A
AmericanGirl
Guest
My 18 yo difficult child was arrested for dui two days after Thanksgiving. Didn't call me. Someone else did. Left him there for about 8 hours after when he could be bailed out in hopes he would wake up a bit.
That night, I learned he was failing 3 of 5 classes, had just gotten his 3rd speeding tix for the semester, had become a smoker (since moving in the dorm six weeks earlier), had a tattoo, and yes, a drinking problem. But, he could handle it on his own. Yeah, right.
A few days later, i learn he was arrested for shoplifting. He agreed then to start intensive outpatient rehab. His other choice was to be homeless after the term ended.
Since then, he has come home since dorms closed. He is regularly hostile. For example, today's fit included berating me for expecting him to get out of the car to retrieve the mail from the mailbox. His arrogance is easily seen during family meetings at rehab. He goes 15 hours a week.
Im a single mom. We have no real family. Have stopped contact with the few around due to their decades of substance abuse, mental illnesses and refusal to seek help.
difficult child has three months job experience. Not working now. I have possession of car he had before dui. Is in my name. Not returning it unless and until he is clean for a while and attitude improves.
However, have little hope. difficult child threw fit on way home from rehab. Wants to couch-surf for rest of break. Claims he can find rides to rehab. Not buying it. Dropped him off at friend's house tonight because *I* needed a night off.
Just tired of being criticized all the time. I forgot to mention difficult child was financing his alcohol habit by selling his adhd medications. Called doctor. Everything of value in my home is locked up.
I don't know where to draw line and kick him out. I know i cannot change him. Dont know if i can manage the stress for four more weeks until rehab ends and he goes back to dorm. Even then, he still has one ticket, the dui, and shoplifting to handle....all while berating me...
Any advice you have....i am grateful. Thanks for reading!!
That night, I learned he was failing 3 of 5 classes, had just gotten his 3rd speeding tix for the semester, had become a smoker (since moving in the dorm six weeks earlier), had a tattoo, and yes, a drinking problem. But, he could handle it on his own. Yeah, right.
A few days later, i learn he was arrested for shoplifting. He agreed then to start intensive outpatient rehab. His other choice was to be homeless after the term ended.
Since then, he has come home since dorms closed. He is regularly hostile. For example, today's fit included berating me for expecting him to get out of the car to retrieve the mail from the mailbox. His arrogance is easily seen during family meetings at rehab. He goes 15 hours a week.
Im a single mom. We have no real family. Have stopped contact with the few around due to their decades of substance abuse, mental illnesses and refusal to seek help.
difficult child has three months job experience. Not working now. I have possession of car he had before dui. Is in my name. Not returning it unless and until he is clean for a while and attitude improves.
However, have little hope. difficult child threw fit on way home from rehab. Wants to couch-surf for rest of break. Claims he can find rides to rehab. Not buying it. Dropped him off at friend's house tonight because *I* needed a night off.
Just tired of being criticized all the time. I forgot to mention difficult child was financing his alcohol habit by selling his adhd medications. Called doctor. Everything of value in my home is locked up.
I don't know where to draw line and kick him out. I know i cannot change him. Dont know if i can manage the stress for four more weeks until rehab ends and he goes back to dorm. Even then, he still has one ticket, the dui, and shoplifting to handle....all while berating me...
Any advice you have....i am grateful. Thanks for reading!!