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14 year old molesting a child
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 721059" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>I am so sorry you are here. Unfortunately I do have to agree with SOT. It seems that your son is displaying behavior that he either learned or inherited from his father and his grandfather. It doesn't necessarily mean he was abused by either of them, but perhaps the tendency to molest is passed down from generation to generation. I don't think science has those answers yet.</p><p></p><p>It is so difficult to separate our love for our children from their actions. I second the advice you've received to seek professional help if you can. There may be services available to you free of charge.</p><p></p><p>If your child did what he is accused of doing then sadly, yes, he must be supervised at all times, particularly around children. If this was our situation I'd probably be responding similarly to your SO. I know that must make you feel unsupported, and I am sorry for that. It's a very difficult situation made even more so by the shame and embarrassment any of us would feel.</p><p></p><p>My younger stepson, who is currently recovering from a suicide attempt, was accused of molestation by a friend's parent. It's unclear if the allegations were true. There was never any police involvement. We were told by YS that the mother came to his door and berated him, and told him to stay away from her child.</p><p></p><p>We have wondered if younger stepson and this same-sex friend were perhaps experimenting, but younger stepson has many secrets. We suspect sexuality might be one of them. He has a girlfriend but is very defensive about his sexuality and has stated out of the blue numerous times, that he is not gay. Mind you I am a female and I'm married to his mom, we are a lesbian couple. My stepson and I are very close. I don't know if these two things connect at all in his mind. I bring it up to say that we never know what our children are really thinking, planning or doing. Nothing has taught me that more than my family's nightmare of the last month.</p><p></p><p>Thinking of you, please get help for yourself, you deserve it and it sounds like you need it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 721059, member: 13303"] I am so sorry you are here. Unfortunately I do have to agree with SOT. It seems that your son is displaying behavior that he either learned or inherited from his father and his grandfather. It doesn't necessarily mean he was abused by either of them, but perhaps the tendency to molest is passed down from generation to generation. I don't think science has those answers yet. It is so difficult to separate our love for our children from their actions. I second the advice you've received to seek professional help if you can. There may be services available to you free of charge. If your child did what he is accused of doing then sadly, yes, he must be supervised at all times, particularly around children. If this was our situation I'd probably be responding similarly to your SO. I know that must make you feel unsupported, and I am sorry for that. It's a very difficult situation made even more so by the shame and embarrassment any of us would feel. My younger stepson, who is currently recovering from a suicide attempt, was accused of molestation by a friend's parent. It's unclear if the allegations were true. There was never any police involvement. We were told by YS that the mother came to his door and berated him, and told him to stay away from her child. We have wondered if younger stepson and this same-sex friend were perhaps experimenting, but younger stepson has many secrets. We suspect sexuality might be one of them. He has a girlfriend but is very defensive about his sexuality and has stated out of the blue numerous times, that he is not gay. Mind you I am a female and I'm married to his mom, we are a lesbian couple. My stepson and I are very close. I don't know if these two things connect at all in his mind. I bring it up to say that we never know what our children are really thinking, planning or doing. Nothing has taught me that more than my family's nightmare of the last month. Thinking of you, please get help for yourself, you deserve it and it sounds like you need it. [/QUOTE]
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