about2gocrazy
New Member
We are absolutely at wit's end with our 16-year-old son. I've unsure of where to even begin on describing it. He has dropped out of school twice now, is a regular user of marijuana and alcohol, is experimenting with cocaine and prescription pain pills. Just a few months ago the worst problem we had with him was enforcing the rule prohibiting him from smoking cigarettes. He had a bad attitude. He was out of control before, but after a bad breakup with his girlfriend he's become scary. He has a job and pays many of his own bills, but he always parties after he gets off work with an older crowd, and he has been written up by his employer for being high on the job. He has frequently been caught with a frightening number of girlfriends and "friends with benefits" (girls who he is friends with simply for sexual purposes) in the house. We believe he has been sexually active since he was 13 years old and we just learned he may have impregnated a girl recently. Last night he drove home from a party while extremely intoxicated on alcohol and marijuana and parked his car in the lawn (we have rescinded car privileges, but he's been out with the car again, we believe he copied the keys). He is rude, and aside from working and the few times he's at school, all he does is sleep and leave to get high or drunk. We have taken virtually every privilege we could think of but he outsmarts us at every turn. When we took away his Xbox and put it in his father's locked office, he made a very realistic replica of it and swapped them - we were fooled by it for two days. We have had to shut off the house internet modem at night to prevent him from accessing the computer - he is very stealthy and has no trouble remaining completely unheard when prowling the house at night. All of our other attempts to curtail his computer privilege have failed as he is very adept with computers. He mainly uses the computer to learn more about computers, but we have caught him looking at pornography several times now. Before he learned to remove the computer internet history, we also saw very disturbing evidence that he was involved in websites promoting and discussing satan worship, using many kinds of drugs at once, and illegal music downloading. He is currently in school but doesn't do any of the homework, he skips classes frequently, and vandalizes and steals. He was recently given an in-school suspension for stealing $50 and a ring from a girl's backpack and then throwing the bag onto the school roof. He spends time with like-minded friends who are also acting out, and we think he might be dabbling in dealing pot. He's been in several fights and although he didn't start them, he really beat up the other teens. Two weeks ago the police brought him home from school because he set a textbook on fire and had marijuana in his locker. To top things off, tonight during a shouting match he threatened me with a knife. We think he may possess a handgun, but we have searched everywhere and have not found it. After he finally went to sleep, we searched his schoolbag and found a razor and poetry he wrote about cutting and death, as well as the label to an empty bottle of prescription pain medication that had gone missing some time ago from my wife's purse and a stash of marijuana. Although we mainly hear bad news from his teachers, they have commented that his understanding of math and computers outstrips even his instructors and that he is an extraordinarily talented writer. He can build a working computer from spare parts he finds on classified ad websites. He is an incredibly intelligent young man with almost unlimited potential and a naturally hard worker at the things he chooses to pursue. He is very musically talented with a guitar and when he's not getting drunk and high he's very eloquent and can conversate on almost any topic. I fear his drug and alcohol use combined with his poor choices at school are going to cripple any chance he has of living up to what he's capable of at the least; put him into the corrections system at the most likely; kill him at the worst. No amount of discipline or punishment seems to get through to him, and he will argue for hours using foul language and shouting. He has a large extended family that are supportive of my wife and I, and a younger brother and sister that are scared of him. We want the boy who could fix any computer problem back, instead of this drugged, angry, mess. We want to hear about A's and honors societies again, not about him smoking pot in the bathroom or falling asleep in class. We want some peace in our home. And most importantly we just want our son back. The only way I can possibly phrase the question is, "What exactly are we dealing with, and what are we supposed to do?"