Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
12 Signs You May Be "Helping" Too Much
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 695660" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Reading through the article reaffirms the path I have <em>finally</em> taken after years and years of over helping. It is not easy, but, neither is the latter. <em>Over helping</em>. My kids started out ok, but quickly slid into the same bad habits and then chaos eventually erupted with their choices spilling over into my house.</p><p>I remember well <em>not wanting to be in my own home.</em></p><p>Sunday night we had a terrible tropical storm hit, 10 inches of rain, lightning, thunder. I thought of my two, my grands, prayed they were safe.</p><p>I realized that there was nothin<em>g I could do for them that they weren't capable to do for themselves</em>. If I continually go to rescue or overhelping mode,<em> they won't make the necessary changes to help themselves</em>.</p><p>It is akin to going from a tricycle to a two wheeler but never removing the training wheels. There comes a time when I have to remove those training wheels and let go. So, I stopped over thinking and worrying. That is not helpful to anyone.</p><p>It's not easy to watch them fall, to know that they have ridden on rocky dangerous paths that have caused them so much strife.</p><p>How will they choose differently if I am constantly there to rescue them? How will they learn to have self respect if I allow them to take away my own?</p><p>We are all on the most difficult journey, but if we continually lay our own lives down, to give our d cs a hand up, and <em>they tread upon us,</em> expecting hand out upon hand out, what is to come of them when we are no longer here?</p><p>I am determined to keep from overhelping, it is not only a detriment to myself, but for my two, my greatest hope and wish for them is to find their purpose and their way. Time and circumstance has shown me <em>that does not happen when I step in</em>. I suppose that I have learned this the hard way. If I don't change my response and reaction, it lessens their chance to really spread their wings and fly.</p><p>Thank you so much for this article, Alb, it is a very good reminder for me.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 695660, member: 19522"] Reading through the article reaffirms the path I have [I]finally[/I] taken after years and years of over helping. It is not easy, but, neither is the latter. [I]Over helping[/I]. My kids started out ok, but quickly slid into the same bad habits and then chaos eventually erupted with their choices spilling over into my house. I remember well [I]not wanting to be in my own home.[/I] Sunday night we had a terrible tropical storm hit, 10 inches of rain, lightning, thunder. I thought of my two, my grands, prayed they were safe. I realized that there was nothin[I]g I could do for them that they weren't capable to do for themselves[/I]. If I continually go to rescue or overhelping mode,[I] they won't make the necessary changes to help themselves[/I]. It is akin to going from a tricycle to a two wheeler but never removing the training wheels. There comes a time when I have to remove those training wheels and let go. So, I stopped over thinking and worrying. That is not helpful to anyone. It's not easy to watch them fall, to know that they have ridden on rocky dangerous paths that have caused them so much strife. How will they choose differently if I am constantly there to rescue them? How will they learn to have self respect if I allow them to take away my own? We are all on the most difficult journey, but if we continually lay our own lives down, to give our d cs a hand up, and [I]they tread upon us,[/I] expecting hand out upon hand out, what is to come of them when we are no longer here? I am determined to keep from overhelping, it is not only a detriment to myself, but for my two, my greatest hope and wish for them is to find their purpose and their way. Time and circumstance has shown me [I]that does not happen when I step in[/I]. I suppose that I have learned this the hard way. If I don't change my response and reaction, it lessens their chance to really spread their wings and fly. Thank you so much for this article, Alb, it is a very good reminder for me. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
12 Signs You May Be "Helping" Too Much
Top