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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 8689" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>My husband is my difficult child's real father, and there were times in the midst of difficult child still living home and us discovering his addiction that my husband got very tired of difficult child being the center of everyone's life, and he too did not want to hear another word about him at times. I had trouble dealing with it at the time, but now when I look back at it, I can kind of understand how he got to that point. Sometimes we put so much time and energy into trying to fix our difficult child's problems, that we neglect the ones around us who are doing what they need to do with their lives. My easy child daughter was very resentful at times also, and it took a really good counselor to get me to see that I needed to find an in between and take care of myself as well as the rest of my family and not be so totally focused on difficult child that everyone else was pushed to the side. It is not easy to do, in fact it is very difficult, because there were times I felt so drained by difficult child that I resented anyone else needing something from me. If your difficult child is being disrespectful to you in your home, then your husband is probably tired of watching what this is doing to you and everyone else around you. </p><p></p><p>Please don't feel I'm telling you that you are doing something wrong, because believe me, I have been there done that. I have done everything you are doing now and didn't realize the negative impact it was having on everyone around me until I was able to detatch and step back a little and really look at what my home life had turned into. </p><p></p><p>Your difficult child is over 18 and I think at this point you need to step back a little and allow him to fail if that is what he chooses. You can't do this for him and he needs to learn the consequences. It is so much easier for him to blame you then it is for him to take responsibility of his life and what he is choosing to do with it. I think that is one huge trait of a difficult child, blaming everyone else around them, and it takes a long time before they can begin taking responsibility for their own actions. My difficult child is going to be 20 next month and he's just starting to learn this, but he's getting pretty good at it :smile:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 8689, member: 2442"] My husband is my difficult child's real father, and there were times in the midst of difficult child still living home and us discovering his addiction that my husband got very tired of difficult child being the center of everyone's life, and he too did not want to hear another word about him at times. I had trouble dealing with it at the time, but now when I look back at it, I can kind of understand how he got to that point. Sometimes we put so much time and energy into trying to fix our difficult child's problems, that we neglect the ones around us who are doing what they need to do with their lives. My easy child daughter was very resentful at times also, and it took a really good counselor to get me to see that I needed to find an in between and take care of myself as well as the rest of my family and not be so totally focused on difficult child that everyone else was pushed to the side. It is not easy to do, in fact it is very difficult, because there were times I felt so drained by difficult child that I resented anyone else needing something from me. If your difficult child is being disrespectful to you in your home, then your husband is probably tired of watching what this is doing to you and everyone else around you. Please don't feel I'm telling you that you are doing something wrong, because believe me, I have been there done that. I have done everything you are doing now and didn't realize the negative impact it was having on everyone around me until I was able to detatch and step back a little and really look at what my home life had turned into. Your difficult child is over 18 and I think at this point you need to step back a little and allow him to fail if that is what he chooses. You can't do this for him and he needs to learn the consequences. It is so much easier for him to blame you then it is for him to take responsibility of his life and what he is choosing to do with it. I think that is one huge trait of a difficult child, blaming everyone else around them, and it takes a long time before they can begin taking responsibility for their own actions. My difficult child is going to be 20 next month and he's just starting to learn this, but he's getting pretty good at it [img]:smile:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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