Those poor kids! I include the baby in this.
People will blame the kids but from what I read, ifany blame lies anywhere (and I'm not sure it's appropriate to assign blame at this stage) then it's perhaps the lack of understanding of sex and the consequences. You don't necessarily think that your son who is so young and looks it, is needing THAT talk just yet. A lot of parents fall down in their duty here. If you have a difficult child you're MORE likely to ensure your child knows the facts. It's the easy child kids, the decent quiet kids, who are more likely to be caught out by circumstances.
difficult child 3 looked a lot like that boy, when he was 12 and 13. If you see "The Black balloon" you will see difficult child 3 as 'Noah' (school drama production) and he looks a great deal younger than the 13 he turned, the day after filming. He still looks very young, but at 15 difficult child 3's voice has broken and he's been hit with teen acne and the more angular, adolescent face. But otherwise - reading what this boy said, I can 'hear' difficult child 3 and how he would react. As responsible as he could be, for his age. But a total innocent.
It's sad. But what's done is done. People are rallying around to help these kids, at the moment it sounds like extended family are doing a lot. There will be good services in place to support them, nationalised health care will make a big difference to how they can cope.
mother in law was a hospital midwife in a rough part of town. She told us of how often she had girls coming in to have 2nd or 3rd babies while still under-age. Some girls were having their 2nd child while as young as 13!
Society and culture does vary a lot too, over the years and from country to country. It sounds like the police here are doing their best to help. Charging either of these kids would be futile and damaging.
I remember when I was in my early teens (it would have been in the late 60s, I remember where we were living at the time and we moved in 1969) I read a newspaper article, with photo, of a couple who had just married. I think they lived in Arkansas, I remember looking up the state on our large atlas. The bride was 8 years old. The photo showed a pretty little girl, glasses and wispy blonde hair (I remembered the wisps, I had wispy hair and glasses too) smiling into his face as she held the hand of her middle-aged husband. In the interview she said she was "very happy". I remember I asked my mother if there was a chance of that happening here (meaning me - I had a very close friend, an old man up the street who turned 70 the day I turned 7, I think I was a bit scared someone would misconstrue our friendship).
From what I recall - the article was in the paper which told me that the couple had gone public, which told me that wherever they were, it was legal. Then. The article said more, but I don't remember it. All I can remember is the picture, I would recognise it again if I saw it.
That was back in the late 60s. Somewhere, that was acceptable. For these kids - they've made a baby. Probably by total accident and out of ignorance. But the baby is here now, the families are doing what they can. As long as they continue to have extended support, there is no reason any of those kids should suffer. They certainly will be understanding the long-term consequences by now!
As I said - those poor kids...
Marg
