18 year oldleft home and dropped out

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Alice1978, Apr 26, 2012.

  1. Alice1978

    Alice1978 New Member

    I live in ny. My daughter moved out days after she turned 18 and dropped out of school. She was doing well there but never really had any real friends.she is extremely promiscuous. She lies all the time and for no reason, always has. Makes up all kinds of horror stories. I don't know if she is on drugs the people she chooses to be with aren't going anywhere. I hear she drinks a lot. I can't believe she is giving school up she was in a nursing program and she said she loved it. She does work two jobs, has no car on the road. I just wish I could make her finish high school. It doesn't seem fair.
  2. Alice,
    Wishing you a warm welcome but sorry you feel like you need to be here.

    I'm pretty new here and don't have much experience but there are lots of people that I'm sure will chime in to give you some kind words and advice.

    I can say that it would definitely help people to help you if you could give more background information and history on what has been happening with your daughter.

    Big hugs to you.
  3. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    My son started out in gifted classes, by the time he was 16 I had had enough. I drove him to take his GED at sat in the car the entire time to make sure he STAYED and took the tests. ALL 3 DAYS!!!!

    He was also difficult from the very beginning and I am sure his teachers were glad he wasn't coming back lol!!! He also started the lies at an early age and made up stories. I think they have low self esteem among other things.

    I made mine move out at 19 and from some of the posts on the forum about how hard of a time they are having trying to get adult kids to move out, we are lucky they left.

    It is very difficult to watch them make poor choices and hopefully she will decide to finish school. At least she works!!!
    (((blessings to us all)))
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome to the board. Im so sorry you had to find us.

    It is so sad when our kids make the bad decisions that may follow them. Hopefully she will pull herself together and get back in school. Its not too late for her. I hope you hear from her soon.

    Like the above posters said, it would be helpful if you could give us some background information on your daughter and her life growing up so we have a clearer picture to work with when giving advice.

  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm really sorry.

    I am thinking with the drinking are drugs. That is probably the biggest reason our well behaved, intelligent children suddenly do really strange things like give up their futures (at least on a temporary basis).

    Hang in there. Most of us have already been through similar things (or are going through them now) and we understand and care. I agree that more background would help us support you better.
  6. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    Alice: Welcome to this board. I am so sorry about your daughter's terrible decisions. I'm sure that in time she will realize that she will never have a good future without a HS diploma. I know how painful this is for you, & watching your daughter spiral downhill is so hard to do. Where is your difficult child living now?

    I am sending you good wishes for the strength to get help for your difficult child when the time is right. Please keep posting because you have friends here.
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    HI Alice,

    I'mglad you found the board so you have some support and will get some straight shooting advice from parents who have been there done that or are currently going through the same things you are. You are not alone. I found comfort in that alone, knowing that it wasn't anything I had done - that the things I could say - or learn to say could make somewhat of a difference in how my kids perceived me and made their choices. And how my mental state went on in the years to come. THAT was my ONLY choice really. I had no control over their choices. Accepting that was hard, but not impossible.

    Welcome -
    Hugs & Love
  8. Hope2

    Hope2 bluemoon

    Alice..I am a newbie too and so sorry you are going thru this..I am going thru about the same thing with my 19 year old grandson..but he was enrolled in college and now I find out he never went to school at all... very bright boy graduated almost highest in his IB class ..had problems but then things went down hill when he went away to college and got an apartment..he is not returning any of our calls right now and I know how hard this is for you..hang in there and just be a mom...hugs...
  9. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Alice I am sorry you are going through this... I do wonder about the drinking as it seems like substance abuse adds to the really bad decisions kids make. If she is keeping two jobs that is a good thing..... and plenty of people get their ged and then go to community college so although it is not at all what you want she still has options.

    If you think her drinking is out of hand check out the substance abuse board.