11 years old brother wants constant attention

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Midnight, Aug 9, 2013.

  1. Midnight

    Midnight New Member


    I'm new here, so I apologize if this is not the place to write this.

    As the title states, my 11 years old brother won't leave us alone. He either plays with the computer and the PS2 or nags me to play with him. He is clumsy and aggressive. I tell him that he can play for an hour and he starts to beg to let him play a bit more. My mother and I usually let him and when we tell him to save the game shut it down, he just won't do it....He keeps playing and I have to threaten him that I will unplug the easy child or PS2 and all his saves will be lost. Usually that is when he gets really mean and aggressive. He talks back and sometimes hits too

    He doesn't like to read, to draw or anything really. When he was younger I taught him many things, because I was living at home. But now I don't have the time or the patience. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder 4 years ago while in middle school. I crumbled in on myself, didn't talk much, wanted to sleep all day, etc. To years after I was diagnosed, my parents sent me to a different town to study. I was rarely at home. And now 2 months ago I finished my education and moved back in. Everything just got worse. I get really angry or depressed for no reason.... And my family won't understand this. They say I'm only over exaggerating and nothing is wrong. They pressure me to play with my brother and look for a job and help around the house and .....with everything really. And when they get bored with my brother constant nagging, they send him to me and yell at me if I don't play with him for like an hour. And still that is not enough. They tell me that my brother is scared of me and I don't even know why..?
    A few weeks ago I caught my brother watching porn on the internet and I told my mother, because I didn't know how to deal with the situation and she basically yelled my head off. She told me that it wouldn't have happened if I didn't show him games on the internet. I was speechless. Next day she told my brother that she saw his internet history and if he doesn't stop watching porn, the police will come and take him...I don't think that was the best solution. But whatever......

    I realise I blabbed too much and I apologise, but I simply don't know what to do anymore.

    ~ The middle kid.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi. How old are you? Can you get your mother on here to explain her position? There is NOTHING you can do since you are not legally in charge of him.

    As for yourself, your parents may not believe you, but I do. I had a horrible time with depression for a good deal of my life. Are you in treatment? On any medications? Are you over eighteen? Is it possible you could live somewhere else if you are? The situation with your parents home does not seem healthy for you and I know how bad you feel when depressed and anxious. It is a big black hole that you feel you can never climb out of and drama and noise are not good for it...

    I do think that if you are living there, you do have to get a job, even if you are very depressed. It will make you feel better and get you out of the house. You also can't pawn off your chores. Depression didn't stop me from doing both of those things, no matter how badly I felt. As long as you are there, you apparently will get grief from your parents if you don't amuse your brother. That is something I disagree with. You shouldn't be responsible for him. He is THEIR child, not yours.
  3. Midnight

    Midnight New Member

    Thank you for your reply!

    Unfortunately my mother doesn't speak English. This is why I hesitated writing on this forum. I know that hearing my part only is not enough.

    Whenever I talk to her my mother tells me that he is my little brother and I have to play with him, which is fine, but not all the time! And it's not that I have a problem with my chores...I only have a problem with her attitude. Like she tells me to do something and I tell her that I will do that in a minute and she becomes really angry and tells me to do it right now....I'm not a little kid anymore, she doesn't have to order me around.

    I'm 20 years old and currently looking for a job. I refused to take any medications and I didn't consult with a psychiatrist either. I'm very stubborn, I believe that I can solve my own problems...I just need some time to think.
    Sadly I can't live anywhere else, because I don't have the money but I plan on moving...I even considered working abroad, just to get away from here, which makes me even more depressed actually. I don't have a place that I can call "home", where I'm relaxed...
    I'm either hyper and want to do everything (these times I play with my brother until he "collapses" :) I tire him out with running around and stuff like that) or sad (mood swings, anger management problems....these times I just want to be alone and close my eyes and think about better days).

    But what should I tell my brother? What can he do alone?
    (We live in a small village and his friends from school are not close to us, so...)
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    What country do you live in? It doesn't sound like the US. That would help us, especially if somebody else here is from that country.
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sadly, unless your brother realizes his struggles and wants to change, there is nothing you can do. Short of pulling out your phone and taking a video when he gets aggressive and disrespectful so you can show him (when he is totally calmed down), your hands are tied. I respect your concern for your brother.