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18 yo son out of control
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 725118" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome!</p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry for what you are going through but please know that you are not alone.</p><p></p><p>Your safety and the safety of your home needs to be your top priority. I too was a victim of violence from my own son. I came home one day to find he had taken a hammer to our bedroom door to get inside, there was a hole a foot wide. He stole our safe that had money in it. I did call the police, they found him with our safe. I also called the police when he took a butcher knife to my kitchen counters and destroyed them, he was upset that he couldn't find any money in our house to steal. </p><p></p><p>I know you may be hesitant to call the police but there needs to be a record of what he's done. I can also tell you cannot deal with this on your own. While we can't force our kids to take their medications or go to counseling, we can set limits and boundaries. When we set limits and boundaries we need to be very clear and stick with them. </p><p>You could tell him that a condition of staying in your home is that he has to go to counseling and that the abuse of drugs will not be tolerated. If the decision is made to liberate him from your home you can supply him with the names of shelters and food pantries. You can also purchase him a sleeping bag and tent. </p><p></p><p>Where is he getting the Xanax, pot and other drugs? Are you giving him money?</p><p></p><p></p><p>I do not like the term "kick them out" I prefer to say they are being liberated to live their life on their terms.</p><p>My son was also immature but he managed. I would venture a guess that your son is not as naive as you think. </p><p></p><p>One thing for sure, this will not be resolved overnight. Also, please do not allow your son to drive a wedge between you and your husband. You both need to be aligned together. I wish I had found this site years ago and I could have saved myself years of heartache, fights with my husband and thousands of dollars.</p><p></p><p>Nothing will change until you change it.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you............................</p><p></p><p>*****note you may want to change your name for privacy******</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 725118, member: 18516"] Welcome! I'm so sorry for what you are going through but please know that you are not alone. Your safety and the safety of your home needs to be your top priority. I too was a victim of violence from my own son. I came home one day to find he had taken a hammer to our bedroom door to get inside, there was a hole a foot wide. He stole our safe that had money in it. I did call the police, they found him with our safe. I also called the police when he took a butcher knife to my kitchen counters and destroyed them, he was upset that he couldn't find any money in our house to steal. I know you may be hesitant to call the police but there needs to be a record of what he's done. I can also tell you cannot deal with this on your own. While we can't force our kids to take their medications or go to counseling, we can set limits and boundaries. When we set limits and boundaries we need to be very clear and stick with them. You could tell him that a condition of staying in your home is that he has to go to counseling and that the abuse of drugs will not be tolerated. If the decision is made to liberate him from your home you can supply him with the names of shelters and food pantries. You can also purchase him a sleeping bag and tent. Where is he getting the Xanax, pot and other drugs? Are you giving him money? I do not like the term "kick them out" I prefer to say they are being liberated to live their life on their terms. My son was also immature but he managed. I would venture a guess that your son is not as naive as you think. One thing for sure, this will not be resolved overnight. Also, please do not allow your son to drive a wedge between you and your husband. You both need to be aligned together. I wish I had found this site years ago and I could have saved myself years of heartache, fights with my husband and thousands of dollars. Nothing will change until you change it. ((HUGS)) to you............................ *****note you may want to change your name for privacy****** [/QUOTE]
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