorry to hear about the clot! Do they still have you on blood thinners? Did they do a workup for hypercoagulable state? I'm so worried about you - know that these past many months especially must have you just worn to the bone.

    Husbands. I chalk it up to a genetic defect, quite frankly. ;) We recently had our own little dust up around here about who takes care of what, specifically what *his* role is (pick up the parts of my brain that fall out) since he is seemingly incapable of efficiently and effectively dealing with any kid issue not related to sports. In other words, we do it my way, period. He doesn't like it, there's the filing cabinet with IEPs and medication reports out the ears - have at it. And you know that just ain't gonna happen. ;)

    Take care of yourself. Glad to hear you're still kicking. Hope interviews go well and she is placed soon. A gentle hug to you!
  7. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Gosh that STINKS.:dissapointed:
    So sorry!
    I can't believe that husband's dad hit tigger - oh wait - yes I can because my dad hit my kid. Geesh.

    Please feel better, take care, and know I am sending you a mega load of cyber hugs.
  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    It's not easy. I'd be having a go at talking to G'pa, maybe give him a list of alternative strategies he can try. Let him know it's not you getting at him and setting weird standards of 'no smacking' - make it clear that CPS has the same standards, and the last thing you need is for CPS to sniff around just because G'pa smacks. Let him know that in some countries (such as New Zealand) smacking your kids, even in your own home, is illegal. Times have changed.

    And about Eeyore's "bedroom activities" - try not to stress about it too much. At 12, he's not too young. difficult child 3 started at about 12. He would loudly announce to me (in his own very frank way) that he had at last reached that stage of puberty, and that he had changed his bedding, his pyjamas and underpants already; "Mum, I'm running out of bed sheets." At 14, he's now a bit more discreet especially since I explained that if he plans ahead, he can clean up more efficiently by using tissues.

    difficult child 3 is physically in puberty, but emotionally is still a young child. We were catching trains to and from the city today (school excursion) and he was feeling tired so he laid his head on my shoulder - several times. It's not what a 14 year old boy usually does in public!

  9. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Triple J,

    My gosh! When it rains it pours. I'm sorry to hear you've been ill. As to husband, I agree with Sue ~ my husband struggles with any of the difficult child stuff. The best he can do & does is take kt or wm to therapist appts. And that has been only in the last 4 months or so.

    IEP's would kill him. Treatment plans ~ what's that?

    As to flowers in the hospital, it didn't happen. I took that time as respite & let husband appreciate the "wonders" of being a mom to a difficult child. I believe he came out the other end with a greater appreciation.

    Sending ((((hugs))) this morning & positive thoughts that things settle down a bit. That a bed for Kanga is found soon.
  10. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    JJJ, all I can do is shake my head and send many gentle {{{hugs}}}.