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Substance Abuse
17 yr old son, defiant and using
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 637693" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Not to me. It makes sense. However, there is therapy that is very inexpensive. Every county has a mental health clinic. If you go to church, there is church counseling, often at no cost. But, frankly, nobody who didn't want to go to therapy ever got anything out of it...at least unless he eventually did get pulled in and engaged. And that can always happen.</p><p></p><p>Right now, I personally feel that your son has had more changes than most kids his age. Losing his mother is huge. And now he has four younger siblings and a new "mother" and his new sibs and new mother go together, but he's the odd man out. Maybe he would have been this way at this age even if none of that had happened, but it is likely that all the losses and changes contributed to it. It was out of your control, of course, but I do think he deserves a little more investment than the other kids who haven't lost anything. If there is any way to pull it off, I'd be in favor of trying to help your son professionally before he turns eighteen and you no longer have ANY say in his life.And I mean grief therapy or a grief group...not the interventionist's idea...that in my opinion is pointless.</p><p></p><p>Most of us at least tried the best we could and we had other kids too. If you have done all you can and things keep going south, then...well...you did all you could and he has to make a hard choice about how he wants to live his life and which rules he will follow when he turns eighteen. At least then you have done all you could and it's up to him to decide to either follow your house rules or leave. </p><p></p><p>That's kinda how I see it from an outside point of view.</p><p></p><p>Good luck <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 637693, member: 1550"] Not to me. It makes sense. However, there is therapy that is very inexpensive. Every county has a mental health clinic. If you go to church, there is church counseling, often at no cost. But, frankly, nobody who didn't want to go to therapy ever got anything out of it...at least unless he eventually did get pulled in and engaged. And that can always happen. Right now, I personally feel that your son has had more changes than most kids his age. Losing his mother is huge. And now he has four younger siblings and a new "mother" and his new sibs and new mother go together, but he's the odd man out. Maybe he would have been this way at this age even if none of that had happened, but it is likely that all the losses and changes contributed to it. It was out of your control, of course, but I do think he deserves a little more investment than the other kids who haven't lost anything. If there is any way to pull it off, I'd be in favor of trying to help your son professionally before he turns eighteen and you no longer have ANY say in his life.And I mean grief therapy or a grief group...not the interventionist's idea...that in my opinion is pointless. Most of us at least tried the best we could and we had other kids too. If you have done all you can and things keep going south, then...well...you did all you could and he has to make a hard choice about how he wants to live his life and which rules he will follow when he turns eighteen. At least then you have done all you could and it's up to him to decide to either follow your house rules or leave. That's kinda how I see it from an outside point of view. Good luck :) [/QUOTE]
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17 yr old son, defiant and using
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