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General Parenting
15 Yr Old Son: 1 Step Forward, 3 Steps Back
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 741434" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You are hesitant to have him singled out. And it seems right now he is singled out as a behavior problem, to be disciplined.</p><p></p><p>I understand that right now you feel gratitude for the special attention and help that your son is receiving from the counselor and teachers. I might have anxiety that they would get mad and withhold this caring, if I insisted upon the legal protections to which he is entitled by law. But this is exactly the point.</p><p></p><p>What is unacknowledged here is the power dynamic. Right now the school holds all of the power. In a second, they can decide to both withhold support and to punish swiftly. In fact, that has already started.</p><p></p><p>The caring they are demonstrating, should be genuine, not contingent upon your son receiving legally mandated services, or not. But most of all the support that your son receives should be determined by his needs, not the whims of others.</p><p></p><p>The very first thing I would do is get him special education protections. You would be surprised how many kids get assistance. It is nothing to be ashamed of.</p><p></p><p>Of course things will work themselves out or not with 504. However, I would not want to be dependent upon these teachers' largesse. But that is me. You see. They are not in complete control. There can be administrative decisions. Based upon resource allocation or other things. Their hands can be tied. Not so with an IEP.</p><p></p><p>I know I was too suspicious, not enough trusting, perhaps too adversarial. Some of that is individual differences. I learned as well from experience. I hope that yours is different.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 741434, member: 18958"] You are hesitant to have him singled out. And it seems right now he is singled out as a behavior problem, to be disciplined. I understand that right now you feel gratitude for the special attention and help that your son is receiving from the counselor and teachers. I might have anxiety that they would get mad and withhold this caring, if I insisted upon the legal protections to which he is entitled by law. But this is exactly the point. What is unacknowledged here is the power dynamic. Right now the school holds all of the power. In a second, they can decide to both withhold support and to punish swiftly. In fact, that has already started. The caring they are demonstrating, should be genuine, not contingent upon your son receiving legally mandated services, or not. But most of all the support that your son receives should be determined by his needs, not the whims of others. The very first thing I would do is get him special education protections. You would be surprised how many kids get assistance. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Of course things will work themselves out or not with 504. However, I would not want to be dependent upon these teachers' largesse. But that is me. You see. They are not in complete control. There can be administrative decisions. Based upon resource allocation or other things. Their hands can be tied. Not so with an IEP. I know I was too suspicious, not enough trusting, perhaps too adversarial. Some of that is individual differences. I learned as well from experience. I hope that yours is different. [/QUOTE]
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15 Yr Old Son: 1 Step Forward, 3 Steps Back
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