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General Parenting
16 Year old son is having multiple issues
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 718359" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Have you drug tested him? Is he using? Often this can cause huge problems and changes in personality very fast. I would insist on him taking at least a home drug test if you have not done this. You can get them at any drug store or walmart type store. Then you will know if you have to cope with that also.</p><p></p><p>It is going to take time and patience to get over this. Try some financial education. Let him see how much he can earn on what he can make without a high school diploma. Let him go and get a job. Let him pay his own cell phone bill, part of the home internet bill, etc... After all, when he is doing his job as your child he is going to school, playing football, getting good grades and you pay all those things. When he isn't doing those things, well, aren't those his bills to pay? Especially the car insurance and car maintenance and gas and other so expensive car bills? Add on all his activities, his clothes except for the goodwill thrift store kind that you provide if he is not in school doing well, and gee, that job at McDonalds doesn't look so great, does it? Be sure he is completely aware that you will NOT tolerate for one single second a job that is not one hundred and twenty percent legal. </p><p></p><p>You and I both know he cannot make any money or enjoy himself at all if he is pulling his own weight. He won't enjoy that life at all. Pull back all the fun stuff if he insists on being an adult. Let him be an adult. See how much fun it is. Then let him go and take on those tasks gradually the way most teens do. </p><p></p><p>Please don't back off on this woman. You completely did the right thing. Be sure your son gets counsellign because she totally messed him up. That is the one thing I would give him an incentive to keep up when you go into the "want to be an adult and work, okay here you go" mode. I would even pay him to go and participate if you have to. Not outrageously, but a bit more than whatever job he can get. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry she targetted your son I am glad you got her shut down. If the cops knew she was running a party house with drugs, why were they letting her stay open? I always wonder that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 718359, member: 1233"] Have you drug tested him? Is he using? Often this can cause huge problems and changes in personality very fast. I would insist on him taking at least a home drug test if you have not done this. You can get them at any drug store or walmart type store. Then you will know if you have to cope with that also. It is going to take time and patience to get over this. Try some financial education. Let him see how much he can earn on what he can make without a high school diploma. Let him go and get a job. Let him pay his own cell phone bill, part of the home internet bill, etc... After all, when he is doing his job as your child he is going to school, playing football, getting good grades and you pay all those things. When he isn't doing those things, well, aren't those his bills to pay? Especially the car insurance and car maintenance and gas and other so expensive car bills? Add on all his activities, his clothes except for the goodwill thrift store kind that you provide if he is not in school doing well, and gee, that job at McDonalds doesn't look so great, does it? Be sure he is completely aware that you will NOT tolerate for one single second a job that is not one hundred and twenty percent legal. You and I both know he cannot make any money or enjoy himself at all if he is pulling his own weight. He won't enjoy that life at all. Pull back all the fun stuff if he insists on being an adult. Let him be an adult. See how much fun it is. Then let him go and take on those tasks gradually the way most teens do. Please don't back off on this woman. You completely did the right thing. Be sure your son gets counsellign because she totally messed him up. That is the one thing I would give him an incentive to keep up when you go into the "want to be an adult and work, okay here you go" mode. I would even pay him to go and participate if you have to. Not outrageously, but a bit more than whatever job he can get. I am sorry she targetted your son I am glad you got her shut down. If the cops knew she was running a party house with drugs, why were they letting her stay open? I always wonder that. [/QUOTE]
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16 Year old son is having multiple issues
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