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15 year old who is Passive Aggressive Antisocial traits and Conduct Disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 636849" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Very interesting, Katherine. It's hard to say whether he is just feeding you what you want to hear.</p><p>If he is, then at least you know you can get him to follow your rules. For example, "If you want more minutes on your phone, you have to clean your room. That means all books and toys off the floor, and all dirty clothes in the laundry room." You have to be VERY specific. Some part of his brain is just not registering.</p><p></p><p>This sounds exactly like my son:</p><p><em>he acted, as if though he was going to hit me. Fist clinched, body pushed forward like a cat</em></p><p></p><p>We talked about that a lot in therapy. I also gave my son a tour of juv. det. (They were soooo nice to him, and the officer kept saying, "He's a good kid. He doesn't need this tour." Arrgh! These kids are the Great Pretenders.)</p><p>We had to create consequences for the "Attack Stance." I can't recall now, maybe taking away TV for a week or something. We prefer to have to act match the consequences but sometimes you just have to go for the gut. And Electronics is my son's middle name. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>One of the things that scared my son the most was "sending him away" when he attacked me. He saw me typing on the computer and searching for boys' homes and military schools. THAT really had an impact.</p><p>But he is adopted, too, so there are some attachment issues, I'm sure.</p><p></p><p>Does your son ever, at all, express remorse when you cry or anything? My son does, but it took a long time. (Don't know if I typed you a note about the time one of the dogs died and he said, "Can I go outside and play now?") He'd look at me strangely and just stay away from me. As he got older and more verbal, he started to try to talk to me through the door. Mostly, SHOUT his side of the story and say "I DIDN'T MEAN THAT!"</p><p></p><p>It's a very long process.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 636849, member: 3419"] Very interesting, Katherine. It's hard to say whether he is just feeding you what you want to hear. If he is, then at least you know you can get him to follow your rules. For example, "If you want more minutes on your phone, you have to clean your room. That means all books and toys off the floor, and all dirty clothes in the laundry room." You have to be VERY specific. Some part of his brain is just not registering. This sounds exactly like my son: [I]he acted, as if though he was going to hit me. Fist clinched, body pushed forward like a cat[/I] We talked about that a lot in therapy. I also gave my son a tour of juv. det. (They were soooo nice to him, and the officer kept saying, "He's a good kid. He doesn't need this tour." Arrgh! These kids are the Great Pretenders.) We had to create consequences for the "Attack Stance." I can't recall now, maybe taking away TV for a week or something. We prefer to have to act match the consequences but sometimes you just have to go for the gut. And Electronics is my son's middle name. :) One of the things that scared my son the most was "sending him away" when he attacked me. He saw me typing on the computer and searching for boys' homes and military schools. THAT really had an impact. But he is adopted, too, so there are some attachment issues, I'm sure. Does your son ever, at all, express remorse when you cry or anything? My son does, but it took a long time. (Don't know if I typed you a note about the time one of the dogs died and he said, "Can I go outside and play now?") He'd look at me strangely and just stay away from me. As he got older and more verbal, he started to try to talk to me through the door. Mostly, SHOUT his side of the story and say "I DIDN'T MEAN THAT!" It's a very long process. [/QUOTE]
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