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Substance Abuse
18 y/o daughter using pot and missing opportunities
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 630942" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well...by the way, welcome to the forum...first off, at least she isn't sponging your money and I assume if she moves out or travels it will be somehow on her own dime. That's a good thing. Lots of kids smoke lots of pot. I don't think it's good for anyone to do pot or booze or anything too much, but my opinion and yours don't really matter here. You can't stop her from doing it and you can't make her go back to school. Some adult kids do go back when they are older.</p><p></p><p>You may think your daughter isn't doing well, but maybe she is enjoying sleeping in late, not going to school and goofing off is a good life. Often our adult kids have different ideas than we do about what is good for them. At eighteen, she is not "only" eigheen. She is a legal adult and she can do whatever she wants to do. It wouldn't shock me if she told you she was seeing a counselor and didn't go. However, even if she does, unless she signs a paper allowing you to know about her sessions, you no longer can get any information about your legal adult daughter. </p><p></p><p>The only person you have any control over right now is yourself. You have to decide if you're ok with your daughter living in your house while she chooses a lifestyle that you don't approve of. Some moms here would say "yes, at least she's working" and some would say "Absolutely not." I don't know what I'd do. Frankly, if she were polite to me, paid some rent, and worked, I don't know that I'd make her leave, although, unless you are in CA or CO, she is breaking the law. Pot will be legal soon everywhere. I certainly would ban any sort of smoking, including cigarettes, in my own house. Not listening to THAT rule would be grounds for having to leave the house as nobody smokes in my house.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, this is just me and it's a hard question. Your daughter's two offenses here are smoking pot, which you don't like, and quitting school. If she is happy and productive and follow the house rules, sounds like she is going to strike out for her independence pretty soon anyway. </p><p></p><p>Others will hopefully come along...ones who are less "iffy" about your daughter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 630942, member: 1550"] Well...by the way, welcome to the forum...first off, at least she isn't sponging your money and I assume if she moves out or travels it will be somehow on her own dime. That's a good thing. Lots of kids smoke lots of pot. I don't think it's good for anyone to do pot or booze or anything too much, but my opinion and yours don't really matter here. You can't stop her from doing it and you can't make her go back to school. Some adult kids do go back when they are older. You may think your daughter isn't doing well, but maybe she is enjoying sleeping in late, not going to school and goofing off is a good life. Often our adult kids have different ideas than we do about what is good for them. At eighteen, she is not "only" eigheen. She is a legal adult and she can do whatever she wants to do. It wouldn't shock me if she told you she was seeing a counselor and didn't go. However, even if she does, unless she signs a paper allowing you to know about her sessions, you no longer can get any information about your legal adult daughter. The only person you have any control over right now is yourself. You have to decide if you're ok with your daughter living in your house while she chooses a lifestyle that you don't approve of. Some moms here would say "yes, at least she's working" and some would say "Absolutely not." I don't know what I'd do. Frankly, if she were polite to me, paid some rent, and worked, I don't know that I'd make her leave, although, unless you are in CA or CO, she is breaking the law. Pot will be legal soon everywhere. I certainly would ban any sort of smoking, including cigarettes, in my own house. Not listening to THAT rule would be grounds for having to leave the house as nobody smokes in my house. Anyway, this is just me and it's a hard question. Your daughter's two offenses here are smoking pot, which you don't like, and quitting school. If she is happy and productive and follow the house rules, sounds like she is going to strike out for her independence pretty soon anyway. Others will hopefully come along...ones who are less "iffy" about your daughter. [/QUOTE]
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18 y/o daughter using pot and missing opportunities
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