Warning...small rant coming: Why is it becoming okay for people to use substances on a routine basis to "relax" or "make life easier" or whatever the reason is?
I understand a cocktail or two on the weekend. I'm not a prude, I drink a little socially. I get it.
But when people are using alcohol, pot, pills or whatever to relax and make themselves forget about real life and feel better about their emotions, or whatever the "reason of the day" is, I think that is bad.
And now, we are legalizing pot all over this country? It's stupid. And I don't get why if it's against federal law, the states can do it anyway.
Okay I'm done.
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Amelia, your daughter is 18 and I get that, too. She's a kid. But she's also an adult, in the eyes of the law. That means, if she gets arrested for possession or selling she will have a misdemeanor or a felony. That's serious business. I'm sure she knows this already, but of course, she thinks it won't happen to her.
Well my son, who is 25, has multiple misdemeanors and two felonies now for selling drugs. He has dug himself a deep hole that gets harder and harder and harder to climb out of. And he can give you such a story about how it all happened, and how he was just a victim of circumstances. Right.
It sounds like your daughter is slowly sliding down the hill into....a new way of living that is not good.
If you allow it, and she allows herself to continue the slide, it will only get worse.
I would set down some very simple, few, clear and firm ground rules for what will happen in your home. She will work full time if not going to school, and that means 40 hours a week. She will be up and out of the house every day by ___ a.m. She will have specific chores to do every day around the house. She will pay some rent, even if it's $25 a week or whatever you determine. If she is in school, she will work part-time and still have the chores.
Our young people need to be busy. They need to be tired at the end of the day. They need to run on the schedule that the rest of the world runs on, which is morning until end of the day. They need responsibility, not too much, but growing responsibilities for themselves, like paying for their own cell phones, their own gas, their own clothes and over time, their own car insurance, etc.
Otherwise, what are we teaching them? Now, we did all of this, and our son did it, until we finally kicked him out due to him NOT doing it and completely and totally ignoring the rules we set down.
I see your daughter as on the cusp of two directions. She can choose one, and thrive. She can choose the other, and continue the downhill slide.
I am sorry you are having this situation, Amelia. I hope she starts moving in the right direction. We get it here. We care. Please keep posting and you'll find a lot of support here. We have been there done that. Sadly, way too much.