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14 year old molesting a child
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 721089" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so sorry that you are going through this. Medicaid usually pays for therapy for children. PLEASE get your son to a therapist as soon as possible. He won't want to go, but it will look good to the courts. Of course check with his attorney. I would place his emotional well being even above the court case, personally, and insist the attorney find a way to make seeing the counselor work well with the court case. </p><p></p><p>It is highly likely your son was abused sexually if his father and grandfather were abusers. Especially if they preferred very young children. Your son may have blocked the memory or forgotten it, or simply been unable to admit it to anyone. I would try contact RAINN to see what resources and insights they could offer you. You can reach them at <a href="http://www.rainn.org" target="_blank">www.rainn.org</a> or 1-800-656-HOPE . You can also contact your local domestic violence organization to see what resources they have to offer. Usually they can connect you with therapists who work with children who have been sexually abused. They also have programs for abusers. </p><p></p><p>You need to keep coming here and talking. You NEED the support. We won't judge you. I promise. We have been through a lot, and we understand. You will hear our stories, and many suggestions. We know that our suggestions and stories won't all apply to your life. Take what works for you and ignore the rest. Don't feel pressured to take every suggestion. We understand that it would be impossible and impractical to do that. Above all, follow your instincts. You have them for a reason. Trust them. </p><p></p><p>I stress this because the times I made really big mistakes with my kids are the times that I ignored my instincts. The doctors and lawyers are experts in their fields of study. You are the expert in your children. You carried them in your body and nurtured them for years. The doctors etc... spend a few minutes at a time with them. If what those doctors are telling you does not make sense to you, or goes against what you believe in or know to be true, follow your instincts. Ask questions until it makes sense. Or say no. Make them come up with a better plan. </p><p></p><p>Things are very new and up in the air right now. Your feelings are very raw, and so are your SO's. I think that a counselor would be a huge help for you, and maybe one for you and SO together. When you face a crisis like this, it either pulls you together or it tears you apart. A counselor can help you come through it together. Many offer sliding scales. All you have to do is ask if they offer sliding scales for fees when you call to make an appointment. If there is a university near you, many have clinics through their psychology departments. Those usually charge based on what you can afford, and even the wealthiest patient pays a fairly low fee. Usually graduate students conduct the therapy sessions but they are supervised by licensed psychologists who have PhD's. Of course the same confidentiality rules apply that would apply at any counselor's office.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to our safe space. I am sorry you needed to find us. It is lovely to meet you. I am sending you a private message. You should see the word "Inbox" in the upper right side of the screen. If you click on it, you will find my message in a few minutes. (((((gentle hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 721089, member: 1233"] I am so sorry that you are going through this. Medicaid usually pays for therapy for children. PLEASE get your son to a therapist as soon as possible. He won't want to go, but it will look good to the courts. Of course check with his attorney. I would place his emotional well being even above the court case, personally, and insist the attorney find a way to make seeing the counselor work well with the court case. It is highly likely your son was abused sexually if his father and grandfather were abusers. Especially if they preferred very young children. Your son may have blocked the memory or forgotten it, or simply been unable to admit it to anyone. I would try contact RAINN to see what resources and insights they could offer you. You can reach them at [URL="http://www.rainn.org"]www.rainn.org[/URL] or 1-800-656-HOPE . You can also contact your local domestic violence organization to see what resources they have to offer. Usually they can connect you with therapists who work with children who have been sexually abused. They also have programs for abusers. You need to keep coming here and talking. You NEED the support. We won't judge you. I promise. We have been through a lot, and we understand. You will hear our stories, and many suggestions. We know that our suggestions and stories won't all apply to your life. Take what works for you and ignore the rest. Don't feel pressured to take every suggestion. We understand that it would be impossible and impractical to do that. Above all, follow your instincts. You have them for a reason. Trust them. I stress this because the times I made really big mistakes with my kids are the times that I ignored my instincts. The doctors and lawyers are experts in their fields of study. You are the expert in your children. You carried them in your body and nurtured them for years. The doctors etc... spend a few minutes at a time with them. If what those doctors are telling you does not make sense to you, or goes against what you believe in or know to be true, follow your instincts. Ask questions until it makes sense. Or say no. Make them come up with a better plan. Things are very new and up in the air right now. Your feelings are very raw, and so are your SO's. I think that a counselor would be a huge help for you, and maybe one for you and SO together. When you face a crisis like this, it either pulls you together or it tears you apart. A counselor can help you come through it together. Many offer sliding scales. All you have to do is ask if they offer sliding scales for fees when you call to make an appointment. If there is a university near you, many have clinics through their psychology departments. Those usually charge based on what you can afford, and even the wealthiest patient pays a fairly low fee. Usually graduate students conduct the therapy sessions but they are supervised by licensed psychologists who have PhD's. Of course the same confidentiality rules apply that would apply at any counselor's office. Welcome to our safe space. I am sorry you needed to find us. It is lovely to meet you. I am sending you a private message. You should see the word "Inbox" in the upper right side of the screen. If you click on it, you will find my message in a few minutes. (((((gentle hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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