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16 Year old son is having multiple issues
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<blockquote data-quote="ARJ" data-source="post: 718414" data-attributes="member: 22239"><p>Thank you so much for your advice and your post. I am sorry to hear you were abused. I just can't fathom what goes through an abusers mind and what they think is acceptable and what the ultimate outcome will be.</p><p>He is 16 and I can't protect him when he's at work, school or with friends. That's what bothers me. I have no problem letting him do his "break away" thing as a teen. However at the same time he's just been through trauma and isn't thinking right. So what do I do? Lock him in the house? Have someone following him around? These are the things I don't know. Do I give him space other than getting him to counseling sessions?</p><p></p><p>I have seen many different approaches on line. Some that say "if he doesn't follow rules of being home on time etc lock the doors" well that's all well and good if he wasn't in this situation because once she's out and we do that they could split. She will be on an ankle monitor, have curfew and not be a loud within 100yards of anyone under 18 but what if that isn't something I feel she's afraid of? I may be wrong and she gets out and completely cuts ties after having some time to think. But I have to know what to do if he thinks he needs to intitiate contact to tell her he's sorry etc.</p><p>He has been imformed that any contact will be a violation of her release and that she'd go back to jail immediately but he thinks he's slick sometimes and just afraid he might try to get ahold of her.</p><p>He has never stolen from anyone, nor has he physically gotten violent towards people. He is relatively respectfull towards people. He says he agrees with the fact that things were pretty bad. But then comes back the next day saying we lied and got people put in jail when we shouldn't have etc etc. So he goes back and forth. His disrespect comes when he refuses to come home on time or keep us updated on what he's up to. So I can count my blessings as they come I guess. I hear and read of the things teens doing these days and he is certainly I'm trouble and needs help through this but thanks god he isn't . But that's not to say he's not in trouble and needs a lot of help. </p><p>Thanks again for any advice or just letting me vent.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ARJ, post: 718414, member: 22239"] Thank you so much for your advice and your post. I am sorry to hear you were abused. I just can't fathom what goes through an abusers mind and what they think is acceptable and what the ultimate outcome will be. He is 16 and I can't protect him when he's at work, school or with friends. That's what bothers me. I have no problem letting him do his "break away" thing as a teen. However at the same time he's just been through trauma and isn't thinking right. So what do I do? Lock him in the house? Have someone following him around? These are the things I don't know. Do I give him space other than getting him to counseling sessions? I have seen many different approaches on line. Some that say "if he doesn't follow rules of being home on time etc lock the doors" well that's all well and good if he wasn't in this situation because once she's out and we do that they could split. She will be on an ankle monitor, have curfew and not be a loud within 100yards of anyone under 18 but what if that isn't something I feel she's afraid of? I may be wrong and she gets out and completely cuts ties after having some time to think. But I have to know what to do if he thinks he needs to intitiate contact to tell her he's sorry etc. He has been imformed that any contact will be a violation of her release and that she'd go back to jail immediately but he thinks he's slick sometimes and just afraid he might try to get ahold of her. He has never stolen from anyone, nor has he physically gotten violent towards people. He is relatively respectfull towards people. He says he agrees with the fact that things were pretty bad. But then comes back the next day saying we lied and got people put in jail when we shouldn't have etc etc. So he goes back and forth. His disrespect comes when he refuses to come home on time or keep us updated on what he's up to. So I can count my blessings as they come I guess. I hear and read of the things teens doing these days and he is certainly I'm trouble and needs help through this but thanks god he isn't . But that's not to say he's not in trouble and needs a lot of help. Thanks again for any advice or just letting me vent. [/QUOTE]
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