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18 year old son refuses to take his medications
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 676415" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi and welcome to the forum. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>We have to set ground rules for how we expect adults (our adult children) to behave as they grow up but still aren't ready to launch and need to live with us. If they don't want to live by our rules, which hopefully are few and reasonable, then once they are 18, they can make other arrangements. After all, according to the law, they are adults at that point, even if they don't act like adults.</p><p></p><p>With my son, I was willing to allow him to live here while he was in college. That is, until he flunked out, started acting very rude and later stole from me. Then I found out more about the extent of his drug and alcohol use, and started setting more rules and boundaries, and writing contracts (not worth the paper they were written on) and there was a lot of conflict. Finally, I had had enough and he walked out the door. </p><p></p><p>The next few years were more painful than I could ever have imagined.</p><p></p><p>So, given my experience, and that you are at the beginning of this with your son who is depressed and doesn't want to take the medications, I would suggest this:</p><p></p><p>1. Get all of the professional help you can get. Go with him to a therapist and ask him/her to help you both. Consult his physician (with him involved) about the fact he doesn't want to take medicine and how he behaves when he isn't on it. If your county mental health services are available to you, get them involved. Don't try to do this by yourself.</p><p></p><p>2. Take away the video games. Set reasonable rules within your home about chores, lights out, a part time or full time job, contributing some $ for rent, etc. It's not reasonable for an 18-year-old young man to sit and play video games all day and all night. Put a stop to it. Take out the Wifi if you have to. If he doesn't like living there, and gets "bored" enough maybe he will move out without you having to force it.</p><p></p><p>3. Take care of yourself. Start putting yourself first. Read the book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. Most of we mothers have awful boundaries with our adult sons. We truly don't know where they begin and end, and where we begin and end. We are separate people from them. It's time to start realizing that and acting accordingly.</p><p></p><p>4. Use this forum as a sounding board. Most of us have been there and done that. We are glad to offer thoughts and ideas, and you don't have to do any of what we recommend. (isn't that great! : )</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Eighteen year old boys don't have a clue, quite frankly. You're the adult here. He has a lot to learn. Stand tall and claim your power as a Warrior Mom!</p><p></p><p>Hugs on this Monday!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 676415, member: 17542"] Hi and welcome to the forum. We have to set ground rules for how we expect adults (our adult children) to behave as they grow up but still aren't ready to launch and need to live with us. If they don't want to live by our rules, which hopefully are few and reasonable, then once they are 18, they can make other arrangements. After all, according to the law, they are adults at that point, even if they don't act like adults. With my son, I was willing to allow him to live here while he was in college. That is, until he flunked out, started acting very rude and later stole from me. Then I found out more about the extent of his drug and alcohol use, and started setting more rules and boundaries, and writing contracts (not worth the paper they were written on) and there was a lot of conflict. Finally, I had had enough and he walked out the door. The next few years were more painful than I could ever have imagined. So, given my experience, and that you are at the beginning of this with your son who is depressed and doesn't want to take the medications, I would suggest this: 1. Get all of the professional help you can get. Go with him to a therapist and ask him/her to help you both. Consult his physician (with him involved) about the fact he doesn't want to take medicine and how he behaves when he isn't on it. If your county mental health services are available to you, get them involved. Don't try to do this by yourself. 2. Take away the video games. Set reasonable rules within your home about chores, lights out, a part time or full time job, contributing some $ for rent, etc. It's not reasonable for an 18-year-old young man to sit and play video games all day and all night. Put a stop to it. Take out the Wifi if you have to. If he doesn't like living there, and gets "bored" enough maybe he will move out without you having to force it. 3. Take care of yourself. Start putting yourself first. Read the book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. Most of we mothers have awful boundaries with our adult sons. We truly don't know where they begin and end, and where we begin and end. We are separate people from them. It's time to start realizing that and acting accordingly. 4. Use this forum as a sounding board. Most of us have been there and done that. We are glad to offer thoughts and ideas, and you don't have to do any of what we recommend. (isn't that great! : ) Hang in there. Eighteen year old boys don't have a clue, quite frankly. You're the adult here. He has a lot to learn. Stand tall and claim your power as a Warrior Mom! Hugs on this Monday! [/QUOTE]
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18 year old son refuses to take his medications
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