18 years wants a boyfriend only to hurt him!!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Maria Kasparova, Sep 2, 2017.

  1. Maria Kasparova

    Maria Kasparova New Member

    She has never had a boyfriend but she wants to have one only to hurt him, to break his heart. And I know her very well, she is able to do that. She is very beautiful, intelligent but sometimes seems very evil. She wants to act like his ideal type and then make him fall in love with her. After some months, when he is completely in love, she would do something very bad to break his heart (like cheating, break up with him saying she is bored with him etc) then tell him she never loved him. I have talked to her about this and told me she was this way since she heard about relationships for the first time. I don't know why she wants to do this because nobody has ever broken her heart (she has never been in love) and her father is a very good person who talks to her about everything and always understands her. She doesn't have any reasons to hate men like that. Please give me some advice.
    Oh, and I want to tell you something more. She has always had an urge to hit animals, especially cats (she said cats were very cute and that's why she wants to torture them). I don't know if she has ever tortured an animal, I don't think so. When she was little I thought it was normal. But now she is an adult and this urges haven't stopped yet.
    How can I help her?
    Thank you.
     
  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    This is concerning behaviour, can you seek guidance from a therapist?
     
  3. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Hi Maria,

    I agree with @Littleboylost that you need to seek guidance from a therapist.

    My concern is this type of behaviour sounds sociopathic. Her desire to inflict pain on a "boyfriend" or animal on purpose is cause for alarm. If she starts to act out on these urges and finds that she enjoys it, it might lead to more serious type of behaviour.

    I cannot stress enough that you need immediate help from a therapist. You may not be able to get your daughter to go but a good therapist should be able to direct you in what you can do.

    I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I can only imagine how scared you must be.

    If your last name is in your profile you may want to remove it.

    Please let us know how things are going.
     
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  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    It does sound sociopathic. I am more worried about you and dad than a man she hasbt met yet, although her intention is purely mean. I dont know if you can help her but you can protect yourself. Does she live with you?
     
  5. Maria Kasparova

    Maria Kasparova New Member

    Yes, she lives with me.
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    What else has she done that you call evil? Trying to find out if she is dangerius to you. I sure would not own any pets as long as she is there.
     
  7. Maria Kasparova

    Maria Kasparova New Member

    She has hurt a little kid and enjoys anything about violence (video games, movies, fights, animal abuse, children abuse etc), is very aggressive, shows a little to no empathy.
     
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Do you have younger kids she can hurt?
     
  9. Maria Kasparova

    Maria Kasparova New Member

    No. She is the only one child
     
  10. Sam3

    Sam3 Active Member

    Hi. I'm very sorry for you. I have read that some people with anti-social personality disorders can choose to live in a pro-social way, with the help of cognitive behavioral therapy. I guess they would need some insight that their thinking was disordered or at least motivation to avoid negative consequences (loss of family support, housing, incarceration if they act criminally, etc).

    (-- on a side note, you may want to change your screen name to something less identifying)
     
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