14 yo daughter - sex, not drugs

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Mad and Sad and Then Some, Oct 10, 2009.

  1. I'm shocked by what I'm reading here. I'm sooooo grateful we're not dealing with substance issues. I truly thought this couldn't get much worse. Thanks for the reality. I DO feel better.

    But we are at the end of a long rope on ODD issues with our adopted (at 3) daughter. Sexual, honesty, responsibility, honor, schoolwork, etc.

    But maybe I should just be grateful that we're not yet dealing with the nightmarish stories you're all suffering with.

    Does anyone know a better site that I should be on?

    And I'd like to send my profoundist sympathies for your suffering. Maybe I'll just go cry now.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    This is the best site there is on the internet for struggling kids (seriously), I would post this on "General" since she is only fourteen. I personally think fourteen year old sex is a huge deal. And it's a problem all over. Although I had NO idea when my older daughter started smoking pot at 12. I didn't know the extent of her drug use until she quit at 19. But she really didn't get sexually involved until her late teens. So we are kind of reversed.

    I also adopted four kids. Why not post on "General" and tell us more about your daughter? Was she abused before she came to you? Any history on the birth family? Was she exposed to drugs/alcohol in utero? Has she ever had a neuropsychologist evaluation? Does she have attachment issues. Is she from foster care, or did she live in an orphanage in another country? We adopted both from foster care and abroad.

    Most of us here don't feel ODD stands by itself or is a helpful diagnosis, but I'll let you find out if you choose to continue posting. And I think you should. You'll get a lot of good help.

    I have a thirteen year old (also adopted) and I'd be appalled if she was involved in sex, but she's an easy kid. Now ask me about my 25 year old before she matured and we have a whole other story. She was also adopted (from Korea). Both were infant adoptions. If you look at my signature below you can see an overview of my family.

    Welcome to the board :)
  3. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Hi and welcome.

    You've landed on a truly wonderful supportive sight. As your daughter is exhibiting some behaviors that others might be better able to help with, I'm going to move this to our General Forum. You can look for more replies there.

    Again, welcome.

  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi, I was a difficult child who got into sex before I got into drinking and doing drugs back in the 70's. I dont consider that I had a substance abuse problem because when I turned grew up and knew that the law could come after me, I put all that down and said...no more...time to grow up! I dont like cages...lol. I never had a problem stopping the drugs either. It was all teen rebellion on my part. Or just part of what my peers were doing so I did it too.

    I think you will find a lot of help here. Sex at 14 is a huge red flag for problems.
  5. lmf64

    lmf64 New Member

    No crying allowed. Hugs are welcome. Okay, so there are days when we all just want to sit and cry, but in the long run it doesn't do any good. You are in the right place. This group has saved more than lives, it's saved my sanity on more than one occasion. Come back. Get to know us and let us get to know you and your family. There are horror stories here, but there are also success stories.
  6. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    Hi, MSTS, and welcome.

    Your site name is a great description of how we all feel. Being a parent of a "differently wired" child is not for the faint of heart, especially when they reach their teens. This is a great place for information, answers, ideas and encouragement. Most important, you will not be considered a bad parent because your child has behavioral issues.

    I don't always post a lot about my son, but I like hanging out here because I feel I'm not riding this rollercoaster alone. And I learn a lot from others' posts that apply to my situation. I'm very grateful for that!

    Can you tell us more about your daughter and her ODD behaviors? Has she had any formal evaluation by a child/adolescent psychiatrist or other specialist? Does she take any medications?

    Sorry for what you're going through. You have a whole team of "warrior parents" ready to offer their support.