startingfresh
Active Member
Hello,
Husband and I have been warning son for a long time that he needs to find a place to live other than with us. He is 18. He has a full time 8-5 job and is quite responsible as far as the job goes. Yet he continues to smoke weed daily and seems to be getting worse and worse as far as the rest of his life goes. He stays out late after work and doesn't ever let us know when he will be home. His bedroom and car are a complete mess, filled with old food and cigarettes, trash etc. He loses everything from his drivers license to keys just about everyday. He is rude to his siblings and refuses to join in any family events. He also helps himself to anything he needs from family and doesn't take care of things. He lies about taking things and then I find them in his car. He now also smokes cigarettes and although I cook for the family, he stops and gets fast food instead . We get calls about his speeding and running stop signs from neighbors. We have been through much more difficult times with him throughout high school with him and because of that we have just been happy that he has a good job and seemed to be headed somewhere. We have talked with him about his substance abuse and how we would be willing to help him with whatever he needs to get help with that. He refuses any and all help.
But after a particularly ridiculous week of things going missing and complaints from siblings about the weed smell, we asked him to leave. We have offered help in finding a place but he does not want our help. He up and left without a coat or anything. From his bank account withdrawals, I can see that he spent the night driving around here and there. I am sick with worry as he does not seem to have the sense or clear thinking to take care of himself. I don't post often but I do read all the struggles and appreciate all the great advice I read. He has friends but would rather suffer than ask anyone for a place to stay. I don't know if he went to work or not and am trying to decide if I should check. He has less than 100 dollars so I imagine I will hear from him when he needs money. I do feel its good for him to start feeling the pain of his choices. I don;t want to continue to make it easy for him to blow hundreds of dollars on weed and fast food because he doesn't have to budget for fixed living expenses, etc. Right now he only has to pay for his gas and insurance for his car . He does pay us rent but he tells me to pull it out of his savings which is money he was given over the years that I have tucked away and he can't access. So he doesn't feel the pain of it at all.
Does anyone know of transitional type housing for young people who are ready to leave home but not really ready for the full responsibility of being on their own? I imagine a place with some freedom and some supports? I have looked into job corps but since he is employed, don't think that would work.
Husband and I have been warning son for a long time that he needs to find a place to live other than with us. He is 18. He has a full time 8-5 job and is quite responsible as far as the job goes. Yet he continues to smoke weed daily and seems to be getting worse and worse as far as the rest of his life goes. He stays out late after work and doesn't ever let us know when he will be home. His bedroom and car are a complete mess, filled with old food and cigarettes, trash etc. He loses everything from his drivers license to keys just about everyday. He is rude to his siblings and refuses to join in any family events. He also helps himself to anything he needs from family and doesn't take care of things. He lies about taking things and then I find them in his car. He now also smokes cigarettes and although I cook for the family, he stops and gets fast food instead . We get calls about his speeding and running stop signs from neighbors. We have been through much more difficult times with him throughout high school with him and because of that we have just been happy that he has a good job and seemed to be headed somewhere. We have talked with him about his substance abuse and how we would be willing to help him with whatever he needs to get help with that. He refuses any and all help.
But after a particularly ridiculous week of things going missing and complaints from siblings about the weed smell, we asked him to leave. We have offered help in finding a place but he does not want our help. He up and left without a coat or anything. From his bank account withdrawals, I can see that he spent the night driving around here and there. I am sick with worry as he does not seem to have the sense or clear thinking to take care of himself. I don't post often but I do read all the struggles and appreciate all the great advice I read. He has friends but would rather suffer than ask anyone for a place to stay. I don't know if he went to work or not and am trying to decide if I should check. He has less than 100 dollars so I imagine I will hear from him when he needs money. I do feel its good for him to start feeling the pain of his choices. I don;t want to continue to make it easy for him to blow hundreds of dollars on weed and fast food because he doesn't have to budget for fixed living expenses, etc. Right now he only has to pay for his gas and insurance for his car . He does pay us rent but he tells me to pull it out of his savings which is money he was given over the years that I have tucked away and he can't access. So he doesn't feel the pain of it at all.
Does anyone know of transitional type housing for young people who are ready to leave home but not really ready for the full responsibility of being on their own? I imagine a place with some freedom and some supports? I have looked into job corps but since he is employed, don't think that would work.