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13 yr old difficult child and rap CDs?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 60275" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I've found that information can undermine the attractive value of anything smutty. If I explain what a term means, or explain the background to something, it loses its appeal quite often. For example, when difficult child 1 was getting into porn I sat with him and Googled "dead porn stars" and we read it together, reading all the moral bits about WHY there is such a high death rate, the whole culture of it and how a female porn star has to fight to keep earning for more than a few months, after which she's often on the scrap heap and what job can she get NOW... while a lot of the blokes have their own problems. Looking behind the scenes - it takes out any hint of glamour, so next time he's looking at a porn photo, he'll 'see' the jaded make-up staff with their bottles of goo and colour, the wardrobe people standing around, the cameramen moving in for close-up, The lighting people holding up several of those foil umbrellas and reflectors, the sound guys stopping the action to minutely manipulate a mike here or there, and then the director instructing his actors - "Now, just act naturally."</p><p></p><p>With words to songs - I told my kids that it's easy to rhyme with the standard four-letter words. What takes REAL talent is when they have to rhyme with words of more substance and less over-use.</p><p>But we can't be too silly about it - when we know they are using certain words at school anyway, and if WE use those words ourselves, to ban things containing those words is a bit of a double standard. Of course, if for any one of a number of reasons you have managed to keep your home a swear-free zone, then by all means continue to do so. You have managed to create consistency and it's important to continue it.</p><p></p><p>It's especially difficult when it's your eldest who is just reaching those tricky teen years and you've not been trough it already. I have a family member who is very strict with his daughters and when "Spice World" came out and his elder daughter (aged 13 at the time) wanted to watch it at a friend's house, he wouldn't let her visit because it was immoral - "one of the band members is pregnant, and she's not married." </p><p>The girl was attending a convent school and ironically, the nuns had shown the girls the film at school, in music class.</p><p>So what did the girl do? Went behind her father's back, of course. She figured that if the nuns at school had no problem with it, why should her father?</p><p></p><p>We often have to walk an uneasy tightrope with our kids' movement into adolescence. I find if I familiarise myself with what they're doing, it gives me some warning if there is a problem looming.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 60275, member: 1991"] I've found that information can undermine the attractive value of anything smutty. If I explain what a term means, or explain the background to something, it loses its appeal quite often. For example, when difficult child 1 was getting into porn I sat with him and Googled "dead porn stars" and we read it together, reading all the moral bits about WHY there is such a high death rate, the whole culture of it and how a female porn star has to fight to keep earning for more than a few months, after which she's often on the scrap heap and what job can she get NOW... while a lot of the blokes have their own problems. Looking behind the scenes - it takes out any hint of glamour, so next time he's looking at a porn photo, he'll 'see' the jaded make-up staff with their bottles of goo and colour, the wardrobe people standing around, the cameramen moving in for close-up, The lighting people holding up several of those foil umbrellas and reflectors, the sound guys stopping the action to minutely manipulate a mike here or there, and then the director instructing his actors - "Now, just act naturally." With words to songs - I told my kids that it's easy to rhyme with the standard four-letter words. What takes REAL talent is when they have to rhyme with words of more substance and less over-use. But we can't be too silly about it - when we know they are using certain words at school anyway, and if WE use those words ourselves, to ban things containing those words is a bit of a double standard. Of course, if for any one of a number of reasons you have managed to keep your home a swear-free zone, then by all means continue to do so. You have managed to create consistency and it's important to continue it. It's especially difficult when it's your eldest who is just reaching those tricky teen years and you've not been trough it already. I have a family member who is very strict with his daughters and when "Spice World" came out and his elder daughter (aged 13 at the time) wanted to watch it at a friend's house, he wouldn't let her visit because it was immoral - "one of the band members is pregnant, and she's not married." The girl was attending a convent school and ironically, the nuns had shown the girls the film at school, in music class. So what did the girl do? Went behind her father's back, of course. She figured that if the nuns at school had no problem with it, why should her father? We often have to walk an uneasy tightrope with our kids' movement into adolescence. I find if I familiarise myself with what they're doing, it gives me some warning if there is a problem looming. Marg [/QUOTE]
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